Mama M's place

For the love of

2012-02-10T22:26:00.002-06:00

Today was a "for the love" kind of day.
   For the love of E1, I was out of bed and dressed and functional by 8am. He had to be at SMS by 8:30 for the Hero Honor Choir. They sounded great! You can find links to the video on http://www.smsd.org.
   After that was conferencing with some teachers at the middle school.   Discipline comes from love too. Poor kid in the hot seat. Well, he put himself there.
Then it was grocery shopping, and valentine shopping. We have 3 V-day boxes to make this weekend + about 100 valentines to get signed.
   Then it was about having kids pursue what they love.   I dropped E1 off at dance, and took E2 to basketball practice.
   Then I came home, and am testing some recipe ideas out for a baby shower I'm helping to plan, because I love my friends too.
   Overall, today has been lovely.

Heroes part II

2012-02-01T14:56:00.004-06:00

     We survived the museum experience. I was so proud of my non-public speaker for putting together his speech, and performing so well. While he didn't get "chosen" to represent the school as his hero, he did get chosen for the honor choir that sings at the district-wide assembly next week.
     Monday an envelope came home with the sheet music, and a CD. He went upstairs to practice, and was doing okay until he saw the last song.
    "Mom, we've worked on all this music in class except Dreamer. How can I do a song we haven't sung in choir?"
   "That's why they sent home the CD. You'll do fine, as long as you practice and get it memorized on time."
    "But we haven't worked on it in choir."
   "Kid, that's why it's called an honor choir. Honors require extra effort."
   "Okay." Upstairs he goes.
On to yesterday:
   "So have you practiced?"
   "Yes mom." In that bored, know it all, adolescent voice....
   "How's the memorizing going?"
   "Um, well..."
   "You only have a week!"
   "I know." He slinks upstairs to practice some more. That's the beauty of music. You know when they're doing what they're supposed to because you can hear it. I wish I could hear chimes chimes when kids do their math homework.
It's good he's learning this now. It will hopefully save us both grief later.

Teen Drama, or teen drama?

2012-02-01T11:04:00.001-06:00

I'm in a parenting quagmire with our oldest son. He's brilliant. He's personable. He's funny. He's creative. He's active in the church & community. He's failing multiple classes from not turning stuff in....and he didn't get kicked out of the school play over it either. He got to have his cake and eat it too.
    I relayed my grief to a high school teacher friend. Her perspective:
    "I get a student like that every three years or so. They're so darn nice, and respectful, and you know they're capable of doing well...so you believe them when they 'forget' or when they agree to come in to make it up, and then they never show up! As the teacher you're thinking, I should've e-mailed his parents a week ago! ACK! The little con artist." Yep. That's my son.
     Now it's my job to get him back on the straight and narrow.   It's not going to matter if he's an Eagle scout if he doesn't meet the minimum GPA for admission at the college of his choice.
"But mom, this year doesn't really matter. My grades don't count yet anyway."
"Son, this is the practice round. The habits you form (or don't form) now will come back to you later."
   "Ok. I get it." and then I get three nasty-grams from the schools automated system over the next week. (sigh) Rinse. repeat.
    This week seems to be going better. He is showing us real, current homework, and I don't have any nasty-grams yet. I can hope....because I'd really rather dwell on his great acting abilities on the stage than off it.

I have the attention span of gnat,

2012-01-26T16:38:00.001-06:00

especially while cooking. First of all, there is recipe selection. Today for dinner I picked a simple one from Martha Stewart.
http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/sweet-spicy-chicken-00000000014577/index.html
Then I proceeded to make it not so simple. My thought process goes something like this.

"That looks good, but I'm using chicken quarters, and dark meat is kind of sweet to start with. I bet it would be better with a marinade. Oh look, we have draft cider. Let's throw that in a gallon bag w/ some cider vinegar...and a bay leaf...and a cinnamon stick....Oregano is the only herbage. We'll throw a bay leaf in there. Well, what's a recipe w/ garlic and onion. I have dried minced garlic and toasted onion. Let's just throw that in the marinade too, and salt and pepper of course."
And the weird factor was the dry mustard & tandoori seasoning. Not sure about that.
It's done marinading. The rest is pretty straightforward, right? Uh sure. Off the bat I double it. Our olive oil is garlic flavored, fine. I find our brown sugar has um, dried out a bit...so I use honey. I have two kinds of oregano. Mexican is the obvious choice. A splash of cider vinegar. Can't be too sweet. Red pepper flakes. Mr. Man likes heat. Finally, it's in the oven.

Then there's all the used-to-be-small people buzzing around, going "can I help?"
"Of course you can help. Do you want to help me start the rice?"

In about half an hour, we'll have chicken, brown rice and broccoli, really.

Documenting this process, with pictures, is why I'm thinking about starting a food blog. Because amongst all the weirdness, sometimes something great works out.

Surprise! It wasn't outpatient after all.

2012-01-22T08:56:00.000-06:00

Most of you know I had my first overnight stay in a hospital for something besides childbirth. Nothing beats coming home. My feelings about this at the time were somewhat, what? Whatever. Quit poking me. Lemmee sleep, maybe watch some food network.
    Mr. Man visited some, and like a good Dad, brought kids by for short visits.   The kids were all okay. Only one turned into velcro on sight, and it wasn't the youngest either. He was living the high life at a friends house.
I suspect the doctors in their infinite wisdom heard how many kids I have, and looked for an excuse to keep me, so at least I'd rest one day, because even though Mr. man is the best, he is still just one man.
   There are many things I've pondered since being home.

1) Could I have picked a busier time in our schedule?
   The answer is yes, the chaos of play+ kids playing basketball + Fri ballet still looks leisurely compared to multiple kids playing football and/or soccer in the fall.
2) Is it really that hard to clean a bathroom?
I've delegated it, twice, but the jailer (aka husband), still says I have to wait it out for the two week sentence before I clean anything myself.
3) How many days would it be before breaking the 10lb weight limit?
3, the answer was three thanks to SI jumping on the couch yesterday while Mr. Man was playing taxi, and my removing him, but it drove me back to narcotics, so we'll try for a longer record this time.
4) Why do I see every missed "thing" now that I'm not allowed to do anything about it?

But I digress. With the Vibe needing a new tire/tire repair, at least I won't be tempted to drive too soon.

So, should this crazy momma start a third blog?

2012-01-12T23:04:00.002-06:00

     I love this blog. I love how it journals our lives, what the kids are doing, and the flow of life in general. It is the good, the bad, and the funny of being in our family.Although much more sporadic, the hippo does help keep me accountable to my fitness goals.    Neither blog is a work of blogilicious beauty, so why start another?
   Well, I get a lot of food questions, so I'm kind of thinking about doing a food blog. I might even try posting pictures on it. If I do this blog, this would be the one where I try to take it up a notch, learn more about formatting, uploading photos, editing & proofreading, and such. It would be a stretch, since ticky-tacky-detail-person I am not.
    It also might be just what I need to ease into having no kids at home for half a day, every day, this fall. Planning and formatting and researching, well...it might not launch until next year. Or it might launch next September. I'm just considering the idea for now.

on twinkies

2012-01-12T16:28:00.000-06:00

    Apparently, twinkies are a multi-faceted issue. Who knew?
There are sub-issues that came up today with the announcement of Hostess filing for "bankruptcy" protection.

1) The value of their product.
     a)Part of why they're struggling is that they are selling less. As people get more educated about food, they don't want to eat trans-fats (that change the structure of your brain!), large amounts of sugar, (simple sugars are hard on your blood vessels and insulin levels), or the various chemical agents used to preserve foods. This is a good thing. That alone, doesn't negate them the "right" to restructure, but it does make me hope that unless they totally change their product profile, that the restructure won't work.
     This statement on my wall brought all kinds of FB fury down on me about the issue. I credit most people for not making it personal, but the ones who did take it personally, it was because of this angle. (Love ya friends, but not likely to change to my opinion. Nor are you likely to change yours.) Yes, I would still have the same thoughts is if it was my beloved Diet Mountain Dew under the axe, because artificial sweeteners, excess phosphorous,etc. are almost equally horrid. (I *do* plan to ditch soda entirely, within the next year)
     b) Some argued for the nostalgic value of the product, it's place in our culture. I understand this, but feel it underscores part of why our nation has "food issues."

2) Should businesses be able to file for bankruptcy more often than individuals?
     Some thought that corporate and individual protections should be the same. Some thought it was okay that corporations had some "extra give". Some thought individuals should have more protections. My dear husband said, "just let corporations fail, and figure it out. It worked for the steel industry." Given I have friends ranging for "occupy" activists to "tea-party", this does not surprise me.
      Personally, I'd like to see the money spent on "protecting the corporations" to "protect jobs" be reallocated somehow to train the workforce for new jobs that have higher demand. There are still fields that have chronic worker shortages. How? Good question.

3) Who's paying for it? The consumers. The expenses of the restructure to the company will be recouped from the sale of their products at higher prices. The decline in mental/physical health will be paid for through the consumer with higher medical insurance and fees. The legal expenses of the court system that exceeds what the corporations are charged will be paid through our taxes.
    It's true if they failed, we'd be paying up to six months unemployment for the workers who were laid off, maybe some medicaid too. That's hundreds of thousands, but the cost of helping them succeed is millions + quality of life.
And even I, was willing to shrug that off once, the first time. Now the second time in not so long, I have an opinion. My kids plates reflect that.

Heroes

2012-01-11T14:19:00.003-06:00

Every 5th grader has to do a "hero" report on an American hero in our school district. The paper, not so fun, but this assignment has a perk. It has an oral presentation where they get to dress up and talk about their hero, as their hero. This is called the "hero museum", that is open for parents, community members,etc. to come in and press a button, and watch the hero come to life.
Today was the hero museum for fifth grade.
E1 is in fifth grade this year. His hero is Neil Armstrong. It's a really good fit for him. He was a bit disappointed I didn't make him a space suit. (I, of course, figured out how to do so, after the costume due date.) So he had to make do with the standard suit/tie & a little NASA symbol his teacher helped him with.
Other heroes represented were President Grant, Annie Oakley, Christopher Reeves, Amelia Earheart, Abraham Lincoln, and more. Movie Stars and baseball to War Generals and Presidents, the founder of the Red Cross, a famous cellist and scientists; all were represented. I love seeing the diversity in these kids.
Carry on. Carry on.

A pretty perfect Saturday.

2012-01-07T19:05:00.002-06:00

   Today was the first day of Upward basketball games for the kidlets. Martin took them, and I stayed home with the oldest two to OD on digital. What was really fun was how with the girls games, he'd just send me scores, or Miss P's case, "herd reports." When our tall skinny athletic kid played his first game, he started keeping stats. 0-1 for baskets, but honey, he got two steals, a rebound, and forced a turnover. (Guess what sport my man likes best?)   Besides watching the kids play, KSU stomped MU in college ball.   I also made stew for dinner, so Mr. Man couldn't have had a better day.
   The grandparents took the youngest three after the first set of games, so the oldest three didn't have to share the Wii, or worry about the "content" of what they were playing as much.   Mostly they were being owlish, (Guardians of G'hool)...but there was some racing and Lego Star Wars in there too.
   As for me, other than making dinner and doing some laundry, I pretty much let everything go today.   I went through friends and friends of friends pages on Pinterest, discovering all sorts of skills/recipes I want to try. It was good to recharge...for tomorrow is further on and further in.

Happy New Year! Time to jump through some hoops.

2012-01-04T20:49:00.000-06:00

Basketball hoops that is. At this moment, Mr. man is watching Willie and the Hawks duke it out. This Saturday, our kids Upward games start. Since only one child is playing in any given game, and we have three kids playing, that means we know what we're doing for about four hours every Saturday for the next several weeks.   (E1 took a pass. He'll stick to dance and bowling, thankyouverymuch.)
   I can't wait! Nothing is cuter than kindie sports. Miss P is a hoot. Piggies flying, determined pout in place, and flashing eyes as she hip-hops around the court.
   Almost as entertaining, is watching the very determined Ms D. play on a coed team where she's the only girl, and the shortest person by at least four inches. She's great at getting the ball and learning dribbling, but oh, that basket is so high!
    Tagging along for the ride is E2. He's tall and skinny. He's Mr. M's kid. He has to at least try basketball, and see how he likes it. I think he'll be okay. He's in the middle of the pack, even though he has never played before. Don't see it replacing football as a first love, but hey, it's a sport. He likes sports.
   We do too, especially when it's our children playing them.

Mom's year in review

2011-12-31T22:52:00.000-06:00

This year brought a lot of changes in our family.

1) We moved. Finally. LOVE the house, want to grow older here, maybe not totally old, but definitely kids through school kind of old.

2) We started middle school with our oldest child. It was a rocky couple of months at first, but he got it figured out, mostly. It's amazing what can happen when the librarian threatens to pull his check out license.

3) Miss P started wearing glasses and kindergarten.   She's taken much more kindly to kindergarten than glasses.

4) Everything kind of "clicked." The kids can all dress themselves and get their own breakfast.   Feuds of the past have simmered down into cautious friendships. I had extra help over the summer, and fewer kids I needed help with.

5) Miss D has started participating in 'enchanted learning.' She seems to like it. When it dawned on her teacher we were "biblical" folks, she even switched her session so the kids there would be "more" like her. (One is all public school, the other has two Christian private schools and three public schools.)

6) This was Si Guy's last full year at home. I have very mixed feelings about August 2012. I have had a kid at home for the last 13, by then almost 14, years.

7) This year I started emphasizing purposeful exercise more. I've always been the park in the back lot gal, and walk whenever possible gal, and even take stairs as often as not. This year, I rediscovered my love of group exercise. It was my first time in a gym since our 11 year old was an infant.

8) Our kids getting old enough we can eat dinner alone, in a restaurant, three times. That is three more times than we went out alone in 2010. In a lot of ways, our marriage has just seemed to be a bit "deeper" this year.

9) E1 lost his appendix. After doing some research about celiac kids, this is not surprising. Now I just need to watch his tonsils. (Outside of that, he is, by far, my healthiest kid.)

10) Mr. M had a senior tacked on to his job title. He also received his own laptop for home use, and has been working a lot more from home ever since.

11) E2   might be experiencing the ugly dawn of adolescence, at the ripe old age of 9. On the up side, he definitely has grown leaps and bounds in the kitchen. His favorite channel is the Food Network. He's very "chefy" in how he thinks too.

12) Speaking of food, most of our kids are old enough now that they eat "adult" food with ease. Si Guy is our last holdout. He doesn't believe in greens or proteins outside of peanut butter, yogurt, cheese, and hot dogs. Still, with the increased flexibility of the masses, we've taken our kitchen to places it hasn't been before. Our oldest had us exploring different ways to cook brussel sprouts, and requested artichokes.

and my favorite places of 2011

1) TRADER JOE'S. Affordable organic at last!

2) Farmers Markets. We love them. Thank you for the best sweet potatoes I've ever eaten, and kohlrabi.

3) Lake Park, in Lewisville TX. No playground, but the view of the lake, electric sites, and indoor plumbing is worth it! Our kids are happy to play with balls, books, and dirt.

4) Local parks. I love having several playgrounds within reasonable distance. From the "town" at Antioch Park to the merry-go-round and tunnel park on Nall, to the various themed parks in Shawnee, we are blessed.

5) Cinemark, Merriam: Matinee 3D movies for less than a regular movie at AMC. It's a comfy theater to be in too, clean, and wide enough seats.

6) Hy-vee: My twenty-four hour, go to grocery. Especially true since they've expanded their health market.

7) Barnes and Noble: With the closing of Borders, it's the next best thing for a bibliophile who likes to hold a book in her hands and flip through the pages before she buys it.

8) Avenue: I'm a big girl. I appreciate a store dedicated to letting me be happy with my clothes at a non-guilt inducing price. Cute accessories too!

9) Plaza: Always have loved it, the character, art shows, christmas lights, fountains....and more.

10) Really it's one: Our house! It's so nice to have a home that feels like "home."

Let there be peas on earth, and carrots and brocolli

2011-12-21T21:04:00.002-06:00

Todays Christmom carol:

Let there be peas on earth,
and carrots and bro-col-li
Let there be seeds to plant
In fresh tur-ned ground come spring.
With God as our father
And seed catalogs for me
Let there peas on earth
and carrots and broc-ol-li.

Let there be seeds in earth
and windows in early spring
Fresh tomatoes getting their start
And peppers next to the laun-dr-y
With God as our father
Grow organically
Let there be seeds in earth
and windows in early spring.

Princess P & I talk about boobies.

2011-12-16T08:32:00.001-06:00

"Mom. you need to comb my hair!" exclaims Miss P as she rounds the corner into my room where I'm still dozing.
"rrf? shrr. k. I'm up. I'm up."
"It's okay mom.I'll let you get dressed first. You need to put on that thing that holds up your boobies. "
"Gee. thanks."
"It's okay mom. As you get o'der, they start to fall down. Wow, you're boobies are big."
"Yeah, well, I keep hoping they'll start to shrink, but they haven't done that yet."
"No, that's when you get old, like Grandma. Hey, why are you putting that white stuff on there. Ohhh, that's right powder keeps your fat dry."
"Uh-huh. So I don't get infections and nasty red marks under there. You had to do this too when you were a baby, because of all the folds in your neck and legs."
"I did?"
"Yup."
"And when I grow up, I'll need to protect my boobies."

And that, is what sex ed for a five year old looks like.

Neighbors, friends and family...lean your ear this way

2011-12-15T12:22:00.001-06:00

Today's carol is based off Jolly Old Saint Nicholas. Charities always depend on this season to carry them through the year. So, this is just a reminder that we are the ones who meet the need.

Neighbors, friends and family
Lean your ear this way
Share with friends and neighbors dear
Every word i say
Christmas Eve is coming soon
Can you lend a hand
Love your neighbor all year through
Help them as you can.

Johnny needs a pair of shoes
Suzy needs a bed
Nelly wants a family home
to be warm and fed.
We are here to help them
know love instead of fear
Fill their empty stomachs
Wipe away their tears

As for me and my house
We are more than blessed
We have friends and family
Time to work and rest.
Let us fill a kettle
Let us spread some joy
Let us bring peace and hope
to every girl and boy.

Santa Mom is shopping right now....

2011-12-14T12:05:00.001-06:00

chorus:
You better help out.
You better not whine.
You'd better not pout.
I'm telling you why.
Santa Mom is shopping, right now.

She's making a list, and checking it twice.
She always knows who's naughty and nice.
Santa mom is shopping right now.

She sees you when you're sleeping
She knows that your awake
The random giggling upstairs
Is a dead giveaway.

So you..
(back to chorus)

She has a list of receipts
From each and every store
So whether you get DVDS
or socks, the choice is yours.

(back to chorus)

What does shopping at multiple stores really save you?

2011-12-14T11:34:00.000-06:00

Well, to start with...I have to anyway. So much of what we eat is brand specific, or our quality standard for x product is only at one store...so it is what it is.
That said, making a list of sale items from each store does save us quite a bit. Let's look at this week's ads.
A big part of my multi-store reasoning is meat. I rarely buy less than 6-8 pounds at a time. Full price boneless skinless chicken breasts $2.99-3.99lb
     If I go to Apple Market this week, 1.69lb. Given I buy about 8# of these a month, that's a minimum of $10.40 off my grocery bill. They aren't on sale anywhere else anywhere near that price. They also have 8# bags of potatoes for 1.99, .99 dozen eggs, and .99 canned pumpkin. It also makes it convenient to head to a MO side of state line gas station to save me .06 a gallon on gas on my 30+ gallon gas tank in my van. BUT, I would never do all my shopping at Apple Market. Their milk is almost $5 a gallon...which leads me back to ALDI.
      Aldi has 1.99 gallon milk. The cheapest milk I've seen anywhere else is 2.99 g. We go through 2-3 gallons of milk a week, roughly 12 gallons a month. So on milk alone, we save a minimum of $12 a month at ALDI. Their rice happens to be my favorite kind, but it only saves us about .40 on 2lbs. Their canned pineapple cannot be beat for price or flavor. Their produce is hit and miss. Sometimes great stuff for very cheap, but sometimes scary. Their 1.49 lb ground turkey rolls are one of our non-sale meats we rely on, but I will pay the extra for ground beef on sale to make Mr. Man happy, so that means this time I'll probably have to go across the street to Price Chopper.
     Price Chopper has the ground beast Mr. Man likes at 1.99lb, and the reason I can afford it is the money I saved on milk and chicken elsewhere. It also has fairly reliable produce at decent prices. This week it's 1.29lb apples, 1.99 whole pineapple, and .79lb sweet potatoes. Our bonus items are the 2.49 name-brand oil(usually 3.50ish, generics smoke more and have stronger flavor), and 1.69 brown sugar, (which 2.19 is the next cheapest for C&H.)
   I usually need to go to Wal-Mart for a few things, like paper plates (cheaper than ALDI,) soy milk boxes for lunches ( about $2 a week savings), the yogurt the boys will eat, (about 1.20 a week in savings), some cereal, (about 1.50 a box difference on the ones we get there, unless on sale w/ coupon somewhere else)....
    Throw in the stuff we have to get at Sams, like canned diced tomatoes,dishwasher,detergent,etc. Then I really have to hit Hy-vee or WHole foods too because of their gluten free selections, and you can see how I easily end up at about five stores within 24 hours. This is also why we coordinate our main shopping to be every other week.
    If I could shop at just one store, it would probably be Hy-vee. The 1.69 chicken breasts would be 3.99. They eggs would be 1.99 for 18 on sale. The rice about .50 more. The milk, $4 a gallon. The potatoes, 2.49 for 5 lbs, so to get 8# I'd have to buy 10# for $5. Oil, about 3.49, brown sugar 2.19. The soy milk boxes would be about $8 more for the month. The cereal, $2 more a box, at least $10 a month. The yogurt, about $1.50 more a week or $6 a month. So the monthly payment for just one store?   Well, let's just say milk alone would be $25 a month more. Just the milk pays for gas.

What Child is this?

2011-12-13T17:27:00.003-06:00

I think every mother has those moments when we just can't believe who are our kids are, in a good way. Some of my favorite what child? in this house...

What child is this who dices the veggies for dinner every Tuesday?
What child is this who reads the same story at least ten times to Si Guy?
What child is this who chooses to work with Cubbies every Sunday?
What child is this who chooses to share their thoughts with everybody?
What child is this who has learned to switch the laundry?
What child is this who shares their giggles and hugs so freely?
What child is this who gets up early every morning?
What child is this who keeps his room organized so neatly?
What child is this who draws cute cards for grandma and mommy?

These are my kids. I need to give them a little more laud a little more often.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas!

2011-12-12T18:57:00.003-06:00

     My daughter, being much more sensible, merely wants a unicorn.
     Hippo is my favorite non-faith based Christmas song by far. It catches all the whimsy, imagination, and "logic" of children. This kid has a solution for everything: the door, the bath, feeding... She's very driven to achieve her goal too.
     It also catches the exasperation of parenting a creative, bright, child. These kids have their "facts" down, and are goal driven, and convinced they on how right they are, all the time.    It's just their reality is a little different than ours, because if they can envision it, why can't it be real?
Hanging on to our hippos gets harder as we get older.   Fortunately, I got mine for Christmas a couple years ago...thanks to Kohls, a husband with a sense of humor, & caring kids.

The twelve days of baking

2011-12-11T22:35:00.001-06:00

On the first day of baking my best friend made with me,
meringues with hazelnut coffee.
On the second day of baking my best friend made with me,
two dozen mints, and
meringues with hazelnut coffee
On the third day of baking, my best friend made with me
three layer cakes
two dozen mints
and meringues with hazelnut coffee
On the fourth day of baking, my best friend made with me
four dozen spritz
three layer cakes
two dozen mints
and meringues with hazelnut coffee
On the fifth day of baking, my best friend made with me
Fi-ive kinds of FUDGE.
four dozen spritz
three layer cakes
2 dozen mints
and meringues with hazelnut coffee.
On the sixth day of baking, my best friend made with me,
six dozen buckeyes
Fi-ive kinds of FUDGE.....(4,3,2,..and meringue with hazelnut coffee)
On the seventh day of baking, my best friend made with me
seven layer cookies,
six dozen buckeyes
Fi-ive kinds of FUDGE....
On the eighth day of baking, my best friend made with me
eight dozen caramels
seven layer cookies.....(6,5,4etc.)
On the ninth day of baking, my best friend made with me...
nine trips to Hy-vee, (8,7,6....)
On the tenth day of baking my best friend made with me...
ten dozen linzers, (9,8,7...)
On the eleventh day of baking, my best friend made with me....
eleven licorice ropes, (10,9,8,etc.)
On the twelfth day of baking, my best friend made with me
twelve dozen stuffed dates, (11,10,9)

The race? the triconfecta. The prize: date w/ Mr. M

2011-12-07T23:50:00.001-06:00

     This Saturday night, Mr. Man has agreed to go to an adults only party with me. I spent today planning what to take for our dish, and I decided on a tri-confecta of sweets.

So our finalists are:
    *candied lime & ginger, super easy and looks pretty.
My thoughts are to make the ginger first, using Alton Browns recipe off the Food Network site, take some of reserved liquid, and hope there's enough ginger flavor in it to infuse in the lime slices while they cook.
If that doesn't work, I'll take some of the finished product, and grate/mince it, then mix with the sugar to coat the limes. Maybe I'll do both. I may need more limes. Stay tuned.
    *Candy cane meringues
This is a pretty standard recipe. I sourced it from allrecipes.com. E1 is very excited about these. They're cookies he can eat without being different than everyone else.
    *Mr. Man's caramels, from a fabulous recipe on tasteofhome.com He made these tonight, a batch for home and a batch for the party. I'll have to hide the party batch before bed.

Honorable Mentions:
    *Martha Stewart's peppermint icicles: In a lot of ways, I would rather make this than the meringue. Visions of 300+ degree sugar and a curious four year old stopped me. There are years ahead for me to try those kinds of candies when it's only my skin at risk of being melted.
   *Taste of Home's 2 layer peppermint fudge: Only one kind of tricky recipe per mom event please. Besides, this is too close in texture to the caramels, and those were my bribe to get Mr. Man to go!

It was only at pick up today, describing it to my kids, I realized two out of three final recipes are something everyone in my house can eat. The third one is my husband's favorite candy in the world, and it, too, is at least gluten free. It just shows how when we change our actions, how we think can change too.

Yes today went much better, thanks.

2011-12-06T17:35:00.001-06:00

Today is the first "normal" day I've had since E1's appendectomy. Mr. Man went to the office. I didn't have a to-do list for outside events a mile long. The bathroom and kitchen got some attention, and so did Si guy! My littlest man didn't watch tv for an entire day. It was fabulous. Even more fabulous is he took a bath without having to be hog-tied first.
I even enjoyed the car line today.
Most of the stuff I was upset about yesterday got resolved, more or less. A lot of things are just perspective. You can't expect a frog to be a cat.

There are times I am tempted to use this blog like a teen rage page

2011-12-05T16:56:00.001-06:00

This last week was one of them.
It's hard to confront a friend about a path that's going to lead them to pain, and have them pretty much cover their ears and tell them they don't agree or care. The thing is, I've seen this path with others before. Heck, I've walked this path before. It doesn't go anywhere good. It may look good for a while, but eventually, something or someone will snap and the whole system collapses.
It's hard to lose a friend because my personality is so intense. I'm pretty sure I did that recently too, in the same circle.
Apparently, I alienated these people a while ago, because out of one side of their mouth they say "we appreciate what you do"
and the other they say "but please keep your opinions, passions, and personality to yourself."
On one side they say "Here, let us give you a hand up through a tough time." but on the other "Let's erase any acknowledgement that we ever trusted you with anything."
On one side they say "We like you. Really." On the other, " You're not worth spending time with, but don't worry. You're still included. You'll still hear us talking about the great times we have together and see the pictures. We're your friends. We just can't be seen with you."
It's high school all over again. It's not like I liked it the first time.
Why don't I just walk away? Because these people do great things for the people I care about most. I would let myself be drawn and quartered if it guaranteed the success of my family. Sometimes, to be a part of great good, there's great pain. People you love hurt you way more than people you don't care about.

Friday confession: I love Black Friday.

2011-11-25T18:51:00.001-06:00

   There's a lot of reasons why. These are just my observations, but to be fair they're probably skewed. I don't go to places that hand out vouchers, and that certainly helps. So don't be a humbug. Hear me out.
     There is a kinship amongst the shoppers on Black Friday. Outside, people turn to the people behind them in line and start talking while they wait. They share about their families, their homes, and their friends. They make excuses for themselves being out at indecent hours. They compare the QT coffee to McD's. Then the doors open.
   The line proceeds forward, and the group dissipates. In the stores, the great kinship of crazies continues. Moms divide their teens into store sections. Wives lend out their husbands to reach high objects. People give directions to where they've "seen" the deals. Some people loan their cart space to those with heavy loads in line. I can almost hear "It's the most wonderful time of the year" in muzac in the background.
   Then there's the deals. Hunters of all ages and sizes are out and about.
   Some people are big game hunting. They want the deal, the one deal that beats all deals at competing stores. They're the ones waiting in line several hours ahead to save hundreds of dollars or get "the" toy at the rock bottom price.
     Others are hunting greater quantities of specific smaller game. They start with a list, and work their way through the stores in a methodical fashion. They have the areas they need to be "first", because they like to do their giving with a theme. They need ten of those bath sets that are 75% off.
    Another category of hunters are those who start w/ recipients, a budget, and a general category/store they like. It's more like snaring than shooting. Sometimes you win big. Sometimes you don't get anything at all, except some time alone and a look at the better side of man....and an excuse to nap in the afternoon while your husband wrestles the Christmas tree.

I have nothing cute or funny to say about last week.

2011-11-15T06:32:00.001-06:00

   Those of you who know us are aware that last week, boy child #2 had his appendix removed. The bad news, it was ruptured, so a one port forty-five minute procedure took ninety minutes and three ports. The good news? He's recovering with amazing speed, and really only had one "terrible" day.   The even-more-good news:
I am amazed at how supportive our school was, and the people we know from there: A gift card to the cafeteria/gift shop from PTA to keep me fed and him entertained, his best buddy visiting with books he hadn't read yet, a gift card to Whole Foods, which set us up once we got home, balloons and a model plane to help try to keep him down once his brain engaged again. Our school friends are fabulous.
Crisis moments always make me love my husband more. I swear he's a better wife than I am. While I was cross stitching, playing Wii, and hanging out at the hospital, the house was clean, the laundry caught up, and the kids fed. When we arrived home, he already had the bed made on the couch. He didn't even call off our part-time before school friend so he had an extra kid two mornings at 5:45 a.m.
   I am also grateful for my FB friends, their support keeping my phone dinging from replies on my wall and private messages.
   So to all of you, thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you.

It's COOKIE time!

2011-11-08T11:10:00.003-06:00

This year, girl scout cookies are already in stock. This made me start brainstorming for "new" holiday recipes for us. I haven't searched the official site, so if these are already there, sorry official GS peeps. I'm just a mom with two girl scouts who are expected to sell about 140 boxes each. Here are my thoughts so far. (Not tested yet.)

Winter Tropics Pie

Smoosh Caramel Delights and mix w/ melted butter. Press into pie pan for crust and chill. Into Chilled crust, place a layer of thin, sliced banana. Add vanilla or coconut pudding, made per box directions. Top w/ whipped cream. Garnish w/ candied pineapple, toasted coconut, and or caramel drizzle.

Chocolate Candy Cane Pie

Smoosh Thin Mints and mix w/ melted butter and chill. Put a thin layer of fudge topping between crust and other fillings. Add chocolate pudding, made per box directions. Top w/ whipped cream and Andes mints or mini candy canes or round mints.....)

Another thought is to use above thin mint crust for a cheesecake base with a no-bake cheesecake recipe. I think shortbread cookies or even the lemonades would work well for that too. We could make a real cheesecake w/ shortbreads for the base. At camp, we used smooshed shortbreads for cobbler topping and it was sooooo good. The Thanks-a-lots and Lemonades are larger round, shortbreads. I bet they'd make good ice cream sandwiches. Use peppermint ice cream w/ the chocolate, and swirl some sweetened cranberry puree in with vanilla for the lemon.

Of course, they are girl scout cookies. Who really needs recipes? For those who hate to bake, they just got their ticket to the cookie exchange.

I'm occupying my chair.

2011-11-06T13:10:00.001-06:00

I've spent a fair amount of time the last few weeks reading about various political/enconomic opinions, both from Occupy KC and from the more conservative end. So this is not an "about kids" post. Economics, health care,etc. are issues that affect my children though, so I like to be informed and when the time comes vote accordingly.
An article I read yesterday stated that "15 states had a surplus." http://news.yahoo.com/amid-deficit-gloom-states-enjoy-surpluses-160127940.html
What I would like is to find another, more detailed article listing all fifteen of these states and what they have in common. Some of the individual measures they've taken are kind of disturbing, but surely there are others that are not, and those will likely be repeating themes. Then, when reforming our national economic policy consider whether these measures would be feasible on a larger scale. If there are sacrifices included we don't think we should make, then we'll have to look at solutions like tax increases. I'm 99% sure that any realistic solution will include both substantial program cuts and tax increases.
When it comes to health care I have similar thoughts. There are already systems in place that works quite well for federal and state employees, and military retirees, and such. Why not look at these functional systems, and find ways to expand them instead of reinventing the wheel? At least it would be a place to start.

Who am I, mom?

2011-11-05T01:36:00.003-05:00

    Well son, that's for you to decide. Tonight instead of E1's class, they had the privilege of watching the Kansas City Youth Ballet dress rehearsal for their performance tomorrow night. He really loved it, the leaps, the lines, the music....but I suspect dance may be heading the same direction baseball did a few years ago. He'll be a fan, but it doesn't mean he wants to be a player anymore.
   He knows he "can" do it. That's not the issue this time. The issue is "does he want to work that hard at this."
    He already works hard at school, and takes great pride in his work. He knows education is important, and strives to do his best.
   He works at playing his cello. He loves that thing. He takes pride in it. He can do something beautiful with it without necessarily being center stage. It is it's own reward, and doesn't suck so much time out of his life that he can't do other things.
      That what he's contemplating about dance right now. In order to excel, he'd have to work not just at the dancing itself, but building up his strength and flexibility. He also would have to be more comfortable being watched and to trust those around him more; it's really hard for an introvert to put himself out there that far. He'd have to learn to let go of some of his perfectionism. He'd have to have a thicker skin about peer opinion. He knows these are good things, but are they good enough to get up earlier every morning? Are they worth the cost in time & pain? Is there another, gentler, avenue he could learn these things from?
     These are not questions I can answer for him. He has to decide what he wants, and what he's willing to "pay" for it. All I can do is be there for him, no matter what he decides.

Last weekend we took a risk.

2011-11-05T01:04:00.000-05:00

    I let E1 go to a birthday party with pizza. It was the first time I'd let him go someplace like that since kindergarten. He didn't eat the pizza in first grade, but still got sick. It took him months to fully bounce back.
     I had heard that in middle childhood, preadolescence, sometimes kids like him were less sensitive. This seemed to be true. He had managed a couple of carefully managed paper plate, good hand-washing carryout pizza at the end of the party parties just fine, so maybe we could stretch it a little further..So we took the plunge. He did do better. It only took about a week for him to bounce back.
      No, he did not eat the pizza, or the cupcakes. He brought his own food. It was just from the grease being spread around and probably picked up on his hands which wiped his face...you get the idea.   He had all the hallmark symptoms of being "glutened" Sunday and Monday.     He almost stayed home from school Monday he felt so bad, but it was Halloween and I was his room parent. He did stay home Monday night, when he had previously planned to go to another party or trick or treat with his siblings to get them extra candy and earn himself a trade, like picking out a bag of marshmallows. He hurt. He was tired. He was socially sensitized out.
    In the midst of all this, I made a judgement call. I reverted back to the no high-cross contamination foods in his environment policy. The experiment from the weekend had failed. This meant no powdered cheese coatings and no greasy gluten essentially.   I don't mind cookies and cupcakes, but I draw the line at cheese chips (does that stuff ever really get off your hands?) and on-site beginning of party pizza.   When he's already down, no sense in kicking him again, especially in an environment he had no control over being in, like the school party.   Yes, some parents thought I was nuts and overprotective. Others, soothed my nerves and came to my aid, reminding me I had nothing to be sorry for.
I don't always have such blatant examples, but despite having the disability form from his doctor, and third party testimonials from past accidental incidents from people like teachers and preschool directors, I deal with these attitudes of "let him be normal" or "find a balance. A little exposure couldn't possibly matter that much" or "how can food change a kid's personality?" so many times I've lost count. There's pressure from other parents, family members, and well meaning friends to "not be so diligent."    But caving to that pressure gave me a sick kid last weekend, who didn't find himself fully again until Thursday.   There's a reason we have different pans and utensils for GFDF food at home after all.

I'm a turkey hugger.

2011-11-04T01:15:00.000-05:00

      I love direct deposit. I stalk grocery stores as soon as the paycheck hits the bank. Tonight, the most important place on my moonlight list was Hy-vee. 88 cent a dozen eggs and 2.99lb boneless ham w/ free Honeysuckle turkey made this an exciting hunt.
   I arrive to prowl the produce. No decent pears left. I'll come back early morning Saturday and try again. I score some cheap applesauce. I round back to the meat department and get the 1.77lb boneless,skinless chicken breasts & .99lb chicken thighs. Then I turn to hit the "meat specials" case. They had the wrong brand of turkey.
     For most families this is a "so what" moment.
     For mine, it's an " arrrgh, how many flippin Hy-vees am I going to have to stalk" moment.   This is the curse of having food related allergies and chronic illnesses. The wrong brand just won't do. It has a gravy packet already contaminating the bird. It has artificial coloring. It may have MSG. Bad news bird indeed.
      I huff and puff my way through the rest of my short list. Miracle of miracles they had the Udi bread for E1. The cheap eggs were still there...but they're out of a couple other items I was looking for as well.   I grouse my way back to my car and head an entire mile or two southward to Hy-vee #2.
    I really wasn't that hopeful walking in the door, but I had to know. I raced to the back of the store and behold, a dazzling array of turkeys in the correct brand, in fine, non-frosted but still frozen condition. I was so excited I grabbed the perfect turkey and hugged it. I guess it doesn't take much to get me excited these days. Here's hoping I'm as successful when I go on the prowl for our Thanksgiving Tom in a couple weeks.    Worst comes to worst I'll cook two free hens. Now I know where to find them I'm truly grateful.

It's November!

2011-11-02T09:07:00.000-05:00

   The first thing I'm thankful for is that Halloween is over, and went smoothly. This year Mario stayed home, a red shiny skulled skeleton handed out candy, and I took Darth Vader, the mystery glow-in-the-dark-butterfly-masked princess, Snow White, and Spiderman trick or treating. The weather was perfect! Maybe a little too perfect. It was an 1.5 hours before their legs were tired enough to head home.
     Once home we sorted through their loot, collected a 2 piece of candy per child parent tax, a one piece of candy per child big brother tax, allowed them some time to eat their favorites, and put the rest of in a gallon zip-lock bag with their name on it.   This candy is their treat food for the month of November, 2 pieces per lunch.
    We turned off the porch light, and skeleton boy came in. He hadn't suffered too much with his portable DVD player outside with him. He said only one kid was too scared of him, or maybe his pet skeleton Sheldon, to take candy from the bowl.   Everyone rounded out the evening with hot chocolate and was off to bed.
   So what's the second thing I'm grateful for? It is November 2nd now after all. I'd have to say the extra down time we have for most of November. It's kind a lull in kids sports and school activities, so we get to breathe for a bit...even spend a weeknight at home once in a while. With six kids, down time is always something to be grateful for.

Orange Pumpkin, (orange pumpkin)....

2011-10-30T11:04:00.002-05:00

     Probably my favorite preschool song from the past is "orange pumpkin" sung to the tune of "are you sleeping, farmer john".

     Orange Pumpkin, orange pumpkin
     Soon you'll be, soon you'll be
     a smiling jack-o-lantern, a smiling jack-o-lantern
      just for me, just for me.

     Yesterday we were carving our smiling jack-o-lanterns, or coloring depending on the age of the child. I'm not sure what's scarier, a nine year old with a carving saw or a 4 year old with sharpies.
     The youngest three had a ball. Si Guy put green stripes down the creases of his pumpkin. Miss P made a work of abstract scribble art with all the colors of the forbidden markers. Miss D painted a "scene"....a purple unicorn drinking out of a lake. The blue marker made a muddy lake on the orange pumpkin. Maybe next year I'll get her a white pumpkin.
      The Ethanator went the scary route, multiple eyes, noses, and a few less teeth than he originally planned. Funny how those things change when you're doing your own carving. E1 did your classic, kitchy, smiley pumpkin face. Our oldest had scout and homework stuff, so he's carving his today.
     It turns out E1 is recarving his today too, because who knew squirrels liked pumpkin?! So his non-scary pumpkin now looks a little zombie like with scratches and one eye chewed out.   He was at a party when the fat, bushy-tailed invader struck. We pulled into our driveway to see the culprit at work, perched on top and chewing away.   His siblings took squirrel sentry duty for the rest of the evening for their "pumpkin protection patrols." While grateful for his siblings efforts, he didn't care for the um, improvements....so he's redoing his today.

Breathe.

2011-10-24T16:25:00.002-05:00

Yes I'm breathing. That sums up today pretty well. This weekend was the last game for E2's football & Miss P's green eagles. Both kids had good seasons. E2's last game was a tie. Princess P's team learned how to kick the ball the right direction. Sports are a wrap. I'm kind of sad, kind of relieved. Things slow down for a bit, but it never quite stops.
* We still have Friday night dance class w/ E1.
* There's a choir festival November 1.
* Our oldest has been cast as Othello in I Hate Shakespeare.
* There's a science project due in November. Lasers and gelatin and teens oh my.
* There's still scouts and AWANA and kids choir at church.
* Then there's the other category: parties, field trips, the grocery store gauntlet.
This weekend was sports, kidz world, and shopping. Tonight we have scouts. Today I drove a kid to school, ran the dishwasher, did two loads of laundry, swept/picked up the living room, cleaned a bathroom, played at the park, picked up my other kids, and crashed at the computer in between...because some days just breathing is good.

Happy Birthday to Spike!

2011-10-22T09:12:00.002-05:00

     That's our eldest child's self selected nickname. I find it funny because it doesn't reflect his personality at all, except possibly in a mario-type dino character kind of way.   When I think of our oldest, I think funny, cuddly, companion...not hedgehog. Maybe Sonic is where he got the nickname from.
     Yesterday, I became the parent of a resident teen. I'm so glad I get to experience the teen years with a laid back kid first.   I'm also glad he's letting me get away with it being a minor event amongst the overly busy fall schedule this year. It's not necessarily out of the kindness of his heart, given what he's scheming for next year, but elaborate rube goldberg type plans are what adolescence is made of.
      I love this kids heart. He literally jumps at the opportunity to serve. He's volunteered w/ Boy Scouts, PTA, and our church. His first youth trip was a service missions trip that he earned by selling $1 food at Old Shawnee days. It involved sleeping on a tile floor, wasp spray, and a lot painting. His regular volunteer activities both involve working with younger children. He's a den chief with scouts and a preschool volunteer with AWANA. He really gets our family theme of "a heart to God and a hand to man."
    I love that, despite being a teen, he still is very open about his affection for us. The other night I quipped at him "What am I, a pillow?" as he was headbutting his way under my arm on the couch.
"Yes, you're the pillow and Dad's the mattress." hee hee, was his reply.
   His Dad, the mattress. This tiny baby that slept on Dad's chest, and nowhere else if Dad was anywhere in sight, who loved his crib gym and almost never cried. That baby is thirteen? Really?
Really. I couldn't be prouder.

So what do you guys eat anyway?

2011-10-18T21:21:00.000-05:00

     This is a common question.   To a lot of people, preparing gluten free, soy free, dairy free, meals seven days a week seems impossible. Really it's not. It's just something we get used to. It does mean the days of frequent fast food and "convenience" foods are loooong gone though. Let's look at this last week of dinners though. I think you'll see we're a lot more "normal" than you thought.
     Tonight, brisket braised in draft cider w/ roasted carrots, salad and mashed potatoes. (Mashed potatoes we split up and do some non-dairy and some w/ milk.) Snack tonight was baked apples stuffed w/ cranberries.
    Yesterday I made my version of sweet 'n sour and served it with rice. It's not breaded and doesn't have ketchup in it, so it's not anything like a chinese restaurant...but it is tasty. ( peppers, carrots, onion, garlic, w/ pineapple chunks in juice, w/ ginger as the predominant spice. Throw in some brown sugar and either lemon or orange juice. Beyond that, it varies. This time it featured chicken and coriander. Sometimes it's a dash of clove & red pepper flakes w/ pork, etc.)
     Sunday I didn't make dinner. We had a pot luck lunch at church & I took taco meat w/ diced tomatoes & black beans, and all the other stuff for taco salad.
     Saturday we were without a few kids, so we broke the rules & had pizza. Doesn't happen often though, and yes, I paid for it dearly.
     Friday night we had company, so we had tacos.
    Thursday was lemony chicken spinach artichoke heart sautee.
    Wednesday we had smoked sausage skillet. (Cajun seasoning, rice, tomatoes, onion, smoked sausage, green pepper, kidney beans, broth)
We also eat spaghetti, burgers, meatloaf, and breakfast for dinner. We love our grill.   Our family is far from starving. I'm rarely bored with what I cook. That's because of instead of focusing on what we can't have, we enjoy what we can.
Does it work? Most of the time.
Are there times it's frustrating? Sure. Especially when money is extra-tight. We can't live on ramen and mac and cheese for a week. Not because we don't want to, but because we really can't! That means that we have to sacrifice other parts of our budget so the food money is there. So sometimes a haircut gets postponed, like two months. Isn't that what hats and pony tails are for?
Overall, we eat well, even if it is different. Compared to Hamburger helper and mac & cheese, I think different is good.

On to high school auditions at 11?

2011-10-15T10:28:00.000-05:00

     Today boy child number two is auditioning for the main stage musical at my Alma Mater, with the same drama teacher that was my drama teacher when I was there, and the same choir director I was under in Chorale and Lyric while I was there. Somehow, this makes me feel like I'm in high school again...but this time it's not about me.
    I'm having those same stupid adolescent fears and insecurities for my child, maybe so he won't feel them. Maybe it's because I remember crashing and burning at auditions....and I know he doesn't take failure well.   So why let him go?
    Well, first of all, because he wants to. He wants to enough to give up mathletics, even though he's really good at math and wins/places regularly. He wants to more than he wants to be on safety patrol after school. He's willing to give up six to ten hours a week of recreational time for it. If he wants it that badly, then I feel he deserves the chance.
    Secondly, his choir teacher referred him...and only one other kid from his class was referred. She wouldn't set him up to fail. She's been teaching him music since kindergarten & directed a play with him in it. She knows his talents, downfalls, and quirks. I don't think she'd set him up to fail. I have to trust her.
   And lastly, because he is good, and whether he succeeds or fails doesn't change that. An audition is a single moment, a snapshot. Sometimes it's your best. Sometimes not. He's already proven his performance abilities in other venues, and I can use those successes to bolster him if he doesn't succeed here. And if he does succeed here, then I know I've succeeded in raising a child who's better than me.

How a 10 minute errand turns into 3 hours.

2011-10-12T09:48:00.003-05:00

Yesterday as I was doing some cleaning, (yes it happens on occasion), I decided we needed a new tablecloth. Part of my sanity preservation plan is we don't use real tablecloths. We use el cheapo flannel backed vinyl ones from our favorite local store. I checked my cabinet I keep my reserves in, and it was empty.
"C'mon Si. We need to go to stuff-mart."
"Yeeahahahah! Stuff-mart!"
"Sure."
First is the great shoe hunt.
"I want to wear THESE!" declares the four year old boy in pink princess snow boots.
"Sorry bud, you could if we were going in the car, but we're walking...remember?"
So the great shoe hunt commences. After locating the appropriate shoes and getting them on his feet, we head outside.
"SCOOTER!"
"Fine, but you have to wear a helmet." So he puts on his sister's purple helmet w/ pink flowers. Good enough. We're just going to stuff-mart after all. He then proceeds to scooter up and down the driveway while I find my wallet.
Finally, we're on our way, but so is a playground. Eventually, we get to the store.
"Si, you have to leave your scooter outside. Right here."
"K. No one will take it?"
"I don't think anyone is going to take a four year olds scooter and helmet. It's not a twenty-year-old's bike."
"K"
Inside the store...."Halloween! Trick or treat." So yes, we have to look at every aisle in the holiday section. That's okay. I found something I needed for the yard.
Then we proceed to home goods, and Si Guy picks us a new table cloth. Mission accomplished...except mom remembers the new Rick Riordan book has been released, so we head to the books/magazines. On the opposite side of the aisle is greeting cards...
"Look, Halloween!"
"Yes..now put them back."
By the time we get out of stuff-mart it's time for lunch. So we walk/scoot over to the Bell. We eat inside, and then it's time to head home, walking by the police station and the park on the way.
Once home, I get littlest man set up on the computer and the new tablecloth on the table, and wonder why I didn't get more done that day.

Late Start

2011-10-06T11:54:00.002-05:00

     Today is a late start day for middle school.   It's too bad they can't start at 10:45 every day, because my child is a much more sociable human being at this hour. On the drive to school today, we were discussing his "review of literature" that's due in honors science tomorrow.
     "So, have you started writing it yet?"
     "Uh, no."
      "Where are the rest of your notes? You're not going to get three pages out of that."
     "I haven't finished researching yet."
Ah, yeah. Well....is this poor parenting that I'm letting him fall flat on his face?
Maybe.
"So, what can we do differently next time? Do you think working out a time-line when the project is assigned would help?"
    "Yeah. Maybe. I'm just not any good at researching."
    "That's not true! What about Nils? That mythology assignment?"
    "BUT I had like, fifteen sources for that!"
    "That you found yourself. You researched all those Norse gods and monsters because you were interested in them. You found something that drove you to do it, and you did it well."
    "But,...."
    "No buts. You did the same thing with your hero report. Einstein?"
*Kid smiles sheepishly, looking a little pink around the ears.*
"No baby, it's not the skills you lack but motivation. You didn't pick a topic that drives you...and that's okay.    Let's just get through it. You don't have to be in honors science again next year if you don't want to."
    *Kid's eyebrows hit ceiling*
"But if you do want to, because you like doing experiments, you're going to have to learn to do the research too. If you really don't like scientific research, then you don't have to be a scientist, because research is the core of what science is."
     "Yeah, I know." Eye rolll...and was that a sigh of relief? He feels a lot of pressure to do well in science because there are a lot of science oriented people in our family. His grandparents run labs and teach science on the university level. I was pursuing a science related degree when I met his father. His dad has an engineering degree. Sometimes he needs a reminder it's okay just to be who he is, and to excel because he can and wants to, not because anyone expects him to.     I'm pretty sure that's what Einstein would tell him.

I don't speak car.

2011-10-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

     Today this lack of communication led to flashing lights, overheating, and a rumbling engine, not unlike an unexpected bout of PMS. We made it to the park where we were meeting friends and I popped the hood. It was out of coolant. There was nada in the reservoir, kind of like me when I run out of diet soda. I felt so much empathy towards my van I quickly dialed my valium, (husband). He appeared, my knight in shining Vibe w/ coolant in hand and refilled the reservoir.
     We had a fantastic play date with our friends on a perfect outdoor day. The kids got along splendidly. On the nature walk back to the van, I discovered Miss P is a budding naturalist. She brought a sack of drawing stuff and a notebook, and would plop down wherever she saw something interesting to "draw" it. Miss D and E2 were holding hands on the way back to the car. Everything seemed so ideal. It probably was the best day we'd had out in a long time.
     I started the car, and the drive towards home started off fine until I hit the same intersection the light came on at on the way to the park. Then the van started overheating, again. We managed to run the heat full blast and play engine on, engine off, long enough to get to the dealer that was just a few blocks away. Call that a God thing. My dh had chosen to work from home today, and our oldest had no school too, so we were able to transport home in shifts. Call that a God thing too. He must have known my reservoir was already empty.

Define productive.

2011-10-02T22:22:00.001-05:00

As per http://www.dictionary.com
adjective 1. having the power of producing; generative; creative:
     Lately I've been hung up on that word, productive. How much do I have to do in a day to be worthy of my status as a stay at home mom?   The thing is, who defines what is a productive activity anyway?
     I find spending a couple hours at the park with Si Guy very productive. I find spending some time coloring and talking about pictures with him productive too. Whereas, what is the generative or creative aspect of loading the dishwasher?
     I sometimes feel like we misuse the word productive, or only apply it by definition four:

4. Economics . producing or tending to produce goods and services having exchange value.

This is the heart of the matter right here. Almost every time I feel like I'm not "sufficient", it has to do with economics. What I do doesn't really have an "exchange" value, but that doesn't mean it's not productive. Playing with my kids, writing, home-making is very productive. That's why it's the first definition right?

Milestones

2011-09-27T12:21:00.000-05:00

My niece recently had a baby, and it got me thinking about milestones in parenting. How, when you have a new baby, there are books the size of dictionaries brimming with these miraculous achievements for their first year or two. We have first rolls, bites of food, words and steps. It all builds up to that all-important first day of "school", then what? It's not like parenting stops there. Potty parties and learning to write their name is just the beginning. There are so many other milestones that parents have to look forward to before the big D word, like.......
First organized sport on a competitive team. Sure sports are for fun, and yes the parents keep score even when certain leagues don't...but the first time the "officials" keep score, winning and losing become a factor. The kids know it. The parents know it. And if you're kid feels like he/she is the weakest link (whether or not that's true) you could be heading for...
First time they want to quit something you've paid for in advance. Should you let your kid quit baseball after the third game, because well, he hates it? I rented this tuba for a year, and you want to quit band because it's boring? Change instruments because it's too heavy? Talk about the great parenting mine field, where wherever you step someone is going to blow. It's almost as bad as the family bed(room) issue.
First time your kid makes a friend where you haven't bonded with the parents. Absolutely nerve wracking. Your precious baby always has been friends with your friends kids, and now they bring in an alien. Don't worry mom. You probably just picked up a friend too! This alien will almost always have a similar values system to your own...THAT milestone comes at a later date.
First standardized test scores. Relax, your child's 3rd grade MAP test isn't for college admission. Beware of this milestone with siblings. I just fell into that trap, going, ack only x%....then my husband reminded me it was a percentile, and the kid is still well above average.
First time they want their own phone. Yes this is separate from when they actually get their own phone...because well, we like screening their calls, and it takes a while for a mom to work through the emotions behind this and separate want from need...and then convince the kid to wait a couple more years. The idea of giving them that much freedom and privacy is absolutely terrifying....but then again, it's nice to have your own phone back too.
First time they need deodorant. I've only been here with a boy, so shaving is still a bit ahead of us, and thank goodness I have a while before the girls need bras and um, supplies., but the bottom line is, this is the "into to adolescent worries and attitudes" milestone. From here on out you will have adolescent worries intermingled with playing with hot wheels and legos. Your kid doesn't really know which world they fit in, and quite frankly, you don't either.
First day of middle school, or week..or month Yeah, this whole two years is going to need a post of it's own, later, once we've survived.

When a loss is a win.

2011-09-24T20:01:00.000-05:00

Today, even though the Jr. Indians lost as a team, they also won.
Today, no one grumbled about the refs.
Today there was no trash talking the other team.
Today, all the kids got almost equitable play.
Today, everyone paid attention, including my son. I even had two coaches tell me how well he played, and can continue to play IF he'll just pay attention. E2 is kind of a dreamy, distractible kid...kind of like his mom. Hence the I-35 to 69 to 435W back to I-35 route to get out there this morning.
Today was our day to bring snacks/gatorade for after the game, and there were no complaints.
After the game, in my forever directional impairedness, I went the west instead of east, so instead of going to Trader Joes, we ate lunch at a McD's with a playground. E2 and littlest man played nicely together. I think we'd all call that a win too.

Just another day with Si Guy

2011-09-19T14:38:00.000-05:00

Today has been a very amusing one. This morning we went to the "extreme thrift" store run by the school district. There, Si found a free "monkey." (It didn't have a tail, so it was really an ape, but HEY...he's four.) This monkey has all the colors of the rainbow, thus it was dubbed "rainbow monkey."
"Mom! Rainbow monkey has a BUTT!"
"So it does."
"Butt!!! Tee-hee. I like butts!" (Yep, he's four.)
"That's nice dear. It's okay for rainbow monkey to have a butt." (Um, hold that thought...something's wrong here.)
Repeat monkey butt comment at park...and then finally home to watch How to Train Your Dragon, twice.
There's a lot you can learn from a kid's movie.
This particular kids movie is about not making assumptions. (Yeah, there's that butt reference again. Seems to be the theme of the day.)
It's also about giving others a chance, and getting to know those who are different than yourself. There's even a message about trying new things, although I don't envy the dragon training kid. I don't think I'll ever like raw fish.
I just caught Si jumping on the couch.
"Don't jump on the couch Si."
"But Mo-om! I'm trying to fly!"
Never a dull moment.

Happy Birthday Danger Baby.

2011-09-16T11:09:00.000-05:00

There's something about the third one...especially if it's a boy. This is a common consensus among my mommy friends, that these boys tend to gravitate towards risk. So it was only natural that our theme for his birthday this year was "dragons." Specifically "How to Train Your Dragon." The book is already in the house, so we bought the movie and all the action figure sized toys. (They were on clearance under $1 each @ W-mart.) That gift just brought out the beauty of his nature. With the exception of Night Fury ,he shared every one of those dragons with his siblings. Toys are meant to be played with with friends after all.
He wanted lemon cake w/ lemon frosting. Check. Nothing fancy this time. He was totally fine with it. This morning, he checked to make sure Night Fury had his fire before school. Today, at W-mart...I saw a BIG Night Fury on clearance...but I didn't buy it. He doesn't need more. He's happy with what he has. That's a lesson many adults haven't learned yet, and hard as it is for me sometimes, sometimes it's best to just leave a good thing a good thing.

What a week!

2011-08-27T10:46:00.001-05:00

Ding! Week 2 of school has flown by...and the verdict is in. We are a nerd herd. Well okay, we all already knew that.
Miss P is settling into kindergarten okay. She still has moments of "enthusiasm", or just "not listening", but her intentions are good.
Miss D has found the green road & will hopefully stay on it. At first, she needed a reminder the teacher ran the class and not her, *and I got the *I never knew she could be so stubborn, but she's so cute and we just love her* talk.
E2 is well, himself. His teacher seems to be handling him well. He's bit a of a culture shock to her after having his two older brothers.
E1 has gone in headfirst. He wants to do strings, choir, mathletics, safety patrol,...and is presenting his EL project this week. There's a lot on that kids plate.
And then there's our oldest. Ahhh.
As if seventh grade isn't hard enough, being the first year of passing periods, lockers, and sooo many teachers....Poor #1 fell in the shower earlier this week and cut all the way through his lower lip. His stitches are right in that crack between the bottom of the chin and the start of the lip. He's getting them out today. With the stitches, his confidence wavered a bit. He couldn't bear being on the bus in the morning, so softie parents we are, we drove him to school the rest of the week. Yet somehow, by afternoon, everything was okay.
By the end of the week, I heard snippets about the librarian, the lunch room, who he sits with in class.
He showed me what he was reading, even if it wasn't my favorite material.
He shared his concerns about being too well known, and organization, and getting places on time.
He also shared his take on his teachers, how nice they were, how they put him at ease.
This whole experience reinforced his trust in the adults in his life, at a time when a lot of kids are starting to wonder.
It also makes me wonder, how long do we have to enjoy this closeness? Is it really possible to continue to be a parent and a friend to a teen? I hope so.

With the kids gone, I should be getting so much more done, right?

2011-08-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

Uh, maybe. Eventually. Right now it seems my head just can't get in the right space. Case in point, I posted the "launch" post in the wrong blog Monday.
Granted, the last two days were only half days for the older ones, and Miss P only had a classroom visit. Today is her first day, and it's also the first full day. Kids out the door by 8, and retrieve them around 3. Seven hours with minimal distractions. Seven hours with no fighting. Seven hours without dishes breeding everywhere. Seven hours to clean, write, and hang out with my four year old (not necessarily in that order.) Seven hours, every day, that seem to be floating along like a cloud on a windless day.
Si Guy is having a ball. He has the t.v., the sidewalk chalk, the computer, mom, everything for as long as he wants, when he wants it. What's not for a four year old to like?
Mr. M is very matter of fact, unflappable, and seems to accept the new world order. Life is progressing as it should. What's the big deal?
The big deal, is princess P has never been a group of more than twelve kids. She's never been away from family for more than half a day. She's never had to stand in a lunch line, keep track of homework, or any number of expectations that are suddenly in her world. Yet, she's not daunted. She's excited! She's ready. She's fine.
However, I'm spacey. I miss her chatter, her "help, and yes, even her arguing with Si Guy.....I miss how fast the time goes by with two kids, and the energy. I'll get used to it. I need to, because next year I won't even have one. They will all be gone.

Only 2 weeks until school starts...

2011-08-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

and reality is starting to dawn on all of us. New shoes, backpacks, and lunchboxes are lined up on one wall in my bedroom. All the kids have finished their summer camps and classes. Our oldest is getting serious about his summer homework.
Yes, at the ripe old age of 12 our son has three summer assignments from 2 classes, and unlike the "packets" in elementary school these assignments are not optional. If he turns them in on the second day of school instead of the first he only gets half credit.
This kid spent ten days at summer camp and a week on a missions trip. No time for homework there. He volunteered to help at vacation bible school. No time for homework there. He also spent four weeks with his grandparents, no homework there either.
Summer vacation is from Memorial day weekend-August 15. Since it started with a holiday weekend, that means "real time" started around May 31st this year. That means his entire summer break is eleven weeks. He volunteered,camped, and had other commitments for about 8 of those weeks. That left one week at the beginning of the summer and these two weeks at the end for visiting with his friends and homework.
Now don't get me wrong. I understand honors classes require extra time & effort. He does too. That's why he's not playing football this fall.
I understand the point of summer project planning, reading logs, and even requiring a book to be a particular category. What I don't understand, is requiring a specific book, especially one that is clearly oriented to one gender.
When they did sports statistics as math problems, everyone cried foul! How are girls supposed to be interested in that?
Well, explain to me then, how a normal 12 year old boy from a "traditional" family is going to be interested in a book like Define Normal. It's about 2 girls, peer counseling, and foster care. It is ALL about relationships, especially female relationships. Yes, we are supposed to stretch our perspectives...but how many of us took our sons to see The Joy Luck Club? I understand there aren't nearly as many boys in honors English as girls, but to me, reading requirements like this are part of why. It shuts out boys as effectively as older math class models shut out girls.
There are plenty of other books out there about breaking down stereotypes, that at least have some primary male characters, (not just fringers to say hey, guys have these issues too. Those characters that might have added a male angle/perspective to this book were not developed.)
Even Little Women is more boy friendly than this book. And there are girls I know who cringed at this title too. If you want to teach a lesson, give a list of titles with that lesson. Don't force feed, especially when assigning about five pages of writing to go with it, and especially over the summer, when a kid should be able to have some time to just be a kid.

Gardening in July

2011-07-26T13:36:00.001-05:00

Mr. M & I's fourteenth wedding anniversary was earlier this month. I remembered two days after.
So there was nothing "special" about it, other than what is special every day with my husband.
Part of what's so special, is that our relationship has roots that keep growing deeper. We're not afraid to turn a little soil to make more room. It may mean reading a book outside our usual genre so we talk about it. It may mean getting used to foods we don't "like." It may mean taking on a community service project together.
Sometimes the soil gets turned for us. Friends get divorced. Moving for a job. Kids in the hospital.
The real question is, once the soil is turned, what are we going to do there?
Are we going to plant discontent about "going out of our way" or it "not being fair"?
Are we going to divide the soil into different pots? "Saying well it's okay that's HIS thing, I'll just keep my dirt over here." Not that container gardens can't be beautiful, but they have limited depth. They need more frequent feeding to thrive, since they can't get natural restoration from the seasons of life. It's hard to grow a life-long relationship that way.
Or, once the soil has already been turned, we can try to tamp it back down....but that often leaves the ground hard and unable to grow anything at all. Trying to force things back to the way they were "before" can do this, whether it's before marriage, before kids, before the fight, before the move.
There are other, more positive ways to continue on. I believe part of why our marriage has not just survived, but thrived through difficulties is Mr. M's permanent contentedness.
The soil is turned. Can't go back. Might as well use it for something.
So from the seed of content he always plants, grows a plant of peace.
That peace starts one end of the garden.
Whereas on the other end of the garden, I plant hope. I cling to the idea that "all things work for the good." E1's food issues led to us eating healthier. Losing our house we built led to the one we have now which fulfilled our hearts desires in a home. All things in this world are temporary.
My mother in law says I see a silver lining around every cloud. Gardens need the clouds. Rain and sun are both needed to grow. Fertilizer stinks, but is necessary as well...and best applied in the preparation of the soil, because it can burn the plants if it comes in direct contact.
We then meet up in the middle of the garden, in full sunlight. There we plant a tree of thanksgiving.
Being content, hopeful, and grateful, we watch our garden grow. May it continue to grow for years to come.

taking a day to let it be

2011-07-23T15:35:00.000-05:00

Every now and then a Saturday comes along that screams "You're family needs you more than housework does." Today is one of those Saturdays.
This morning started with a nice late breakfast. Mr. M made pancakes and I put together a fruit compote for the topping of frozen strawberries & blueberries with some fresh cherries, simmered in orange juice w/ a bit of honey, cardamon, and cinnamon. Then we had our itty bit of laundry/pick up/dishes, (Is there really ever such a thing as a chore free day?) and we were off.
Off to crown center for the noon FREE puppet show. A very amusing production involving marionettes, frogs singing "at the hop", and more. Then we went to the interactive rain forest. There was something for all the kids, from simple puzzles and coloring pages to hands on activities with matching and a microscope to interactive video displays.
After all this, we brought the littles home w/ slushees from QT for some chill time.
While they were hanging out at home it was time for me to go pick up our oldest, who was returning from 3MT, a localish missions trip.
"Mom, you probably want the money I have left."
"Would be nice."
"Here you go. It isn't much."
"That's okay. I gave it to you to spend."
"There was this mennonite store. They had this candy that's like, the best candy ever."
O-kaay. The kid spent $20 on candy....wait for it.
"Oh, does the cd player in Dad's car work. I got this really great music from the guy who led music at camp."
He spent his own money on a worship cd. All acoustic guitar.
"And I bought a hat and a t-shirt."
Well, he needs clothes for school.
"I brought home these extra hats for the sibs. I saved them this piece of candy too."
This is totally in character for this kid...yet I still find my heart about to burst in love and pride.
"So what did you DO, besides eat and shop?
He shrugs. "Painted and sprayed wasp nests."
"And there was the music too. I really liked it, hence the CD."
"Anything else."
"The devotional was kind of weird mom, but I liked the music and prayed a lot."
This is his first reference to personal prayer at all. I've always known he does it, but this is the first time he's been comfortable talking about it.
"So you liked it?"
"It was fun."
Good enough for me. That describes our day today pretty well. It was fun.

Take me out to the ball game...

2011-07-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

This has been the request from our eleven year old for the last three summers. So last night we finally did it.
Part of it was timing. Four of our kids are away between a church missions trip and camp grandma.
Part of it was super cheap tickets. When going to a ball game is similar in cost to going to a matinee movie, the chances of it becoming a reality are much higher.
Part of it was who KC was playing against. I enjoy Chicago based sports teams, so with me and the child ganged up on him, my husband didn't stand much of a chance. Mr. M is not a baseball fan, but he is a fan of a happy wife. So we went.
Once we were at the game, Si guy was the entertainment.
"Fireworks!"
"Fountains!"
"Look Si, see how they stand and hold the bat?"Our seats were on the first base foul line on the lowest level, so we really could see.
"Uh-huh." He takes an imaginary practice swing.
I spent a good deal of the 8th inning walking with Si, including a close up look at the fountains, and almost catching up to Slugger. Oh well, next time Si.
"Okay."
And the eleven year old?
"Can we come again, soon?!"
I think he had a good time too.

Have an attitude of .....

2011-07-14T09:06:00.000-05:00

I feel like life has just snapped together this summer. The kids are all old enough to dress themselves. We've moved out of slumlords r us into our dream house. We're making forward progress financially instead of just barely treading water. Mr. M & I are both healthier than we've been in years. The kids have activities they enjoy. We're between the craziness of June and the back to school blowouts. It's peaceful.
We've even had a "guest teen" to help watch the preschoolers a few days a week so I have time for unpacking and housework. My inner skeptic keeps saying "this is too good to be true."
Overall though, I'm just appreciative to have an earthly example of God's grace. I certainly don't deserve a breathtakingly beautiful home and free part-time child care, but I am grateful for it. Here's hoping I can be a good steward of these great gifts God (and my friends and in-laws) have given me.
Leading me to one of our family mottos.
"What kind of attitude are we supposed to have kids?"
*mumble, grumble.*"What was that? Are we supposed to have an attitude of brattitude?"
"Nooo.! Mo-om."
"What kind of attitude are we supposed to have then?"
"Gratitude!" shout the tiny tots.
"Grat-i-tude." mumble the preadolescents..
"And how do we express gratitude?"
"By not complaining." (younger kid)
"By being con-tent." (medium sized kid)
"By taking care of our stuff." (older kid rolling eyes with heavy sigh.)
"How does taking care of your stuff show gratitude?"
"It shows consideration for who bought it for us, and keeps us from having to be embarrassed by ratty things or dragged out again." Ooookay.
"What else can help you show your gratitude is real?"
"Staying positive, (sigh) and not complaining about the work to maintain things."
All right kid. You get a gold star. Time for mom to start on HER example for you.

Miss D's birthday blog (at least it's in the same month!)

2011-07-12T10:26:00.000-05:00

Princess D turned seven on July 3rd. Really? Really.
That's how this summer has flown.
From ponies to horses, from princess dolls to collectible dolls....this could be an expensive year.
Right now she's in a "dress up" phase as I like to call them. No, she's not any more of a clothes horse than she already was. She's trying on different personalities, trying to define her self.
She's tried being a diva. That's part of who she really is, but found she doesn't quite have the "power" for the full effect of the act.
She's tried being the "baby", but really her personality is a bit strong for that act, and she gets that "max" look in her eyes that makes it hard for her to pass off as innocent.
She's tried being the "yes man," but her independence burned that up in flames.
She's tried to be "max" too...but finds I watch her more closely than "Ruby."
I just hope she figures out soon it's more about being herself, for when she IS herself, she's irresistible.   Yet I know it may be a while, for the process of "becoming" is really just beginning.
"I get to help bake the cake! Is it chocolate? Really! Oh mom, you're the best mom ever. Mom, can I lick the spatula pleeeaaase?"
Maybe, she'll still be more child than changeling for a while yet. I hope so.

girl scout camp, and moving, and a birthday, and the 4th of July, oh my!

2011-07-07T21:10:00.000-05:00

Internet, finally available in our home sweet home. A few weeks without it, and the most eventful few weeks this year thus far.
Girl Scout camp was a blast, especially for me since I had the TAGS, (the tiny tot sibs of the girl scouts whose moms volunteered.) We did a simplified version of most of the big kid activities. From cooking to knives (with play-doh!) we walked in the big girls footsteps. Miss D, had a great time too, once she realized that being the baby didn't mean being boss. By mid-day of day 2 she was in the swing of things! Her favorite activities were on days 3 &4, the HORSES, and the zip line. She can't wait until she's 13 and can have a whole week of horse camp...although she's not convinced yet that she will have to muck the stalls.
Turn around and say, we're moving three times..and over the next 3 weekends we did! Finally! Our new to us home is paradise. It couldn't be more perfect. I stepped outside once last week and thought "ick! It's so hot!" Then I stepped inside, so grateful that I didn't have a clue how hot it was outside until then. What a dramatic change from the other house! This home is such a blessing to us, such things as a working full sized oven and main floor laundry are gifts I will never cease to appreciate.
Just like our lovely Miss D appreciated her birthday bonanza. She helped make her cake, received a "baby" unicorn pillowpet to go with her big one, and a baby doll that looks a lot like her. Grilled chicken and grandparents and games. A perfect day for the princess.
The next day was pretty perfect too. Camp grandma claimed their campers, and those of us left behind went to watch the Olathe fireworks show. It wasn't super crowded and we had a perfect view. It was Si guy's first one. He seemed to really like the shapes and colors.
A few days to recover, and continue to unpack. Today, our internet was finally hooked up. Its nice to be connected again.

VBS is over

2011-06-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

I just need to take a moment here to thank ALL my teachers and teen helpers in the preschool department. They pulled together fabulously and made it work, and made it memorable for the kids.The last day just flew by in a web of events, literally. The kids got to play spiderman (or missionary), making "yarn collages" out of their rooms. They batted balloons around, and made stoplights with how to "Go" to Jesus. We sent home "skyscraper sacks" with life sized "missionary dolls" and had a great time. All that was just the morning.
Last night they sang and (Y-E-L-L)ed to their parents, then settled in to watch the big kids play. Our family had two roles, as the "adult" VBS leader, and the "unbeliever-who-comes-to-Christ." This was our oldest's final year to be in the childrens play and E1's acting debut. They both did fabulously. A good time was had by all, especially at the cookie table afterwards.
Now it's on to Girl Scout Camp!

Sand and paint and water oh my!

2011-06-09T20:26:00.000-05:00

Today is day four of our VBS journey! I'm so thankful all the little people seem to still be having a good time. Today I watched kids scoop sand, build pretend playgrounds for little people, make handprints while riding a skateboard, and float boats they made yesterday.
We also had our first "real" singing practice in the sanctuary for tomorrow night. The preschoolers will sing T-E-L-L and "Help one another" before the big kids have their play. We're so privileged that the parents of these thirty preschoolers chose to share them with us this week.
I'm also blessed by the four teens we had to help them. Really big kids make it more fun for the little ones.
Tomorrow is the last day. Then I get to just be a mom again...for one day. Then it's day camp, where I'm with the preschoolers. I just can't get enough of the tiny humans, but after that, it will just be me and my not as tiny anymore humans for the rest of the summer.

I'm so grateful to be super busy

2011-06-09T20:14:00.000-05:00

this week and next. Between VBS, pool passes, day camp, and finally moving (I hope), the time between now and the 20th ought to just fly by. What's so signifigant about the 20th? That's the date I'll have t.v. and home internet available again.
Now, I'm quite willing to take digital breaks. I've been known to declare digital free days to make sure our kids stretch out their bodies and their minds. I've lived for 10 months without internet, and the first 10+ years of my marriage without anything resembling cable. The difference between that and this, is then I had a choice.
This time we don't. We were going to just switch our service over to the new place when we moved. The date for our move has been moved back. Fine, we call Time Warner, and inform them the switch needs to be pushed back too. They say no problem.
Fast Forward to last night, when I sit down after dinner to get some quality computer game time in for the first time this week....and there's no internet. Okay, our modem has flaked out before. I'll just turn on the t.v. No cable. Greaaat.
Mr. M calls. Turns out they only switched the turn on date at the new house, or so they say. Well, mistakes happen. Turn it back on.
They say no can do. It would take a service call.
Why? They didn't send someone over to turn it off. Just flip the same switch and turn it back on?
Sorry, since they removed our address from the system, they are required to send someone out, and they can't do that until the day it's supposed to switch anyway.
Whatever. We know how to find free WiFi and hunt out a new service. Besides, we have a friend who works for At&T. U-verse shouldn't be a problem.
So U-verse it is. Installed at our new residence on June 20th.
Here's hoping we live there before then.

Give me a V!...

2011-06-06T18:08:00.000-05:00

Give me a B! Give me a S! What's that spell? VBS!
VBS is this week. As the preschool coordinator most of my work was done last week, so this week is starting out to be a lot of fun!
Besides coordinating I also get to do music with the kids, and my two youngest were front and center. T-E-L-L is everyone's favorite song, probably because they get to Y-E-L-L! We "like to march" and "clap our hands" too.
I watched all the kids in their recreation rotation too. Bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and playgrounds never fail. In a lot of ways, that's what's fun about preschool. It's all crafts and games and hugs.
Today's song was "Good Things." JESUS is definitely doing good things through this VBS.

It's been a while since I've taken a day "just" to be a mom.

2011-05-31T17:52:00.000-05:00

Today was truly a gift.

It started getting hot. I had requests for the pool, and thought "why not?"
Another hour later, we had found swimwear and towels,
sunscreen was applied, amidst a few protesting howls.
Into van, to Merriam we go.
There my kids were truly the show.

The first pool trip of summer is like meeting an old friend after a long trip. We test the waters, see what we remember...but eventually you just take a dip.
Our oldest son showed me he could use the high dive. After that he was all smiles and high fives.
The next two asked to dive low, but I made them swim across the pool for me before I'd let them go.
Princess D was indignant at first, that I made her stay close until her strokes were rehearsed.
Slides and splashes we had aplenty.
Then the inevitable happened. Their stomachs were empty.

Now we're back home and crashed out content.
Should we go back on Thursday? They smiled their assent.

We're moving, before the end of this month....really.

2011-05-31T10:00:00.000-05:00

Well. We haven't moved yet. A lot of our boxes/totes have though. The powers that be decided the floor needed another coat of finish. That coat of finish was applied yesterday, so we should be able to walk on the floors later this week. That doesn't mean we can move yet though. It just means our new furniture can. That's right, this weekend we'll be assembling desks/beds, moving chairs and maybe a couch...but not ourselves.
Because well, steps to the porches would be good.
So would a sink in the downstairs bathroom, and grates over the vents so they don't look like GI Joe slides. And the shed isn't there yet. So there's not a home for our kids bikes,scooters, and balls or our yard tools and gas can. We still may beat the shed, but we're paying for this house through the end of the month, so it can still store some of our stuff for a week or two while it gets sorted out.
The younger kids are ready to move. They've seen the swing set. They've played on the swing set. Complete w/ climbing wall, lookout point, glider, and picnic table, it's a kids dream. All it needs is a steering wheel...but hey it came with one. They'll put it on.
The older kids are ready to move too. Both the oldest boys are seeing the end of their roommate days...and looking forward to a little more space and privacy, and maybe even having a friend spend the night now and then.
We've been ready to move. Saying goodbye to this house and it's issues and welcoming an easier to take care of, better maintained home from the architectural time period we prefer. Also, it will be nice to be done moving.
I told Mr. M we should have another baby. After all, we've had one per residence after our first year of marriage so far...but he didn't go for it. Really, barring miracles it won't happen. It's okay though. We're entering a new phase. Within a year or two, all our kids will be in school and that big, beautiful house will be quiet from eight to three. Lower maintenance home, lower maintenance kids. A new age of independence for all of us.

Here comes the rain again

2011-05-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

Drip. Drip. Drip. I'm keeping an eye on a leak in our ceiling at the base of our stairway, which is on an interior wall, thinking about the things I have to be grateful for in this storm.
I've been stress crying a bit lately, but I'm grateful for that storm too.
I'm grateful Si Guy had a great birthday.
I'm grateful my kids are in a school where I can be involved.
I'm grateful my church includes preschoolers in VBS.
I'm grateful my daughter has the opportunity to attend day camp at a fabulous facility with fishing, horses, a zip line, and more.
I'm very, very, grateful that we will be in our forever home next week.
That means I'll never have to sit and watch my ceiling drip, drip, drip, again.

I don't know what I'd do without a computer.

2011-05-24T11:23:00.001-05:00

The internet is our lifeline. It's my connection to other adults during the day. It has a dictionary. It has encyclopedias. It has free video games.
And my duh moment for the day, it has free board games.
I can't believe I never thought of printing off board games. When I think of the money I've wasted on "memory" cards and Candyland it makes me shudder.
As I'm typing this, my two preschoolers are playing a shape based candyland type game w/ a rocket as the goal. We have plenty of stray markers and dice for them to use, since I didn't feel like scrounging supplies to build the spinner.
When they get bored with that, I have alphabet kites printed out for them to match.
It seems that no matter how "experienced" I get at this parenting preschoolers game there's always something new for me to learn.

shameless chilcare vent for therapy purposes.

2011-05-23T12:28:00.000-05:00

Dear childwatch employee:

Si Guy used the bathroom before entering your area today. I am sorry I forgot to check to make sure he had pulled his underwear all the way up. Unlike your implications, he was wearing them & they have stayed there over 2 hours by themselves now, so they fit just fine.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention the elastic had issues on his pants. They didn't fall during the half hour we were roaming around school before we came to see you. Believe me, the school nurse would have had 0 qualms talking to me if they did.    I did take them out of circulation once we got home. Apparently you've had issues with that pair of pants before. We had not. Neither had the nursery at church, the school staff at the elementary, etc. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
However, if you don't want irate parents when bringing issues to their attention, I suggest you talk to them, not at them: and treat them like an adult, not a naughty school child. Your coworker who took your place understands that.
Working somewhere a long time is not a reason to treat your patrons poorly.
"Saying, I've had 10 issues and no one else complained." doesn't matter.
Even one person complaining brings you up to 10%.   And for every person that complains, there are several who just vote with their feet.
The question is how many of those people even bothered to come back?
I may have to start skipping Tai Chi every other Monday if this attitude from you comes around again.

I've had a busy kid week. (Read my blog below if you don't believe me.) Besides what's down there we had a picnic on Saturday and VBS planning and AWANA awards on Sunday. Did I mention I'm responsible for the entire preschool/nursery department for VBS? I didn't get the job from a lack of experience. I'm also a program staff member for Girl Scout day camp this year. I have to pass a KBI check for that. I'm not some negligent monster, despite what you implied from your cold behavior. I am a slightly overwhelmed and overscheduled mother of six children, trying to meet the needs of each one.

We're also supposed to be moving at the end of this week, so I'm a little preoccupied. Usually when I change out clothes for the season I do have them try most of their things on for a fit check. Because of the impending move, I did not have time for that this year.   So again, thanks for pointing out those pants were a 3 not a 4. It's been dealt with.

P-A-R-T-Y!

2011-05-20T09:29:00.000-05:00

This week has been a partying kind of week.
Wednesday was Si Guys 4th birthday. (I'll write his sapfest blog this weekend.) Thanks to his friend Z we had a great time. Four year olds are simple creatures. They don't need "events" for a birthday to be great. Lunch at a McD's playground was awesome. Going to Monkey Business afterwards was even more awesome. He and Z spent almost two hours climbing, swinging on ropes, shooting hoops, bouncing in bounce houses, and going through an inflatable obstacle course. When they needed a break, they built things with giant foam blocks and crawled through tunnels. After his playdate he came home to make a chocolate cake, eat frozen pizza for dinner and go to church.
He adored his presents. Both I & E1 bought him books at the book fair at school. He got a tonka truck w/ towed motorcycles from us. (Courtesy of 90% clearance.) His grandparents gave him a flower monkey so his other monkey now has a friend. A pretty perfect day overall.
Fast forward to yesterday. Yesterday was the 6th grade party at Rushton. A lot of the events in grade school are geared towards younger kids. Sometimes, they're even recruited to help with the younger kids. Yesterday was all about them. They walked to the bowling alley and bowled in their socks. I really wish I was there to see them slip sliding away, but I was back at the school, helping set up the lunch. We had a hot dog and hamburger & bag of chipsavailable for each child, a fruit tray, a veggie tray, and three kinds of dessert. The food was demolished, but all the kids were full. Then after stuffing them we had 2 inflatables for them to play on. It was raining, so they were in the gym. The giant slide was fantastic! I went down in 3 times, but only once in front of the kids. Thanks to R's mom, there will be a photo on Facebook for proof. Mr P. was at the bottom giving kids "style" points. No one scored under a 9.5. Yes, he was recruited by the kids to go down it too. We all had a great time, but it left me wondering how many more parties will there be where my son wants me to be there?
Today is the K-5 party. My younger kids are sooo excited....but it's raining. So we'll be a little cramped, in the gym, cafeteria, maybe under the overhang in front. They won't care. It's a party that's a whole half day. This one I'm not "needed" to help, but am welcome to attend and hang out.
Then tomorrow, we're supposed to have a picnic...but unless this rain lets up, I think we'll have to cancel. I won't make a final call until this evening. Maybe God knows I need a break. This is, afterall, just the warmup for the big events ahead, moving, VBS, and day camp.

The end of school swirls ahead

2011-05-13T23:02:00.000-05:00

May is a busy month for lots of people. Graduations, field days, end of school, etc.
For us it marks the end of I's term as an elementary student. This week is his last full week as a sixth grader, and as a sign that he's getting older, he's freaking out about an end of year project. Personally, I feel this project did not have specific enough parameters for a child his age, but as his mother I can't tell him that. It would just frustrate him more. So instead I listen to him vent, and drop everything to take him to the library as needed.
On top of this project he also has a fairly extensive writing assignment that we spent over an hour doing background research for last night. He spent an additional hour putting the bones of that assignment together.
Yes folks, my son spent about four hours on homework yesterday...and he's only in 6th grade. I'm not outraged...because well, the library trip he could have made last weekend when I'd offered the first time. And he had all this weekend to do the other assignment, but he had other plans. So last night he just learned the lesson of scheduling. Hopefully his intro course to homework management taught him enough to save him a few all nighters later when the stakes are higher.

My house is 90 degrees.

2011-05-09T20:02:00.000-05:00

Thus why we grilled tonight and will crock or salad it tomorrow.
Also why me and the tweedles spent most of the day in nice shady parks.
This morning we went to Nall Park to kick it old school. Old school like concrete tunnels, swings, and the only local merry-go-round that hasn't been removed.
That merry-go-round is a nostalgia thing I love sharing with my kids. There are so many ways to look at the world spinning on one of those things. You can stand facing in, looking across. You can sit in the middle looking out, but not feeling the pull as much. You can lay down and look up and watch the trees & clouds spin. You can turn sideways and watch where you are going or where you have been. There are so many different views of the same space from a merry-go-round. It's a great lesson in perspective, and empathizing with different points of view.
The concrete tunnels are great too. We went over, and under, and slid down them sideways. It's a great hiding place in the cool, damp undersides. It's also a great choo-choo train riding on top. Sometimes it's good to kick it old school.

7,6,5 weeks.

2011-04-30T06:30:00.000-05:00

In just seven short weeks, I get to go to day camp with my daughter. Horses, zip lines, arts and crafts, cooking and more await her. I'm still waiting to see where I'll be assigned. I've requested programs this year, so I won't be with her most of the time. That's a big change from last year, but I'm sure she can handle it. I'll be fine too.
In just six short weeks is VBS at our church. This year, our preschool director has to work her real job, so in the preschool department I'm doing Missions and Music, and making sure everything else runs smoothly. Thankfully Ms. J is still helping get it set up, gather volunteers, and such or I would be totally lost. I love ms J. This year is going to be hard for both of us.
In just 5 short weeks, our home is supposed to be ready for us. Our real home. Our "I don't want to move out unless there's dire circumstances home." Our home that was chosen for us 1.5 years ago, and we've watched be reshaped into something even more amazing than it already was home. A home that truly reflects our character. A FIVE bedroom home with TWO working bathrooms! A home w/ a fridge with a bottom freezer and a working full sized oven with a warranty. A home with main floor laundry, hardwood floors, and lots of red & blue paint. A home with a decorative fireplace. Yes, I'm a bit excited about moving home. Just a ripple of what I'll feel when I get to heaven.

Easter

2011-04-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

Happy Resurrection day to all my friends. We are so blessed. Our morning started by the kids having candy and hard boiled eggs for breakfast, shooting rockets and bouncing balls and blowing bubbles in the house.
Then we settled down to watch "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.." and explaining the parallels between the movie and Easter. Some of the kids got it, others not so much, but our second feature was the new Veggietale "Twas the Night Before Easter" for the small fry.
Then something amazing happened. Every single one of our kids spent some time with their new devotionals. Only God could have guided me to ones each kid would relate to. I especially like E2's one, because it has an emphasis on our stewardship of the earth.
Easter Dinner was ham, cheesy taters, sweet taters, corn and broccoli, shared with my fantastic in-laws. Now we're all in the post food daze.
Peace be with you. It was with us today.

My mom.

2011-04-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

Every now and then I do a list post. My mom is having some pretty major surgery tomorrow, and this post is for her.
Things I learned from MY mom.

1.) God has to be first. all the time. period.
2.) It is better to laugh than despair.
3.) Worship music is the best, most meaningful music...and an easy way to memorize scripture.
4.) Intelligence is a gift. Don't waste it.
5.) Quality ingredients lead to quality results. This doesn't just apply to cooking.
6.) Unconditional acceptance is the first step to unconditional love.
7.) Those we love the most will drive us the most crazy.
8.) Anything worth doing is worth doing wholeheartedly.
9.) The most important thing you can do as a parent (besides praying for/with your kids) is be there for your kids when they really need you, which is not the same thing as when they want you.
10.) Relationships are a two way street.
11.) Pay attention to how you look. People WILL judge you by it.
12.) Do whatever you need to do to protect your family. The world be damned.
13.) Every decision you make has consequences.
14.) How to have a mutually submissive marriage.
15.) Games are not about winning. Really. They're not. (This one had to be repeated, and repeated, and repeated....)
16.) Appreciate the family you have. It's not like you can spin the wheel of families for a new one.
17.) Do the best you can with who you are and what you have....and let go of the rest.
18.) Love your friends like family and your respect family like friends.
19.) Keep an eternal perspective.
20.) When in doubt, pray. When not in doubt, pray. Just keep praying.
21.) All things work for the good. It does not mean all things are good at the time.
22.) Don't feel bad about taking breaks when you need them.
23.) Take time to appreciate the details.
24.) Performance DOES matter. Do the best work you are capable of.
25.) Money isn't everything. People are.
26.) Take time to play with your children. It will be some of the best memories they have in their entire lives.
27.) Everyone needs to feel appreciated. Voice that appreciation sincerely and often.
28.) Respect people. No exceptions.
29.) All situations are temporary. Don't get too wrapped up in one.
30.) Things are temporary. The only thing here you're definitely going to see in heaven is people.

Palm Sunday

2011-04-18T13:03:00.000-05:00

I feel that Palm Sunday is the best Sunday to be a kid in church, hands down. As a parent, it brings back some of my favorite parts of childhood. Sure, it's fun to proceed around the sanctuary waving branches and towels. It's fun to sing, LOUD, with adult approval. It's fun to remember this part of Christ's life, as a kid.
The best part is the palm branches themselves.
After church I had one kid dissecting his, to figure out all the veins in the leaves and the "why" of the shape.
I had another turn his into a ponytail for "crazy hat night" at AWANA.
I had a couple more treat them like swords.
There's still one in the back of car, and one that's been "deleafed", for lack of a better word.
All in all, the bottom line is Palm Sunday shows kids it can be fun to worship Jesus. Any day that makes my 10 year old jump out of bed ready to go to church is a good day to me.

Today's picky topic

2011-04-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine posted a link today, stating her point of "I believe the cure to picky eating is kids in the kitchen."
I believe that when someone says they have a "cure" to any particular
childhood behavior, they haven't been exposed to enough children yet. I too, have fallen victim to these attitudes in my past, and having another baby or two usually cured it.

Using the example before us, I have six kids, all of whom have "helped" in the kitchen from the time they could stand on a chair, if not sooner.   They also grocery shop with us. Every one of them usually is game about trying new foods, especially whatever we pick out at the farmer's market. Each and every one of these six kids has totally different ideas about how said food should be prepared.
Granted, food intolerances/allergies, etc. have played a role in shaping some of them. The one who is a sauce hater and likes all food plain is probably that way due to being extremely intolerant to gluten and dairy, and sauces being one the worst culprits for his "accidental exposures." Ditto on the kid who eyes every granola bar w/ suspicion and is allergic to nuts.
Even my human garbage disposals (aka, boys 1 & 3) have some definite preferences about food. They are also the ones who cook for themselves the most.    Reconciling E2s sauce addiction to E1s sauce hatred is one of my top kitchen challenges.
Our little first grade princess has always had standards for dairy products. She doesn't like to drink milk that doesn't come from a glass bottle, prefers certain types of cheese over others, and adores yogurt.
Miss P likes to "doctor" whatever is put before her, even if she helped make it.
Si guy will try any new food before 3pm...but hates to eat dinner, even if he likes it. It's just too close to bedtime as far as he's concerned.
All of our kids preferences come from their exposure to food in the kitchen, not the lack of it.

And that's okay. Their dad doesn't like most fish. I don't like many, many, cooked vegetables. (Raw is another matter.) I empathize w/ my anti-sauce kid, because I don't care for tomatoes either. Everyone is entitled to their likes/dislikes within reason. The trick is to learn to accept what you dislike with grace when it's presented with love. Food is for our nourishment, not our whims. Everyone has to accept situations they don't like sometimes. Everyone has to eat food they don't like sometimes, just to be polite. It's a grown up skill. At least that's what I tell my kids if they start to complain.
This means daddy eats fish. It also means E2 eats spaghetti and Miss D has to deal w/ non-glass milk until we can afford to increase our food budget by about $20 a week. It means E2 eats roast beast and our oldest eats baked beans. And for the most part, they've adapted. Sure they're still kids and we sometimes find broccoli or beans under the dining room table rug. Sometimes we catch them trading what they don't like for what they do off each other's plates.
In general though, what we're doing seems to be working.   Other than our oldest two, who push the top and bottom of the weight chart, our kids are in the normal range. All six are active. They eat a green food every day and take a fresh fruit or veggie in their lunch without me having to inspect daily. They have favorites like broccoli and jicama.   It works.

Remembering the church songs of my childhood

2011-04-10T20:08:00.000-05:00

Today my brain was playing radio station.
During Sunday School the tunes were
"They will know we are christians by our love, by our love..."
& "The horse and rider thrown into the sea."
During kidz world, of all the songs to pop into my head was the "meet and greet" song from Full Faith. I even sang it to Gordo.
"I love you with the love of God, yes I love you with the love of God, I can see Him in you, the image of our King, yes I love you with the love of God" Okay, the word might be glory instead of image...but you get the gist, what makes this memory particularly squirm worthy is that while we sang this song, we had to hold both the other person's hands and look them in the eye, and at the end of the verse find a new victim and repeat.

Tonight it was "he has shown thee, oooh ma-a-an, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee..."

While I was waiting for the kids at AWANA, an eldery member of the church was talking to me about how I was raising my kids right. If that's true, it's because of the spiritual legacy my parents left me.

Today's kid quotables.

2011-04-05T17:02:00.000-05:00

Miss P was full of commentary today.
"Si, that's it. I'm NOT going to marry you anymore."
Si-"Yes you are."

"Mommy, we have to go to the park. My baby needs some air."

And then miss D "Why does my Ariel doll have feet. Hello? She's supposed to be a mermaid." (put in hair flip and eye roll. How do six year olds learn that?)
"She turned human at the end."
"Why would she want to do that?"
I guess the water is always bluer on the other side.

E2 "Mom, look at this book I got at the library!"
"ARMY RANGERS."
"But there's not any violence in it really, except at the end, and there...."

Seeing my 12 year old light up like a 6 year old.
"oooh, jellybeans! Purple. Grape! I like purple. Can I trade you for another purple. I have two reds...Can I get the green one too? I really thought you called me."
"No, it must have been the jellybeans calling you."

And even Eggy had his moment today.
"Mom, do blondies count as treat foods? They don't have any sugar."
"They don't? Let me see that bag. hmm. First ingredient. Evaporated cane juice. Can you tell me what sugar is made of?"
"Cane. Awwe. I'm doing movers today, but I could make them for tomorrow!"
I love my kids.

a little separation

2011-04-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

Our 10 year old is testing the separation waters.
"I know you don't like baseball, but can I watch the Royals game?"
"Sure. Basketball isn't until tonight."
"Basketball. bleah. Baseball goood."

"k."

Later...
"Texas A &M is playing K-state in baseball. Can I watch that?"
"Sure."
"Good, but I'm rooting for Texas. I want to go to A&M for college."
"okay."
Our oldest pipes in outraged, "but MOM!"
"It's okay I, he can go wherever he wants to go, if he does well enough to get the financial aid. It's too far ahead to tell."
"But Mom,..."
"And he can root for whoever he wants to root for. You guys don't have to agree with us about everything."
I suppose that's going to be mantra soon.

Grey's Anatomy

2011-04-01T16:58:00.000-05:00

This post has some more "mature" themes than is common here at Mama's house. Something about having a couple kids on the dawn of adolescence.
Grey's Anatomy is my guilty pleasure show. Last night, my 12 year old wanted to watch it with me. It has some very "mature" content, but at least for this particular episode I'm glad he did. It led to some very interesting discussion.
Topic 1:
Why we wear seatbelts EVERY minute the car is moving.The opening scene had Callie splayed across the hood of a car, being thrown because she had unbuckled her seatbelt to reach the back seat, and then never fastened it again.
Topic 2:
Out of body experiences, brain trauma's. Callie wasn't in the best of shape throughout the show
Topic 3:
Sexuality. E1 walked in as I broached this topic w/ our oldest.
He was horrified and fascinated at the same time to find out there were "girl-girl" and "boy-boy" couples out there.
We stated our stance of "we hope that is a road none of you go down, (for religious and health reasons) but people have the right to make their own choices." and "people's relationship statuses do not give you a reason to treat them poorly" and "Mind your own bees." Oddly enough, the best allegory I know for our position of sexuality issues is C.S. Lewis' discussing wine. " I know there are people who think it is wrong to have a glass of wine with dinner, but I would be greatly disappointed if they made it illegal for me to do so." (paraphrased from Mere Christianity.)
There was also the reinforcement of "yes premarital sex is common, but please don't do it. That's how diseases/babies happen, and condoms aren't perfect."

Topic 4: No matter what choices you make, we can talk about them, and I will love you no matter what. I will be happy for your happiness and have sorrow with your sorrow, because you are mine.
Life isn't t.v. but sometimes t.v. helps us to explain the ins and outs of life.

My baby girl is going to kindergarten.

2011-04-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

This morning was kindergarten round up, and princess P is so ready.
While mommy was getting schpeel about curriculum and being able to put their own straws in juice boxes, Princess P got to make a picture, meet the teachers and librarian, and plant a sunflower seed.
She spelled her name for everyone, and knew the answers at story time.
She moved along and never looked back.
She was excited, confident, and capable.
For her, August couldn't come soon enough. She didn't need to be "rounded up", but at least she felt "welcome in".

The importance of a good cast iron frying pan.

2011-03-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

Yes folks, we got Tangled from redbox and loved it. The kids love Max, the horse who thinks he's part bloodhound. Yet my favorite line from the movie has to got to be "Frying pans. Who knew, right?"
I did.
A great heavy-weight cast iron pan is good for so many things.

1)Camping cookware of choice, unless hiking.
2) Browning and searing.
3) Getting a little extra iron in your tomato sauce. Non-dairy sauces in general do well on low heat
4) baking cornbread/cobbler if deep enough
5) One stop pan for range to oven applications
6) Pan frying. No other pan comes close!
7) Self defense, (a bit heavy for the calvary though.)
8) Discourages unauthorized cooking by minors. Those pans are heavy!
9) Hate to wash dishes? These pans hate soap.
10) High quality cookware available at fairly reasonable prices. Just shop at Target instead of Cabela's.

Ours is a 12" skillet that's about 1.5-2" deep. I hope to get its 10" younger brother and mama dutch oven in the relatively near future. Even cookware is a family deal.

I'm moving my fitness stuff to a new blog

2011-03-28T16:28:00.000-05:00

Since, I'm hoping for a long-term reform I figured it needed it's own outlet. And the kids are the stars here.
So if you wish, proceed to http://fantasiastichippomom.blogspot.com/ where I'll chronicle my reintroduction to the gym-rat race.

Saturday morning aqua aerobics

2011-03-26T15:49:00.003-05:00

Yes, I did just dive right into this class thing.
Aqua aerobics has some pros and cons.
Pros:
1) Most of my mistakes are under water, so who else would know?
2) It's kind of like a cardio dance class w/ antigravity powers. Doing those jumps was really fun.
3) It's easier to adjust to my own "zone" than a typical class.
4) I got to shower alone.
5) Coffee on the way home

Cons:
1) It's in the pool.
2) The times I can make it are well before I'm usually out of bed.
3) It's in the pool.

As you might gather, I'm really not a fan of indoor swimming pools. About 15 minutes before the end of class the chlorine was starting to get to me. I have super-sensitive skin so I really won't be able to do this more than a couple times a week. That and I just hate the "oh brr." feeling of getting in. Add in that I'm about as graceful as an elephant and splash accordingly, riding the noodle seemed almost indecent, and that I tend to "roll over" instead of "helicopter", this class still is in the "maybe I can get used to it category." I'll try, because overall I felt better afterwards than before.

.Gym, take 1!

2011-03-25T15:48:00.002-05:00

Yes, I got the lovely purple yoga mat w/ kind of matching strap at Target. No that's not all we bought. We now have Gator Golf and a new play-doh set. Both, more than worth the money for the hours on nondigital play they've provided the last couple of days.
So, with Mr. M armed w/ new toys & nick jr, I went solo this morning to the gym. I left at 8:15, drove in circles, parked, sat in my car, and finally walked in at 8:55. One of the longest 15 minute drives I've ever taken.
While waiting for Tai Chi to start, I watched some people cycle, some dancing, and took a peek at the aqua aerobics class in the pool. Aqua aerobics will be my next adventure.
A few things made the pre-exercise confindence soar a bit.
1) Not everyone there looked like supermodels.
2) I'm at least two decades younger than most morning class participants.
3) Diet coke in the vending machine outside the gym. I am not a nice person precaffeine.

Then the Tai Chi peeps were there, and I noticed
1)no mats
2) shoes.
Crud. Wrong prep for this class. But the teacher said barefoot was fine. So barefoot I did!
Tai Chi went sooo well! I was excited, wanted to use my new mat, and not exercised out, so I called Mr. M and asked if he'd mind if I stayed for the next class, "Gentle Yoga."
He said sure, so stay I did.
I'm sooo thankful for my pretty purple mat! I would have hated to give cooties to the next user of the gyms mats from all the tears I shed during that class. Gentle my arse. Appropriately enough the resting pose was called "the child pose." I spent a bit of extra time there and in the "total muscle failure" pose. Especially when the others were in Downward Dog and that other inverted V pose. I have great calves. I can do that L thing. I can do the "airplane." But apparently those thigh/hip muscles have a ways to go. My personal mortification was amplified by the beauty of the 80+ year old lady next to me and how gracefully she could shift from one phase to the next.
After the class, said lady actually spoke to me.
"Is this your first class?"
"Yeah. I haven't been in a gym for about ten years."
"Well, keep trying. I felt that way at first too. But it gets easier. I've been doing this for about two years, and just never give up."
Then I went back to my car and was crying again...but for a much better reason.

Today it's just me and the tweedles.

2011-03-24T10:59:00.002-05:00

And for a 40 degree cloudy day after Spring Break, it's been pretty laid back.
This afternoon, I go on the great yoga mat hunt. at Target, because like Target. Decent stuff at a realistic price point, and also because the toy section is just across the aisle from the sports/fitness stuff, so maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to think, sort, prioritize.
Because bribery and blackmail is what parenting is all about. We just call it diversion, rewards, and other warm fuzzy words. Okay, it's not the focus of parenting, but definitely the method of choice of any preschool mother who is attempting to make a non-child purchase while accompanied by little sticky fingers...or get 5 minutes to herself.
Sometimes it takes the form of a favorite t.v. show so that we can shower alone.
Sometimes relinquishing the computer to our preteen so we can start cooking dinner.
In this case, it will be, just don't touch anything HERE and we'll go right over THERE to look next, okay?
Sometimes it works. Sometimes not so much. I'm stacking the odds in my favor by going right after lunch, a lunch I let them choose and make themselves. Full tummies ahead! Here's hoping all I come home with is a yoga mat.

Texas

2011-03-23T08:17:00.003-05:00

We spent our spring break camping in Texas. Most of my kids love camping. The others tolerate it.
Miss D helped both set up and take down tents. E2 helped set up.
Miss D & our oldest helped wash dishes.
I had plenty of volunteers to help cook, but declined those offers.
Something about sleeping in a tent makes substandard rations okay with the kids. We had zero complaints about the hot cereal breakfast, cold sandwich lunch, hot dog dinner regime. Only Si guy has eaten oatmeal since we've gotten home though.
High camp points included:
Setting up.
Tearing down without incident.
Sand, dirt and rocks. (at least for kids 3-6)
Neighbor kids at the campsite across from us for a couple of days.
I had one glorious afternoon of hanging out in my reclining camp chair to read a couple of magazines. I had 4 days of chasing our oldest out of said chair whenever I wanted to sit down.
"Why do you get the cool chair?"
"Who's money bought the chair?"
"Dad's!"
"Let's try again. Who organized this trip? Bought all the stuff? reserved the campsite?"
"You."
"That's right. Now gimmee my chair. Besides, I'm over the weight limit for most of the others."
(Unfortunate, but true. I'm working on that.)
E1 was in hog heaven with Texas warm weather.
"Mom, why can't we move here?"
"Come back in August kid, and ask me that again. There's a reason we reserve Texas for spring/fall camping."
Now, other than camping, the high point of Texas is visiting relatives.
We spent one afternoon at my cousin's house, where the little kids worked on a floor puzzle, and the big kids turned into t.v. zombies...well, digital is banned at our campsite. They have to get it where they can. Me, I admired the baby. Mr. M rolled his eyes and was thankful for his v.
I also admired his absolutely beautiful and tastefully decorated home. Mr. M was thankful for the home we should FINALLY be moving into around memorial day. It was an interesting afternoon.
Another event we attended in Texas was an IMB sending service for our friends who are entering the missions field. It made a big impression on the kids. They'd never seen a church with it's own parking garage, or one that took up two large downtown buildings before.
The orchestra was impressive. It was fun pointing out the different instruments to the kids, from oboes & french horns to three kinds of drums. We sat up in the nosebleed section, where we were surrounded by the organ pipes. The sound board was in front of us. It was a pretty cool view. Besides the awesomeness of the building, the service itself got our oldest thinking about missions, and what missionaries do. This I consider a success. The kids considered the cookies at the reception afterwards to be a success too.
The last two days of our trip were dedicated to J, my oldest son who was placed for adoption. We attended one of his baseball games, and caught the tail end of another. ( Nine a.m. is a time to wake up, not be somewhere for us. We tried though. We were up at 7 that day. Just could not get the gear down & van loaded fast enough.) We spent a couple hours each day on a playground where he chased, pushed swings, and just was a rock star in general for Mr. M & I's six kids. Day 1 was all about the kids. Day 2, we talked quite a bit as he pushed the ever demanding tire swing.
He's graduating high school this year, and moving on into the big, big, unsheltered world of college. He's got great ambitions and huge ideals. His parents have given him the tools to succeed, and his firm faith will serve him well. His plans probably include the military at some point, something I really wouldn't wish for any of my offspring, especially ones that express wishes to have families, but his life was given to God long ago, and God knows what's best for him. I'm just grateful he decided to find us, and that he really does want us to a part of his life, however large or small that part may be.

Yes, I'm that kind of mom.

2011-03-11T10:40:00.003-06:00

This morning I'm home alone with our youngest three, the 3,5, and 6 year olds.
They are having a blast.
They are taking turns "showering" (aka, flooding the bathroom and pretending they are Noah's animals.)
I think it's great, because I'm that kind of mom.
Yesterday they were playing in their designated mud hole in the back yard. Yes, they have a place where no grass goes, that they're allowed to dig and fill with the hose and play trucks, pigs, adobe hut builders,etc. because I'm that kind of mom.
I am the kind of mom that wants my kids to learn by experiencing life.
I am the kind of mom that refuses to purchase battery operated toys for kids under 4th grade. (Just can't get around those video game systems for the older boys. )
That said, they do get regular turns on the computer on age appropriate internet sites, because I'm that kind of mom too.
I'm the kind of mom that will sleep in a tent for 5 nights so my kids can dig in the dirt in a different setting, but only if that tent site has indoor plumbing.
I'm the kind of mom that lets my kids watch too much t.v. on occassion, or even semi-regularly if they're too young to read...as long as it's educational t.v.
I'm the kind of mom who picks out four books a year for my chapter readers to read.
I'm also the kind of mom that lets them bring home comic books from the library.
I'm the mom with the revolving bedroom door. I've never had a kid sleep with me who's started kindergarten yet. And that open door can lead to some interesting discussions with my nocturnal pre-teen.
I am not the kind of mom who is good at "laying down the law."
I am the kind of mom that allows natural consequences, even when they hurt to watch.
My kids vent about friends, school, and their siblings to me, because I'm that kind of mom.
They say one inappropriate word about their father and they are ice-stared down, because I'm that kind of wife too.
I get up on stage to have flour dumped down my shirt because I'm that kind of mom.
I am somebody's mom to at least half the elementary school, because I'm there so much...because I'm that kind of mom too.
I am or have been a soccer mom, a football mom, a baseball mom, a homeschool mom, a PTA mom, a cookie mom, a dance mom, a scout mom, AWANA store director mom, room mom, stay at home mom, working opposite shifts mom, and more.
I am a mom who has had preschool age or younger children in my home for the last 12.5 years, and still have 1.5 years more.
By the time my youngest starts school, I'll have been a mostly at home with kids mom for 14 years.
And I'm sure there will be more labels ahead, choir mom, drama mom, maybe band mom...maybe not.
It really doesn't matter, because I will always be there to help my kids succeed, because I'm that kind of mom.

The plan. I think I have one

2011-03-10T20:44:00.002-06:00

This is kind of part 2 of the fix me. So sorry for my kid story addicted readers, but really, this IS about my kids. It's about being there for them when they're grown up and have kids of their own.
Well, my other friend messaged me back. She's quite supportive cheerleader, health advocate, and amazing mom. Her first words were "Don't do Bikram. It's really not for beginners."
I'm glad to know my internal terror wasn't totally irrational. She then asked if I'd done anything about the community center.
And today I did, sort of.
Today I took my 3 & 5 year old to the community center to play at the indoor playground. Both on the way in and on the way out they had their noses pressed to the glass of the closed "child watch" area like Charlie at the chocolate shoppe. I consider this a good sign.
I picked up a class schedule and went home to discuss options with my husband.
He has given the financial go-ahead to do classes in the mid-morning with childcare because
1) I am NOT an early morning person. I'm rarely fully conscious before 7:30 am, let alone capable of dressing and driving to a 5:45am class.
2) Our evenings are kinda shot, with church, scouts, sports, chores, school activities, and well, possibly, maybe, a little family time once in a while?
3) For weekends, see evenings.
4) My dear husband is somewhat jealous of his time with me. He feels my Wed night women's Bible study and his Thursday night basketball is sufficient evening separation...really one more evening than he's truly comfortable with. Adding a Yoga class might destress me, but leaving him with all six kids would probably erase that effect rather quickly.
5) More scheduled daytime stuff would probably be a good idea for our two preschoolers, who at this moment can recite the entire morning lineups of PBS, disney jr, and nick jr. (I swear this is only a winter condition. As the weather warms we do spend most of our time outside doing more constructive activities. This afternoon they played for over an hour in their mud hole in front of the shed. Yet somehow, building your own pigpen and pretending to be pigs is not part of the official school readiness program, so again, more structured social time might not be a bad thing.)
6)I'm hoping that by exercising early in my day, my energy levels will stay in a higher gear for longer. Maybe I could get by with 1 can of diet soda in the afternoon instead of 3. Just maybe.

I've done all I am going to for this for now though. The next real thing on my agenda is our camping trip to Texas next week. After that, I'll fill my water bottle, buy a yoga mat and maybe some water shoes, and see how it goes.

The fix me project

2011-03-08T14:43:00.003-06:00

Right now, I'm assessing options for a "fix-me" project. I'm still a member at Sparkpeople. My spark has just kind of been fizzled. With warm weather coming, I get the itch to exercise again. I always enjoy walking, but it's more recreational than anything. So far I've looked into step aerobics, curves, jazzercise, and most recently, been considering yoga. Yoga theoretically can help with arthritis and anxiety issues, so it seemed like a good idea for me to try. I even e-mailed my two most qualified exercise addicted friends with my very serious question, "Do you know of a yoga class for whales?"
One friend did not reply. She doesn't know me that well though. However, the other one, the one who's known me for 20 years, but not seen me in the 14 I've been married, did.
"You have to try Bikram Yoga! It totally kicks your butt but is sooo awesome."
Okay. If it totally kicks your butt, what is it going to do to mine? I can't wear jeans and tie my shoes without bending into the forbidden "w" sitting position. I've seen the rabbit pose. This body is more like the carrot, okay marshmallow.
"It's hot yoga. The room is 105 degrees w/ 40% humidity."
Love you dear, but I'm 90lbs heavier than when you last saw me. Are you sure I won't melt?
"It's a 90 minute class."
Okay, 90 minutes + driving without any kids. Now THAT sounds decadent, luxurious, perhaps a bit selfish though. But I have kids. Even next fall when miss P starts K. What will I do with the tornado?
"We have people of ALL fitness levels!"
Okay, I'll think about it. After I take my six kids tent camping for 5 days next week. Of course, to some people that sounds equally impossible. And I'd like to be able to keep doing what I do, camping, walking, playing soccer with my kids. I'd like to be a walking leader at camp without feeling like death for the first three days. But isn't there a beginner's yoga?
Bikram is pretty hard core. My core hasn't been hard in years, if ever. It's more soft and cuddly.
And Bikram doesn't come cheap either. I month of unlimited Yoga for me is about 1.5 months
at a community center for my whole family.
"But Yoga is all about bare feet."
Ah, hit me where it hurts. You KNOW how I hate shoes!
What to do, what to do????
Feedback welcome. It's been a while since I've heard from some of you.

Kids, sometimes they are smarter than us.

2011-03-08T14:24:00.002-06:00

My son is more competent today than I am. As in the 12 year old who's still recovering from a two day mega-illness.
I spent 20 minutes trying to open the battery compartment of our new air pump so I can turn our living room into a bounce house...I mean, try to find an air bed that doesn't leak. He popped it open in 30 seconds. Then he opened the batteries for me. Then I looked at the pump w/ the batteries in it, and saw they moved too much. My darling husband had bought "C''s. The pump required D's. Such is how my return from "brink of consciousness" life sucking illness has begun.
He supervised his 3& 5 year old siblings on the computer after lunch. My legs fell asleep in the bathroom.
He has quietly helped me look for the keys to the van, so I could go get batteries. Neither of us has had any luck yet. I'm mentally freaking out thinking "no keys, no van, no camping, aargh."
He just looks at me and says "they'll turn up mom."
I'm sure they will, but when will I?

Happy Birthday Princess P

2011-03-03T22:28:00.002-06:00

I love preschoolers. I love their honesty and enthusiasm. I love their curiosity and lack of fear. I love how affectionate and open they are, and that they like what they like. The world be damned.
Little miss P definitely encompasses all of these traits with gusto.
She's a determined little fireball. (This goes both ways on the parent scale. )
She's a cuddlebug and a diligent "mommy." (Just try to throw away a stuffed animal in this house...just try. Somebody is going to fish it out and hide it so you don't repeat your "mistake.")
Her first questions of the day are
"What are we doing todays? Are we going to church? Park? Is it one o'clock yet? (Her time for being on the computer.)"
Closely following the daily schedule interrogation is
"I hungry. Breakfast?"
Miss P is a lover of food. Unfortunately not all food loves her.
She's resigned to her fate sort of, except for the milk thing. Dang it, if Si Guy can eat yogurt she should be able to too! So once in a while I hear
"Mom, my tummy hurts." (Sigh.)
That's what happens when you eat ...(cheese, yogurt, pudding)
"I know mom. Won't do 'gain."
She loves companionship, whether human, stuffed, or doll...all are family to her. That's something I hope she hangs onto. That people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and all of us want to be loved.
"I love you mommy! Nigh'"
"I love you too princess." Don't change a thing.

Sometimes that warm fuzz is attached to a skunk.

2011-02-07T09:43:00.002-06:00

Last week was, um a challenge. Oddly enough, it wasn't the three snow days that brought me down. Day 1 brought a much cleaner house. Day 2 was an indoor pool w/ an extra kid and adult. But day 3 definitelty started my personal avalanche.
There is not much worse than a flat tire at 9am when you have 2 dentist appointments for kids at 10:30 which had to be scheduled three months in advance. (Yes our kids dentist is that cool.)
Yet there were many things about this that showed God doesn't give us more than we can handle.
1) It was a snow day, therefore Mr. M was working from home
2) I didn't have any kids with me
3) It was at 9am in Wal-Mart's parking lot, not 10:15 half-way to the appt.

Mr. M came and rescued me and the carseats. I'd return to deal with van later. The kids got to the dentist on time. Not that I looked forward to a screaming tied-down three year old, but the insurance said no pay for the hospital, so I didn't have much choice. (That was part 2 of the day's trauma, and we have to do THAT two more times, ick.)

Mr. M went back and retrieved the spare wheel. He thought the tire was bad, so off I went to Boulevard Tire on SW Boulevard. They reported the tire is fine, and didn't even charge me to look at it, clean it up, and fill it. Score.
So then it was back to put on the tire. And then I went to put air in the tires. They all had about 20 ppi pressure when they were supposed to have 50. I suppose that may have contributed to the flat.
Friday everything seemed to go back to normal...except mr. Si found a screwdriver and took apart the doorknob to the front door. Guess what Dad's evening project was?
Then Saturday broke us. Girl Scout cash out with half our profits still sitting in boxes in our leader's apt and the back of my car. Screaming four year old...into the minute clinic. Doube. Ear. Infection. UGH. And then coming home to find out Mr. M had lost his wallet, and our "living fund" for this week. Double UGH.
Sunday went pretty well. I was Mrs. F in kidz world and got to get flour dumped down the front of my shirt for a laugh. The kidz all came home w/ "crazy bands" to share for their kindness object lesson. We had beans for linner. But I was still broody and broken from the events of the previous few days. I vented to a friend, and she helped us out. I told her, "I'm venting, not begging" and she just smiled. Mr. M found his wallet this morning at the bank.
I feel pretty warm and fuzzy right now, but it certainly stunk to get here.

What leaving fast food jobs has done for us

2011-01-26T09:30:00.003-06:00

Mr. M & I are far from health food icons. However, from what we've seen, we do feed our children better than the average bear. We started young and idealistic. Our oldest thought whole grain graham crackers were cookies until he started preschool. Over the years, and with additional siblings, the standards have relaxed some from that day. Yet what I consider our biggest success isn't with my children anyway. It's with my husband.
When we were first married, Mr. M had borderline high blood pressure. His current numbers, even though he's in his 40's instead of his 20's is in the "safe" zone. So what changed?
It wasn't his exercise habits. If anything, he's less active now than ever. (Not something we're proud of, just a fact.)
No, what we've changed is a) what he eats and b) his stress levels. Leaving the fast food industry was the best thing we've ever done for my husband's health.
What the restaurant industry doesn't share is how it kills it's employees two ways. 1) Free/reduced priced food. 2) Overtaxing their bodies There are reasons those jobs pay well for the education they require.
One of the easiest ways to lower blood pressure is bring your sodium consumption down to a (more) reasonable level. Eliminating fast food does wonders for this. Working in fast food, odds are a person is eating there once or twice a day, because well...it's cheap or free and they aren't paid overly well. They're still jobs aimed at low education levels after all. Odds are, that person will eat less fat too after leaving. And just the grease in the air can't be a good thing IMHO.
The work is physically taxing too. I have pre-carpal tunnel from all my years cashiering in various fast foods. It's not documented as well as with office employees/retail but is probably at a higher prevalence. These peeps just can't afford to pay for the treatment, and it's hard to prove a single job liable, since most people in this industry change jobs fairly regularly. The constant availability expected of employees with more seniority probably has something to do with that. Part of why I quit my last job was because they refused to cut my hours. I still think Mr. M's hernia surgery was related to that work, but again, hard to prove...but he never went back...and has been much happier since. I too, broke down from the exhaustion and constant time on my feet. This work was not for the middle aged.
I've also spent a fair amount of time waiting tables. In general, the higher tier the restaurant, the better you were treated. There were also more healthy options available, more breaks with shorter/split shifts, and better money. While it still shares some of the hazards of fast food, it's easier to eschew them.
Yet even after all this, the kids love their biweekly fries. Hopefully that's the only fast food legacy we leave behind.

Snow, glorious snow.

2011-01-25T10:40:00.002-06:00

One thing I love about being a SAHM. I can still love snow. I don't have to go out every day and battle it on the roads. I don't have to scrape my own car very often. So the adult bitterness against it never really set into my life.

Why do I love snow? I have six kids. How could I not?

In younger kids, snow means little eyes peering over the windowsill, jaws dropped in wonder.
Such pretty, drifty, sparkly stuff. They just have to get a closer look. So, wrapped up like a mummy in layers of underclothes, clothes, snow clothes, hats, mittens, scarves, boots, they venture out moving like little stiff robots. Then the inevitable happens. One mitten comes off, and they have to touch it.
"Ow! It cold!" "Mamma!" (waddling back to the door.)
In we go to run hands under warm water and reinforce the idea of dressing for the weather.
Now with some kids it's their feet, because they refused to wear boots...but the results pretty much the same. I think I must be a little bit of a sadist to find this funny.
In school age kids, the snow brings the inevitable question "Are they going to cancel school?"
The parent answer is "I don't know. we'll see."
The parent thought is more definite. Either "Yeah, right, for half an inch of fluff that will melt by morning" or "What insane bus driver will be out in 4" of snow on the road. Yes! It's canceled, but that doesn't mean you're going anywhere kid."
There is a certain satisfaction of getting out of bed in the morning and turning off the kids alarms though. Or when they start stirring saying "Go back to sleep. There's no school today."
I kind of love those snuggle down under the covers, group sleep mornings.
The problem is they're followed by the severe cabin fever afternoons.
The first day they can stomp in the yard and build snowmen.
The second day they can poke sticks in the snow in the back yard.
By the third though, we're all in trouble.
This year though, on many of those afternoons, they've been rescued by an angel of light, or at least a friend of mine that's an EMT. He took them sledding. And when I see the pics of joy from that I just can't hate snow. It brings too much joy to my kids.

Parenting seminar topics?

2011-01-21T14:52:00.003-06:00

I recently had a friend suggest in humor, that I could probably teach them a trick or two. Truthfully the phrases she used in her post were foreign.

Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.

Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.

Why I married a hermit

2011-01-20T22:09:00.002-06:00

Every now and then, some acquaintance of mine will ask why I married Mr.M. (or am still married to him.) Don't judge the person asking here. They generally don't know him well.
They just see the contrast in our personalities, and know we have some separate hobbies.
Maybe they met him at a party where he sat in the corner with a book, barely grunting a greeting to anyone. Maybe they've known me a while and still haven't met him at all.
I have to admit, from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem to make sense. Yet, I can't imagine my life without him.

The short answer is God chose him for me..
These people are rarely satisfied by the short answer.
So here's the long answer.

A long time ago, I wrote a list. I was sick of dating. So, I wrote a list. I wrote a list of attributes I wanted in a husband. I was not ever going to get seriously involved with another man romantically unless he matched up to that list. I put the list in a drawer. I forgot about it.
About 6 months later I met my husband. About six months after that we were married.
About 5 years ago, in the process of moving I found the journal with that list. My husband has every single trait I asked God for in a husband. I was given exactly what I wanted.
I did not put down extrovert. And truthfully, I'm glad Mr. M is what he is.
He's centered, emotionally stable, hard working, loving & kind.
While he's not a beacon of encouragement and enthusiasm, he's not critical or afraid to get his own hands dirty to get things done. The man never curses or complains. Ever.
He's patient & considerate. He's the one who explains things for the millionth time, and washes the hand wash dishes. If the washer is in the basement, he does the laundry, because he knows stairs are hard for me and that bugs and concrete floors creep me out.
He's brilliant. We can converse on any topic intelligently, and he won't be offended if I get a little "intense". He knows I'm not angry. I'm passionate. We rarely disagree, so often one of us plays "devils advocate."
We both work hard at learning about the other one's interests. He's watched an episode of Grey's (even though med shows make him turn green.) I've learned about NBA basketball.
Sometimes we pick up something new. (Never, in a million years, did I think I would be a secular fantasy fan.) Sometimes we don't. (He will never sing karaoke, ever. )
Bottom line though, is we've grown together over the years, and our lives are more intertwined now than ever....and that doesn't even touch the kids and what they've done to our relationship.

There are moments there that I could love him for the rest of my life for.
He's so sensitive to my needs he can reach out and wake me from a nightmare in his sleep.
Just pick a kid moment, any of them. Whether telling silly jokes with the older boys, reading Si Guy his "truck book" or miss D her purple daisy bible, or letting Miss P "help" clean or cook.
Sometimes, I can "feel" him praying....and the peace that comes with it.
We can't beat God's best for us, and I know that I know that I know my husband is God's best for me. I just hope I am the same for him.

My kids thoughts on marriage.

2011-01-13T21:08:00.002-06:00

"Mom. I'm NEVER going to get married."

okay.

"Maybe I'll get married, but I won't have kids."

okay.

"Can I have kids without getting married?"

Kinda hard. Since you're a boy.

"oh."

Raising kids is a two person job anyway.

"Yeah, but I want to be the one who stays home and plays on the computer."

Gee, Thanks.

"I'm not going to kiss a girl until I get married."

That's fine.

"But that's like forever away."

Mhmm. That's okay. We'd rather you didn't date until college anyway.

"I think I can handle that, but I want to marry O. Okay?"

"Why can't I be the mom?!"

"Because you're a boy!"

"That's sexist!"

"You have to be married before you can have a baby."

"DO NOT!"

"Do so!"

Not really, but it's a good idea.

"Told ya so."

"Really? Mommy, you're joking right. How can people have babies without being married? That's just silly."

"Mom. I want to get married someday, but I don't want to do that yuck stuff you and dad do okay?"

Okay.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T23:33:00.002-06:00

Written on 1-1-11. :)

2011 is here. This should be a big year in our house for many reasons.

a) We should finally be moving into our REAL home..the one I intend to grow old in.
b) Our oldest son is leaving elementary school, entering 7th Grade, turning 13!
No more Kidz Choir plays, he's movin on up to YOUTH! Please let him continue to make good choices at school too.
c) Our younger daughter, Princess P, starts kindergarten. This leaves me with just Si Guy for half a day each day. Hope he doesn't get too lonely. Heck, hope I don't get too lonely, or crazy. Might be a little late for crazy though.
d) Si Guy will finally finish potty training....Our home will diaper/pull up free for the first time in, well, about 13 years. Part of me LOVES this. Part of me hates it. No diapers, means no babies after all, and I'm a confirmed infant addict. Fortunately I have a few friends with babies right now, so I can ease off them gradually. Not sure whether to dance or cry.
e) We *may* take a real, just because vacation with some friends for the first time, ever. (If the week Mr M is not on pager is not a kids camp week.) We will take a day or two to see family, ((how could be be in WI and not??) but for the most part it'll be a purely recreational trip, if it happens.
f) Even if the above doesn't happen, we will take a family camping trip, because our kids will tar ,feather, and duct tape us to our beds in our sleep if we don't. That though, will be taking a spin on the "wheel o' relatives!" Texas? Wisconsin? California? Indiana? North Carolina? So many destinations, so little money and time...

Wherever we go, whatever we do, God knows what's best and it'll be great. It's all good, all the time. 2011, here we come! Ready or not.

I did not inherit the gift of wrapping.

2010-12-25T00:16:00.004-06:00

My mom is a fantastic gift person. She has a knack for picking the right thing, and has always had wrapping down to an art. I remember as a kid looking on in awe as she wrapped gifts, from her perfectly organized tote o' rolls and color coordinated curling ribbon...always curled just so by her wrapping scissors. If I was really good, I could hold down the ribbon while she tied it just so. Her gifts were dressed for the best.
She did her best to teach me the fine art of wrapping. Buying quality paper with cheater guides on the back, crisp folding, and of course, how to curl the ribbon just so. 30 years later I still can't cut a straight line. I buy my wrapping paper at dollar tree. I CAN curl ribbon, but usually don't have any because anything resembling "web" in this house becomes one. The gift I just finished wrapping only has paper on five sides of the cube, because well, I can't find the "oversized" gift bag I bought for it.
So it's 12:20AM. I'm sitting here blogging, and I have all of FOUR of my kids nineteen gifts wrapped. (Miss D gets an extra because she didn't break the bank with her requests.) I have the stocking fodder in bags across the room, praying I get to them before Si Guy decides to move into our bed and realizes I'm not there. Moments like these, I appreciate my mom, and wish I could just wish her over here to do this for me. I need some pixie dust or something.
Hopefully the contents will make up for the packaging. Seven or eight hours from now it won't matter....the paper will be on the floor, later to be "rewrapping" gifts the kids "give" each other, made into paper dolls, or paper wads for a "snowball fight." We'll pick up after the fun, remembering the day and the King whom we celebrate. His initial wrapping wasn't too impressive either, but just look at the contents of THAT package.

Merry Christmas, and God Bless us every ONE!

2010-12-22T23:29:00.002-06:00

Or merry Thankmas as my dear MIL would put it. That said, I think both Thanksgiving & Christmas deserve their spot. Trying to put all that tradition and meaning in one holiday makes my head spin. So, here's the "shakespeare in a minute" version of the last couple of months, not necessarily in order or logical by any means.

Our Turkey day was thanktastic here. Since the thermostat on our oven went out, (all of 2 months after Mr. Landlord brought it over to replace the one that had been totally dead for 2 years....) Mr. M bought me a roaster oven as an early Christmas present so we could have a nice, big bird at home. Mr. 24lb tom lasted all of three days in our turkey loving home.
We had mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, and spiced apple cranberry sauce *new recipe*, absolutely delish! We had GF pumpkin bread, apple cranberry soup er cobbler, and cherry pie for dessert. A great meal with my great in-laws.
As much as I grouse about this house I am grateful to have 1700 square feet of space + basement+1 car garage + fenced in mostly flat back yard all of 1/2 block from the elementary school. I am grateful I have a laid back landlord that likes large families. That said, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and we "should" be in our "real" home by spring break! The contractors are in, working like buzzy bees. Best. Present. Ever! I will be sacrificing my family room, the vicinity to the school, and central air. BUT, I will be gaining my dream home, cheaper rent, a 5th bedroom, a dining room, a laundry room, and brand spankin new stainless steel appliances~ NO MORE DEAD OVENS FOR ME!!!!! Happy joy dance. All this and I got to pick the color for every single room in the house. Fresh paint, freshly refinished floors., plaster walls & molding...aaaahhhh. And last but not least, a second WORKING bathroom! A very critical addition with our older boys speeding towards adolescence.
The last few weeks have been rough here. Mr. M has had a cough for weeks. When he recovered from round one, I was out cold w/ the digestive issues going around. His round two was attacking full force as I was just grateful to be able to eat my first meal. I'm fine and frenetic now, while he's just been given a "stronger" antibiotic because the bacteria in his lungs figured out the first one. Maybe this year we should be saying Merry sick-mas. Here's hoping round two works out and we can avoid steroids and all that joy.
Because of this ick Mr. M missed Princess P's last preschool advent program. Once again, she was the "star', a role that suits her well. Si Guy and his buddy A were both shepards, but after the staff sword fighting at dress rehearsal they were both empty handed for the real show. (I'm glad I was at the dress rehearsal! Staff fighting to music was something to see...C'mon. What did they think would happen when they gave 2 3yo boys sticks with handles???)
Rewind two more weeks, and Isaiah had his last role in a "kids" program. Next year he'll be in YOUTH! Next year he'll be a teen! A new adventure for us all.
So thank you for being patient. And still reading. I'll try to post orderly thoughts occasionally after New Years. Because I have at least 4 "events" between now and then...but that's okay. It's STILL not as busy as football season was.

Happy Candy Day!

2010-11-01T11:13:00.003-05:00

I'm here. I'll surrender if the parenting police come to get me because I've clearly violated perfect parent principles. Sue me, but to my preschoolers today is candy day.

They did their work yesterday, walking through the trick or treat trail at Matt Ross Community Center in the afternoon, and hitting the neighborhood right at dusk. They paid their "reeces" tax to their father, and let me raid anything that hinted of caramel. They sorted their loot and negotiated their trades, and ate their first round. The thing is, Halloween is a really late night for those of us with an eight-o-clock bedtime. So most of the fun comes the day after.

November 1st is the real holiday after all. Halloween is all hallows eve, like Christmas Eve. So to honor the saints that passed before us, we spend the day in a sugar coma, induced by the all day eating of Halloween candy, in a coma-like state in front of the tv watching cartoons. That's the real treat.

The tricks will show up the next time I get down the scale.

TWELVE. Really?

2010-10-21T12:10:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday to our oldest. How we've enjoyed watching you grow. The most tumultuous waters are still ahead, but we think you'll come through just fine.
Isaiah Luke joined us 5:30ish in the afternoon. He was a happy, mellow, low maintenance baby. He's still a happy,mellow, low maintenance kid. A book and a flashlight and he's pretty much set. Some things about people never change.
But other things do.
Our oldest isn't as video game obsessed as he was a year ago. No, his new techno obsession is cell phones...especially texting. He celebrated my announcement of adding unlimited text to our plan by sending 150+ texts over that first weekend.
And his view of girls is morphing too. In years past he's had a very much "people are people, who cares about parts?" point of view. (He thankfully skipped the ew gross stage when he was younger.) Now he's very aware there's something "different" about girls, and that maybe he likes it. He's even flirting a bit, but I don't think he realizes that's what it is. After all, he's the kid who told me recently "I don't want to kiss a girl until I'm married." Pretty sure that will change in the next few years too.
Sometime over the course of this last year he's really become a pretty good companion too. He's starting to "get" parts of real world, and think his decisions through more. He asks good questions, and sometimes comes up with amazing answers on his own. I've always been fond of kid lit, and he's sharing his library books with me. We even want to see the same movies, well mosty. He is still a boy...and some movies he finds funny I just find, well gross. In other words, all is progressing normally.
Perhaps the best thing we've done together recently was attend KC's Ren Fest. We spent the day shopping, watching a joust, and throwing things, some of them shiny, sharp and pointy. His favorite part of the day was the bungee jump. I just stood back and watched him jump above the treetops, feeling a bit sick to my stomach. Yet that's what the future holds. Letting go, and watching him reach for the sky.

,

environmentalist health nut, me? (Part 1, )

2010-10-12T09:12:00.003-05:00

Um no. Anyone who's seen my cuddly form would know that. However, some aspects of our life certainly look that way on paper. I've always been fond of the mantra reduce, reuse, recycle.

Reducing and reusing just make good economic sense.
If you don't use something, you're not spending money on it. Buying larger packages and portioning into smaller ones reduces the price of some foods immensely. For $5 I can buy a can of nuts with 16 servings, or 6 "packets." Single serve does have it's place, but I didn't cave until I hit kid 5. My friend J warned me about this. Her mom always told her, "there's something about the 5th one". She was right.
That's really where reusing comes in. I've seen purses made out of Capri Sun pouches and plarn (plastic yarn made from shopping bags) is the "in" mommy craft right now. Grandma's drawer full of margarine tubs and Dad's babyfood jar screw sorting all fall into this category. Kids are experts at this. Who hasn't seen a shoe-box car or a toilet paper roll telescope or a wrapping paper roll light sabre?
Once they've beaten the cardboard to a bloody pulp, that's where recycling comes in.
Recycling is easier than ever. Most of us have curbside bins we don't even have to sort. There's a Ripple glass bin in the parking lots of local grocery stores. No sorting there either. Recycling is just like exercise. As Nike put it, "just do it."
Thanks to our fair city recycling is an economical measure too. Every item we're too lazy to rinse out and recycle draws us closer to the dreaded 1.50 "trash overage" bag. I confess to using about two of these bags a month, usually when we clean out the van...but in our defense, the trash bins are meant for four people and we have eight.
Recycling is also just a nice "thank you." to the earth and it's resources. Sure the earth is going to wear out, but why should we help it along? We shouldn't. We're stewards. See Genesis for the command, the gospels for what happens to stewards who don't take their stewardship seriously.
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Be green to save green. It's just common sense.

Super Saturday.

2010-10-11T11:38:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday was indeed super, with different parts of the day focused on each of the three musketeers.
At a bright, early, 7:30ish we were at a local racetrack sweeping the stands and picking up trash as a fundraiser for E2's football team. It took until about 9am for our "team" to complete the task. The boys had a good time and learned the association between work and reward. Certainly beats selling stuff in my opinion. My kids got a glimpse of how the "world" lives.
"Mom, I don't think I want to come here to watch races."
"Why not?"
"Look at all these beer cans. They must drink A LOT of beer!"
Ewwwww.
"And all those cigarettes. gross."
I'm glad my kids think beer and cigarettes are gross.

For the next phase of the day I took our almost 12-year-old son to Ren fest for his "birthday". Spot on perfect weather! He leaped lizards, bungee jumped, threw sharp and pointy things (okay I threw them too), and won an oriental dragon for his little brother. I window shopped extensively and watched him on well muscled-sweaty- shirtless man powered rides. We both had a great time. We brought home trinkets from the games for his siblings, so they didn't feel too left out.

In the evening I took E1 coat shopping, and came home with two shirts for our oldest. I promised him we'd try again, and really enjoyed having his critical eye along going through the clothing stores. Poor kid has taste. Better start saving his pennies now.

All in all it was a fantastic day: time alone with any of my kids is hard to come by.

It's so nice when it "feels like" FALL.

2010-10-04T19:46:00.002-05:00

There are many ways I can tell fall is really here.

1) I have a deep set desire to clean my house, while I can still do it with the windows open.
2) The air conditioner has been off for several days, and the heat is not on yet.
3) "Pumpkin pumpkin in the patch, pumpkin pumpkin on the vine...."
4) Louisburg Apple Cider abounds in the grocery store.
5) Seasonal clothing rotation has begun. Out with the tanks and sandals. In with the sweatshirts and light jackets.
6) We need to buy Zyrtech in bulk.
7) Winter squash abounds at the farmers market.
8) I'm getting party planning e-mails from PTA.
9) The kids are discussing/arguing/begging about Halloween costumes.
10) Our fair city has deemed it 12 bag of yard waste month. (Oh how I wish this extended into NOVEMBER.)
11) The "it's fine" "i'm hot" "I'm cold" battle is brewing amongst our oldest three sons.
12) The kids are spending more time outdoors than in.
13) Football practice has been moved back 1/2 hour, due to "getting dark earlier."
14) I bought my sport boys long sleeved underarmor.
15) I'm seriously considering hosting a partylite candle party, because well, what's fall without candles, lots of them?!
16) Cinnamon is the "spice of the month."
17) We're going through more cocoa.
18) I'm craving pie. Warm, apple pie. Pumpkin pie. Chicken pot pie. any pie will do. Unless it's sold under a barber shop.
19) Cool room. Warm comforter. mmmm.
20) It just smells good. Crisp air in the morning, outside breezes mixed with cleaning supplies in the afternoon. Hot apple cider or hot chocolate in the evening, especially with popcorn. So many other wonderful autumnlicious smells. So glad that we're just starting to fall into fall.

A heart to God and a hand to man

2010-09-21T01:23:00.002-05:00

This is our family mantra.

Matthew 22:36-40 (NASB)

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"
..."YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND."
"This is the greatest and foremost commandment.
The second is like it. 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'
On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the prophets."

It's all about love people. Love is the basis of well, everything....and it's what we're supposed to be known by.

John 13:35

"By this all men will know you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Oh, and another thing. Real love has legs.

Proof of our love is keeping His commandments. (John 14 :15 and the six other times John repeated this.)

Sometimes I think the church has forgotten that our primary mandate other than loving God is to love and care for our fellow man. Yet my Sunday school class gives me hope that this isn't true.
*There's the guy who's late most mornings because he's giving a newly non-homeless person a ride to work.
*Our teacher, an artist, puts on shows to support "Laundry Love" another homeless ministry.
* A couple that's preparting to go to Jordan as missionaries is actively involved in the international student ministries at UMKC, helping provide household goods, local information, and just plain old fellowship to the international students.
*Almost every person involved in the class serves "somewhere" within our branch of the body.

Our class plea seems to be "Please let us be real servants, not just seat-warming Pharisees."
All I can say is AMEN.