One thing I love about being a SAHM. I can still love snow. I don't have to go out every day and battle it on the roads. I don't have to scrape my own car very often. So the adult bitterness against it never really set into my life.
Why do I love snow? I have six kids. How could I not?
In younger kids, snow means little eyes peering over the windowsill, jaws dropped in wonder.
Such pretty, drifty, sparkly stuff. They just have to get a closer look. So, wrapped up like a mummy in layers of underclothes, clothes, snow clothes, hats, mittens, scarves, boots, they venture out moving like little stiff robots. Then the inevitable happens. One mitten comes off, and they have to touch it.
"Ow! It cold!" "Mamma!" (waddling back to the door.)
In we go to run hands under warm water and reinforce the idea of dressing for the weather.
Now with some kids it's their feet, because they refused to wear boots...but the results pretty much the same. I think I must be a little bit of a sadist to find this funny.
In school age kids, the snow brings the inevitable question "Are they going to cancel school?"
The parent answer is "I don't know. we'll see."
The parent thought is more definite. Either "Yeah, right, for half an inch of fluff that will melt by morning" or "What insane bus driver will be out in 4" of snow on the road. Yes! It's canceled, but that doesn't mean you're going anywhere kid."
There is a certain satisfaction of getting out of bed in the morning and turning off the kids alarms though. Or when they start stirring saying "Go back to sleep. There's no school today."
I kind of love those snuggle down under the covers, group sleep mornings.
The problem is they're followed by the severe cabin fever afternoons.
The first day they can stomp in the yard and build snowmen.
The second day they can poke sticks in the snow in the back yard.
By the third though, we're all in trouble.
This year though, on many of those afternoons, they've been rescued by an angel of light, or at least a friend of mine that's an EMT. He took them sledding. And when I see the pics of joy from that I just can't hate snow. It brings too much joy to my kids.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Parenting seminar topics?
I recently had a friend suggest in humor, that I could probably teach them a trick or two. Truthfully the phrases she used in her post were foreign.
Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.
Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.
Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.
Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Why I married a hermit
Every now and then, some acquaintance of mine will ask why I married Mr.M. (or am still married to him.) Don't judge the person asking here. They generally don't know him well.
They just see the contrast in our personalities, and know we have some separate hobbies.
Maybe they met him at a party where he sat in the corner with a book, barely grunting a greeting to anyone. Maybe they've known me a while and still haven't met him at all.
I have to admit, from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem to make sense. Yet, I can't imagine my life without him.
The short answer is God chose him for me..
These people are rarely satisfied by the short answer.
So here's the long answer.
A long time ago, I wrote a list. I was sick of dating. So, I wrote a list. I wrote a list of attributes I wanted in a husband. I was not ever going to get seriously involved with another man romantically unless he matched up to that list. I put the list in a drawer. I forgot about it.
About 6 months later I met my husband. About six months after that we were married.
About 5 years ago, in the process of moving I found the journal with that list. My husband has every single trait I asked God for in a husband. I was given exactly what I wanted.
I did not put down extrovert. And truthfully, I'm glad Mr. M is what he is.
He's centered, emotionally stable, hard working, loving & kind.
While he's not a beacon of encouragement and enthusiasm, he's not critical or afraid to get his own hands dirty to get things done. The man never curses or complains. Ever.
He's patient & considerate. He's the one who explains things for the millionth time, and washes the hand wash dishes. If the washer is in the basement, he does the laundry, because he knows stairs are hard for me and that bugs and concrete floors creep me out.
He's brilliant. We can converse on any topic intelligently, and he won't be offended if I get a little "intense". He knows I'm not angry. I'm passionate. We rarely disagree, so often one of us plays "devils advocate."
We both work hard at learning about the other one's interests. He's watched an episode of Grey's (even though med shows make him turn green.) I've learned about NBA basketball.
Sometimes we pick up something new. (Never, in a million years, did I think I would be a secular fantasy fan.) Sometimes we don't. (He will never sing karaoke, ever. )
Bottom line though, is we've grown together over the years, and our lives are more intertwined now than ever....and that doesn't even touch the kids and what they've done to our relationship.
There are moments there that I could love him for the rest of my life for.
He's so sensitive to my needs he can reach out and wake me from a nightmare in his sleep.
Just pick a kid moment, any of them. Whether telling silly jokes with the older boys, reading Si Guy his "truck book" or miss D her purple daisy bible, or letting Miss P "help" clean or cook.
Sometimes, I can "feel" him praying....and the peace that comes with it.
We can't beat God's best for us, and I know that I know that I know my husband is God's best for me. I just hope I am the same for him.
They just see the contrast in our personalities, and know we have some separate hobbies.
Maybe they met him at a party where he sat in the corner with a book, barely grunting a greeting to anyone. Maybe they've known me a while and still haven't met him at all.
I have to admit, from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem to make sense. Yet, I can't imagine my life without him.
The short answer is God chose him for me..
These people are rarely satisfied by the short answer.
So here's the long answer.
A long time ago, I wrote a list. I was sick of dating. So, I wrote a list. I wrote a list of attributes I wanted in a husband. I was not ever going to get seriously involved with another man romantically unless he matched up to that list. I put the list in a drawer. I forgot about it.
About 6 months later I met my husband. About six months after that we were married.
About 5 years ago, in the process of moving I found the journal with that list. My husband has every single trait I asked God for in a husband. I was given exactly what I wanted.
I did not put down extrovert. And truthfully, I'm glad Mr. M is what he is.
He's centered, emotionally stable, hard working, loving & kind.
While he's not a beacon of encouragement and enthusiasm, he's not critical or afraid to get his own hands dirty to get things done. The man never curses or complains. Ever.
He's patient & considerate. He's the one who explains things for the millionth time, and washes the hand wash dishes. If the washer is in the basement, he does the laundry, because he knows stairs are hard for me and that bugs and concrete floors creep me out.
He's brilliant. We can converse on any topic intelligently, and he won't be offended if I get a little "intense". He knows I'm not angry. I'm passionate. We rarely disagree, so often one of us plays "devils advocate."
We both work hard at learning about the other one's interests. He's watched an episode of Grey's (even though med shows make him turn green.) I've learned about NBA basketball.
Sometimes we pick up something new. (Never, in a million years, did I think I would be a secular fantasy fan.) Sometimes we don't. (He will never sing karaoke, ever. )
Bottom line though, is we've grown together over the years, and our lives are more intertwined now than ever....and that doesn't even touch the kids and what they've done to our relationship.
There are moments there that I could love him for the rest of my life for.
He's so sensitive to my needs he can reach out and wake me from a nightmare in his sleep.
Just pick a kid moment, any of them. Whether telling silly jokes with the older boys, reading Si Guy his "truck book" or miss D her purple daisy bible, or letting Miss P "help" clean or cook.
Sometimes, I can "feel" him praying....and the peace that comes with it.
We can't beat God's best for us, and I know that I know that I know my husband is God's best for me. I just hope I am the same for him.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My kids thoughts on marriage.
"Mom. I'm NEVER going to get married."
okay.
"Maybe I'll get married, but I won't have kids."
okay.
"Can I have kids without getting married?"
Kinda hard. Since you're a boy.
"oh."
Raising kids is a two person job anyway.
"Yeah, but I want to be the one who stays home and plays on the computer."
Gee, Thanks.
"I'm not going to kiss a girl until I get married."
That's fine.
"But that's like forever away."
Mhmm. That's okay. We'd rather you didn't date until college anyway.
"I think I can handle that, but I want to marry O. Okay?"
"Why can't I be the mom?!"
"Because you're a boy!"
"That's sexist!"
"You have to be married before you can have a baby."
"DO NOT!"
"Do so!"
Not really, but it's a good idea.
"Told ya so."
"Really? Mommy, you're joking right. How can people have babies without being married? That's just silly."
"Mom. I want to get married someday, but I don't want to do that yuck stuff you and dad do okay?"
Okay.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
Written on 1-1-11. :)
2011 is here. This should be a big year in our house for many reasons.
a) We should finally be moving into our REAL home..the one I intend to grow old in.
b) Our oldest son is leaving elementary school, entering 7th Grade, turning 13!
No more Kidz Choir plays, he's movin on up to YOUTH! Please let him continue to make good choices at school too.
c) Our younger daughter, Princess P, starts kindergarten. This leaves me with just Si Guy for half a day each day. Hope he doesn't get too lonely. Heck, hope I don't get too lonely, or crazy. Might be a little late for crazy though.
d) Si Guy will finally finish potty training....Our home will diaper/pull up free for the first time in, well, about 13 years. Part of me LOVES this. Part of me hates it. No diapers, means no babies after all, and I'm a confirmed infant addict. Fortunately I have a few friends with babies right now, so I can ease off them gradually. Not sure whether to dance or cry.
e) We *may* take a real, just because vacation with some friends for the first time, ever. (If the week Mr M is not on pager is not a kids camp week.) We will take a day or two to see family, ((how could be be in WI and not??) but for the most part it'll be a purely recreational trip, if it happens.
f) Even if the above doesn't happen, we will take a family camping trip, because our kids will tar ,feather, and duct tape us to our beds in our sleep if we don't. That though, will be taking a spin on the "wheel o' relatives!" Texas? Wisconsin? California? Indiana? North Carolina? So many destinations, so little money and time...
Wherever we go, whatever we do, God knows what's best and it'll be great. It's all good, all the time. 2011, here we come! Ready or not.
2011 is here. This should be a big year in our house for many reasons.
a) We should finally be moving into our REAL home..the one I intend to grow old in.
b) Our oldest son is leaving elementary school, entering 7th Grade, turning 13!
No more Kidz Choir plays, he's movin on up to YOUTH! Please let him continue to make good choices at school too.
c) Our younger daughter, Princess P, starts kindergarten. This leaves me with just Si Guy for half a day each day. Hope he doesn't get too lonely. Heck, hope I don't get too lonely, or crazy. Might be a little late for crazy though.
d) Si Guy will finally finish potty training....Our home will diaper/pull up free for the first time in, well, about 13 years. Part of me LOVES this. Part of me hates it. No diapers, means no babies after all, and I'm a confirmed infant addict. Fortunately I have a few friends with babies right now, so I can ease off them gradually. Not sure whether to dance or cry.
e) We *may* take a real, just because vacation with some friends for the first time, ever. (If the week Mr M is not on pager is not a kids camp week.) We will take a day or two to see family, ((how could be be in WI and not??) but for the most part it'll be a purely recreational trip, if it happens.
f) Even if the above doesn't happen, we will take a family camping trip, because our kids will tar ,feather, and duct tape us to our beds in our sleep if we don't. That though, will be taking a spin on the "wheel o' relatives!" Texas? Wisconsin? California? Indiana? North Carolina? So many destinations, so little money and time...
Wherever we go, whatever we do, God knows what's best and it'll be great. It's all good, all the time. 2011, here we come! Ready or not.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
I did not inherit the gift of wrapping.
My mom is a fantastic gift person. She has a knack for picking the right thing, and has always had wrapping down to an art. I remember as a kid looking on in awe as she wrapped gifts, from her perfectly organized tote o' rolls and color coordinated curling ribbon...always curled just so by her wrapping scissors. If I was really good, I could hold down the ribbon while she tied it just so. Her gifts were dressed for the best.
She did her best to teach me the fine art of wrapping. Buying quality paper with cheater guides on the back, crisp folding, and of course, how to curl the ribbon just so. 30 years later I still can't cut a straight line. I buy my wrapping paper at dollar tree. I CAN curl ribbon, but usually don't have any because anything resembling "web" in this house becomes one. The gift I just finished wrapping only has paper on five sides of the cube, because well, I can't find the "oversized" gift bag I bought for it.
So it's 12:20AM. I'm sitting here blogging, and I have all of FOUR of my kids nineteen gifts wrapped. (Miss D gets an extra because she didn't break the bank with her requests.) I have the stocking fodder in bags across the room, praying I get to them before Si Guy decides to move into our bed and realizes I'm not there. Moments like these, I appreciate my mom, and wish I could just wish her over here to do this for me. I need some pixie dust or something.
Hopefully the contents will make up for the packaging. Seven or eight hours from now it won't matter....the paper will be on the floor, later to be "rewrapping" gifts the kids "give" each other, made into paper dolls, or paper wads for a "snowball fight." We'll pick up after the fun, remembering the day and the King whom we celebrate. His initial wrapping wasn't too impressive either, but just look at the contents of THAT package.
She did her best to teach me the fine art of wrapping. Buying quality paper with cheater guides on the back, crisp folding, and of course, how to curl the ribbon just so. 30 years later I still can't cut a straight line. I buy my wrapping paper at dollar tree. I CAN curl ribbon, but usually don't have any because anything resembling "web" in this house becomes one. The gift I just finished wrapping only has paper on five sides of the cube, because well, I can't find the "oversized" gift bag I bought for it.
So it's 12:20AM. I'm sitting here blogging, and I have all of FOUR of my kids nineteen gifts wrapped. (Miss D gets an extra because she didn't break the bank with her requests.) I have the stocking fodder in bags across the room, praying I get to them before Si Guy decides to move into our bed and realizes I'm not there. Moments like these, I appreciate my mom, and wish I could just wish her over here to do this for me. I need some pixie dust or something.
Hopefully the contents will make up for the packaging. Seven or eight hours from now it won't matter....the paper will be on the floor, later to be "rewrapping" gifts the kids "give" each other, made into paper dolls, or paper wads for a "snowball fight." We'll pick up after the fun, remembering the day and the King whom we celebrate. His initial wrapping wasn't too impressive either, but just look at the contents of THAT package.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Merry Christmas, and God Bless us every ONE!
Or merry Thankmas as my dear MIL would put it. That said, I think both Thanksgiving & Christmas deserve their spot. Trying to put all that tradition and meaning in one holiday makes my head spin. So, here's the "shakespeare in a minute" version of the last couple of months, not necessarily in order or logical by any means.
Our Turkey day was thanktastic here. Since the thermostat on our oven went out, (all of 2 months after Mr. Landlord brought it over to replace the one that had been totally dead for 2 years....) Mr. M bought me a roaster oven as an early Christmas present so we could have a nice, big bird at home. Mr. 24lb tom lasted all of three days in our turkey loving home.
We had mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, and spiced apple cranberry sauce *new recipe*, absolutely delish! We had GF pumpkin bread, apple cranberry soup er cobbler, and cherry pie for dessert. A great meal with my great in-laws.
As much as I grouse about this house I am grateful to have 1700 square feet of space + basement+1 car garage + fenced in mostly flat back yard all of 1/2 block from the elementary school. I am grateful I have a laid back landlord that likes large families. That said, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and we "should" be in our "real" home by spring break! The contractors are in, working like buzzy bees. Best. Present. Ever! I will be sacrificing my family room, the vicinity to the school, and central air. BUT, I will be gaining my dream home, cheaper rent, a 5th bedroom, a dining room, a laundry room, and brand spankin new stainless steel appliances~ NO MORE DEAD OVENS FOR ME!!!!! Happy joy dance. All this and I got to pick the color for every single room in the house. Fresh paint, freshly refinished floors., plaster walls & molding...aaaahhhh. And last but not least, a second WORKING bathroom! A very critical addition with our older boys speeding towards adolescence.
The last few weeks have been rough here. Mr. M has had a cough for weeks. When he recovered from round one, I was out cold w/ the digestive issues going around. His round two was attacking full force as I was just grateful to be able to eat my first meal. I'm fine and frenetic now, while he's just been given a "stronger" antibiotic because the bacteria in his lungs figured out the first one. Maybe this year we should be saying Merry sick-mas. Here's hoping round two works out and we can avoid steroids and all that joy.
Because of this ick Mr. M missed Princess P's last preschool advent program. Once again, she was the "star', a role that suits her well. Si Guy and his buddy A were both shepards, but after the staff sword fighting at dress rehearsal they were both empty handed for the real show. (I'm glad I was at the dress rehearsal! Staff fighting to music was something to see...C'mon. What did they think would happen when they gave 2 3yo boys sticks with handles???)
Rewind two more weeks, and Isaiah had his last role in a "kids" program. Next year he'll be in YOUTH! Next year he'll be a teen! A new adventure for us all.
So thank you for being patient. And still reading. I'll try to post orderly thoughts occasionally after New Years. Because I have at least 4 "events" between now and then...but that's okay. It's STILL not as busy as football season was.
Our Turkey day was thanktastic here. Since the thermostat on our oven went out, (all of 2 months after Mr. Landlord brought it over to replace the one that had been totally dead for 2 years....) Mr. M bought me a roaster oven as an early Christmas present so we could have a nice, big bird at home. Mr. 24lb tom lasted all of three days in our turkey loving home.
We had mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, and spiced apple cranberry sauce *new recipe*, absolutely delish! We had GF pumpkin bread, apple cranberry soup er cobbler, and cherry pie for dessert. A great meal with my great in-laws.
As much as I grouse about this house I am grateful to have 1700 square feet of space + basement+1 car garage + fenced in mostly flat back yard all of 1/2 block from the elementary school. I am grateful I have a laid back landlord that likes large families. That said, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and we "should" be in our "real" home by spring break! The contractors are in, working like buzzy bees. Best. Present. Ever! I will be sacrificing my family room, the vicinity to the school, and central air. BUT, I will be gaining my dream home, cheaper rent, a 5th bedroom, a dining room, a laundry room, and brand spankin new stainless steel appliances~ NO MORE DEAD OVENS FOR ME!!!!! Happy joy dance. All this and I got to pick the color for every single room in the house. Fresh paint, freshly refinished floors., plaster walls & molding...aaaahhhh. And last but not least, a second WORKING bathroom! A very critical addition with our older boys speeding towards adolescence.
The last few weeks have been rough here. Mr. M has had a cough for weeks. When he recovered from round one, I was out cold w/ the digestive issues going around. His round two was attacking full force as I was just grateful to be able to eat my first meal. I'm fine and frenetic now, while he's just been given a "stronger" antibiotic because the bacteria in his lungs figured out the first one. Maybe this year we should be saying Merry sick-mas. Here's hoping round two works out and we can avoid steroids and all that joy.
Because of this ick Mr. M missed Princess P's last preschool advent program. Once again, she was the "star', a role that suits her well. Si Guy and his buddy A were both shepards, but after the staff sword fighting at dress rehearsal they were both empty handed for the real show. (I'm glad I was at the dress rehearsal! Staff fighting to music was something to see...C'mon. What did they think would happen when they gave 2 3yo boys sticks with handles???)
Rewind two more weeks, and Isaiah had his last role in a "kids" program. Next year he'll be in YOUTH! Next year he'll be a teen! A new adventure for us all.
So thank you for being patient. And still reading. I'll try to post orderly thoughts occasionally after New Years. Because I have at least 4 "events" between now and then...but that's okay. It's STILL not as busy as football season was.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)