What is it about scissors?

What is it about scissors and some paper that can keep a three year old occupied for hours? (and me too, unclogging the vacuum hose later.)

Princess is P is sitting behind me this morning, very importantly cutting out shapes and writing "letters" on them to her friends. Like any budding author, the first several renditions get crumpled and pitched.
She comes over to me. "More Pape! More paper. Pleeeeasse."
Pretty soon the floor starts looking like it's snowed inside.
Finally she draws something she's satisfied with, and leaves it uncut, uncrumpled, and spends forever putting together the final details.
We may have a real author in this family yet.

The floodgates of fall are starting to be opened.

Football has officially started. Our oldest had his first "conditioning" practice yesterday. After it he was hot, sweaty, and smiling. He's ready to go back today. I think we may have finally found something for our bookish video game junkie to do for exercise without complaining. Or is it that I told him if he made it through this week without complaining he could pick the snacks and the movie we watch at home on Friday night?

His coach told us this week was the only week it would be every day. Starting next week it would be MWF at 6. Hmmm. Flag practice is MW at 6.....at a different school. Dance is 4-6 on M or W. Anyone know how to teleport? In reality, it will be okay. Our oldest will just be dropped off a little early, with a cell phone in case he needs to call us.

It's hard to believe that our kids do so much stuff now we "need" two cars, and we "need" a third cell phone for when we have to drop one off. Does this mean we're too busy? That we don't know how to say no, or find your own ride? What's it going to be like when Mathletics starts, and student council, and scouts, and band? 5th grade seems awefully young to be this busy. I don't remember having that many activities in the fire until high school. They're all good things, but is it too much?

So far, he seems to handle it well. His best grades last year were when he was the busiest. No matter what he'll find time to read, hang with his friends, and play on his DS....when he finds it.

Si Guy has a thing for M words....

His favorite words of late are "mine" and "monkey." Last weekend at the zoo, everything was a "bird", "deer", "kitty", or "monkey" to him. Monkey was by far his favorite. Maybe because he can relate to them.

Si guy is still in baby explorer phase....but he's starting to have intent. He's careful to wait until he thinks I'm busy to raid the fridge. He's gotten quieter at dismantling bookshelves. He is gleeful when he finds a marker and just can't wait to find a surface to draw on, whatever surface that may be. Monkey describes him well.

Mine, his other favorite word, generally is reserved for drinks and people. My drink. My mom. It's nice to know I rank so high.

Yesterday, he tried to get in the van to go back to the zoo. "Monkey! Monkey!" Si, you can see a monkey whenever you want. Just look in the mirror my son. Just look in the mirror.

My big boy is home

This week, I finally have my big boy home for the rest of the summer. On Monday, Mr. M was home too. What bliss.
On Tuesday, I tried to catch up on some housework.
Yesterday, we dragged out the kiddie pools. He blissfully floated for about an hour on a floatie in about 18" inches of water. I wish I had a good camera. It was great. Him sitting in the tire, with the dolphin floatie rested around his head like a crown.
Tonight, he starts at Football Factory. My sweet, gentle boy wants to play football. The kid who hated being accidentally tripped in soccer, wants to intentionally ram into boys that are his size and bigger. Kind of scary to me.
Saturday he'll officially be signed up and get his pads. Now it's true, boy #3 plays football, but that's flag. This is tackle.
Either he's going to man up or get hurt.
Not that our oldest hasn't been growing up in big ways. He got all his siblings breakfast this morning. He takes out the trash. He settles disputes. He does his homework without me breathing down his neck, even in summer.

Soccer was easier for me to take, but at least in football he has pads....and he plays where his brother plays. So this fall, it won't be quite as crazy. Princess D is taking dance the same day as Bob too. This is instead of soccer. We might even have an evening at home.
I know my kids are growing up, and making their own choices. My job is just to provide them with the tools to do well at what they choose.

Sometimes it's hard.
Especially when I feel their choices aren't suited to their abilities or natures.
But sometimes being exposed to something different makes them stronger.

I'm lovin the Vibe

Dh's new car is a Pontiac Vibe. I LOVE driving it. It's responsive, has a good radio and climate controls, is comfortable, what's not to like? I confess to extending errands over the last couple of days just to get some more time in the driver's seat.

He's still kind of shy with it. Not that he misses his old car. The Vibe gets much better gas milage, won't abandon him for no reason, and is absolutely beautiful. He likes the radio, the interior controls for the mirrors, and how comfy the car is. It's just, well, it's a manual transmission. He's never driven one regularly before. He kind of likes his life to be automatic.

Today after work he was smiling though. I think he'll get used to having more control.

Why do I have to clean something to feel accomplished?

and other strange things I dwell on.

Why must we change that food stained/grass stained outfit RIGHT NOW, five times a day?

Why do I have to clean something to feel accomplished, even if I read stories, took the kids to the park, paid bills, scheduled appointments, chauffered a birthday party and researched a car?

Why is it the first words out of my mouth any time I clean are "BUT I JUST CLEANED THAT!?"

Why don't kids count as something when it comes to cleaning? Because they're someones?

Does it really matter if we eat hot dogs for dinner two days in a row?

Should kids have allowances? Should they be tied to chores? What about grades? What about "because you're part of this family and I said so?"

Are there expressions that should be banned from future use in parenthood?

Is it possible to raise kids who are better than us? (Man, I hope so!)

Why can't faith be passed through an IV like a blood transfusion?

Is life more like a choose your own adventure book or an elaborate novel?

Does the laundry ever end? Or at least all make it to the basement?

Are we sure today isn't Monday?

(mock Shania Twain on the way....)

Honey. I'm ready for you to be at home.

It's 10 o clock
I've stopped to take stock
There's cheese on my floor and my patience is shot
There's Boomerang on when it's s'posed to be Noggin
The house is a mess but I digress

This job is worth the pain
For the hugs at the end of the day
Maybe a shot of Tanqueray?

Hey, what do you say?

Honey when your home I need a break
Girl cut her hair and Si got away
Busted a phone, lost a comb
Sometimes I hate being on my own

Honey come home at lunch today
Si washed his hair w/ stuff for carpet stains
Too wet to play
Too hyper to stay
I need a break.
Hey, Honey come home.

This is where we're at.

Today, after church and a little girl friend's birthday party, Mr. M attempted to install a new radio in my van. Isn't that the sweetest anniversary gift?

In reality, he was trying to retrieve his credit card. Thanks to a spousal communication error, I didn't realize he'd left his wallet in the car the other night. Silas found it, and decided to see if the van's CD player was an ATM machine.

Five hours, two screwdrivers, and two wal-mart runs later, we had his card back...but I had no radio for my car. We had to break it in the retrieval process...but hey, we found $1.04 in change in there too! We had bought a replacement, but we didn't get a volt checker??? Maybe we've blown a fuse. If you asked our kids, they probably would say we had.

So I have a shiny new JVC in my van. Maybe we'll fix the fuse for my birthday. Happy Anniversary bear.

Here's to us.

A dozen years from our wedding day. The day where our best man couldn't find a tux until 10 am. The day I stayed up all night the night before because I just had to do all the reception table arrangements myself. The day our flower girl and ring bearer "traded" what they were carrying, so they would both make it to the altar. The day I took the shortest walk to the biggest change in my life. Where it wasn't all about me anymore. Husbands are great practice for kids. (So are wives by the way. I had a lot more growing up to do than he did.)

Marriage is the not beginning of the end. It is the end of the beginning...of us. Then we branch off and start so many other new beginnings, all entwined, all separate. We grow together. We grow apart. We intertwine with each others lives again, to support each other, to help each other, to see the beauty in each other. We are one, but we're not. Marriage is probably the best allegory we have for our relationship with God, or perhaps even the nature of the trinity itself. It is simple, but inexplicable. It is beautiful beyond measure to live in and through.

Marriage is not a form of bondage. It is a form of freedom.
Marriage is not monotony & boredom. It is depth and discovery.
Marriage is not an excuse to be mediocre....it is committing your life to excel for the good of another.

Marriage is not a joke, but it should be full of laughter.
Marriage is meant to be a haven, but not a place to hide.
Marriage is not something to enter lightly, for it is meant to last a lifetime.

Marrying Martin was the second best thing I've done in my life. I'm his number two too. We both share the first one, in our choice to follow Christ.

Momma's general parenting principles

Those of you who know us know our kids can be a tad well, uncivilized in toddler years, but then magically turn into very pleasant people once they're around 4-6. Overall though, all of kids try to listen and are compassionate, friendly, human beings, a fact I'm proud of and have heard comments on for years. If you're reading this, you're already in the upper half, as per our favorite preschool teacher, because you care enough to parent intentionally.

I've already done the biblical version of this, so this is our practical version...(although it does follow biblical principles.) So here's my unofficial, unsubstantiated, unprofessional, parenting guide, famously known as "What works for us." (Because I have been asked...not because I think I'm perfect. There's plenty of material within this blog to prove otherwise.)

1) Kids grow into your expectations. I don't mean that if you expect your kid to be Einstein, he'll be a scientific genius. I mean that if you have "good thoughts" and "good attitudes" towards your children...that you know they're a great kid, that they just sometimes have their moments...they feel that...and eventually they will want to be the kid you think they are. Parents have great power in kids self image...more than we realize. I'm not saying to totally ignore Tiny Timmy's pyro tendencies. I'm merely suggesting that we work very hard to find something positive in his personality to be our primary focal point, especially when talking to him and around him, which brings me to point 2.

2) Kids aren't deaf. Even babies and toddlers can get the gist of what you're saying about them. That's why it's so important to stay positive about our kids as a habit. I'm not saying we don't need to vent or seek advice or be overwhelmed from time to time. It's just around our kids is not the place to express that.

3) Kids want their parents attention. And will do anything that works. They are not out to get you. They are out to be noticed by you. If we ignore our kids when they want attention we will pay....We all know that. The trick is to know how to give them the attention they need while getting the stuff we need to get done done. I tend to err on the side of the kids, as my house will testify.

4) I am the only adult with only my child's best interests at heart. Now granted, there are times I have to balance this with my best interests or my spouse's, but in general you are your child's only true advocate. We had a child we knew had a language isssue. The school district didn't believe us, and told us he was just "stubborn." We took him to an allergist and our family doctor. A few changes in his diet and some speech therapy paid out of pocket, and he's a whole different kid....one who is called "just sweet" and "eager to please" by his school now. (We live in a totally different district now too. We homeschooled our oldest in district A. He attends in district B. Again, according to what's best for him.) Sometimes, doing what's best for my kid is a pain for me...but kind of like labor pain, the joy of seeing my child succeed is worth it.
Getting help when we need help falls under this category too.

5) To keep from getting upset, I always remember this quote from Vicki Iovine. "Consider all childish behaviors normal. Part of our jobs as parents is to discourage those normal behaviors that are destructive or annoying to us or others." Really, your kid is not the first to turn on the stove with wooden utensils on it, climb on the roof naked, drink children's Benedryll, or cut a cord with kitchen shears....while plugged in. You can bet none of these things will happen twice in our household though! A calm parent is an effective parent. A purple, crying, pleading parent is a very entertaining parent. They just might repeat the behavior just to see you put on a show again. A yelling parent is a scary parent. Scared kids might be compliant at the time, but they grow up to build brick houses to keep the hot air out. We try to be as boring as possible when our kids are misbehaving. "Quiet mom" is not a good sign around here.

6) Make a big deal out of "small" achievements. What's small to us is not small to them. A stick figure on the fridge becomes a cartoon becomes a pencil drawing with shading becomes......well, you get the idea.

7) The carrot and the stick. Some people might call this natural consequences...but I believe a little engineering of the consequences isn't a bad idea now and then. "If...then" is a powerful phrase in parenting.
"If you are good in Sam's, then we'll have time to stop at Toy's R Us."
"If you get your room clean by x, then we will have time to go to the park." Then leave them alone in their room. It's hard...but I swear it works. It may not seem like it works the first few times, but like trying new foods, new discipline structures take some time for kids to adjust to. There is no magic bullet.
Sometimes a surprise carrot is in order. "Look, we got what we needed done here early! Let's stop by the arcade!"
But the stick shouldn't EVER be a surprise, that leads to.....

8) Kids are not psychic, or even particularly knowledgeable. They don't "know" how to act. They have to be taught. We make sure, that we as parents, are aware of what needs to be taught for each age and stage. Most of the time, kids really don't "know better." (especially true with the under six set!)

9) Back up rules by outside authorities whenever possible, especially with older kids. They like to know the why, but as they are asserting their independence, sometimes it's better if the why doesn't come from you.
Mr. M and I are rather conservative on the entertainment front. Our oldest has friends who have seen recent movies like Wolverine and the new Star Trek. He has not. He's disappointed, but not mad at us. Why? Well, we agreed to go by Common Sense Media's guidelines. http://www.commonsensemedia.org We said no because they said no. He can look up the reviews himself, and if he disagrees...he can appeal. So far we've only made one exception for him, but he's okay with that. (disclaimer, he's not a full-fledged teen yet...so we haven't fully applied this principle. We'll see where it goes.)

10) is really #1! Make sure your kids know you love them. Hug them. Hold them. Take them out to lunch. That verse about training up a child in the way he should go often drops an important part of the translation "according to his bend." Show them you know what their interests are, and help them develop the healthy ones. Show them how awesome you think they are, just as they are. They won't disappoint you.

blue skies and blue carpet.

It's amazing the range of emotions children can experience in a short time. They can go from crying to fascinated to happy to furious in just a few minutes. Sometimes, they take the adults with them along for the ride. The thing is, as adults, we aren't allowed to express the full emotional spectrum. My three preschoolers today have brought out an amazing range of behavior. Some of it warm fuzzy picture worthy, some of it tar and feather worthy. Well, maybe just glitter glue and carpet worthy.

Yes, this morning while I was finding Si shoes to go to the park, somebody dumped an entire bottle of elmers blue sparkly glue in the center of my living room carpet. Thing is, I didn't notice until we got home. I was just so happy to find shoes that fit Si and get out the door. Hey, he doesn't care if they're purple crocs w/ butterflies, why should I?

Perhaps it was good that I found this after the "warm fuzzy" experience. It wasn't so great to them that I wouldn't fix lunch until after it was cleaned up.
"Me help!"
"No, you go to your room. I'll call you guys when I'm ready."
"OooK!" Si is holding up my make up case....(and this is why my home will NEVER hit ground zero. It took me about an hour to clean up mess A. That's enough time for the destructive duo to make at least three other messes, especially w/ Diva girl directing.)
"Now Si. Let go please. That's a good boy." See, they are trainable...sort of.
At least the make up didn't end up smooshed into anything.

Lunch ended up being turkey and strawberries, w/ a bag of cereal dessert for Si, and chips for Phoebe. Diva girl refused to eat her sandwich because I didn't have any cheese with holes in it. I thought about taking a straw to our colby jack slices. I know what it's like to have Spiegel taste on a Wal-Mart budget.

So far the afternoon is going well. All is calm. The girls are cleaning their room w/ Si's help. Now, if I could just get a nap in.

It's no big deal, but it is.

This morning, our oldest child is off on his first overnight adventure without a parent/grandparent with him....a four day adventure. He's pumped. He didn't even argue about going to bed last night, and actually tried to sleep! He didn't say goodbye when he left this morning, because the babes and I were still sleeping. He's almost eleven. It's time to let him fly.

Mr. M went into work a bit late so he could drop him off. He's the most considerate man in the world, sparing me the waking and loading of three preschool aged kids in the morning...and having to have windshield wipers for my glasses because I'd probably be crying so hard on the drive home.
So far I haven't cried today, well over him. It's been a long time since I've had only preschoolers at home, and three of them! Ack. I'm not as young as I used to be.

Overall, the house has been pretty quiet. With the middle two boys at G'mas, and our oldest off to camp, the t.v. has been off all morning. Other than the mine wars, an overflowing sink, and an exploding diaper, the morning has been pretty incident free. All the littles ask for is some pretend play time and food. I wouldn't say it's slower, or less busy, just focused differently. There's so much to do, but no schedule we have to follow. It's a nice place to be. All the same, I'm ready for Thursday when my boy is back home.

I'm 5! And there's fireworks!

Princess D had her 5th birthday yesterday. She had just wrapped up "diva for a week" at one set of grandparents, and we were off to swim, eat, and hang out with another. She was the center of attention, and her siblings were okay with it. It was amazing. What was really amazing though, is down at the lake they were doing fireworks a day early, on July 3rd. She was convinced it was just for her. We told her the story of bringing her home on the fourth of July, and watching the county fireworks display from our driveway.
She made off like a little bandit too. She had a brand new camera from us. She had a new scooter that's purple from grandma and grandpa W. But the present that took the cake was from my parents. They gave her a music box, with a dancing Cinderella. She didn't know such an amazing thing existed. She'd open the lid, and just watch her dance. Then close it and wind it, (by rotating the entire box.) Then she'd just open it and stare in wonder again. Grandpa W tried to get her attention for a photo shoot, but she was too absorbed in this new miracle. A box. That was just hers to put her stuff in....and it made music. What a miracle.

I'm sure the music box will be a favorite for years to come. Even after Cinderella doesn't dance anymore. A little space of your own is an amazing thing when you share a room. For Princess D, I think this was the best birthday ever.