Last night was our third, and final, back to school night for this school year. Really, back to school night is one(okay, three) of the most anticipated/dreaded nights on my calendar. It's the first parent-teacher interaction, and since it's a group event you get to case out all the parents of those kids your kid hangs out with too. It's a form of group bonding trying to cram ourselves into those chairs/desks meant for people 1/4 of our size.
In elementary, this may not seem like such a big deal. There's a lot of in and out of the building and all the involved parents more or less know each other, or at least know another parent that is associated with the parents of the child in question. In middle school, it starts getting muddier, but the network is still there. By high school, the kids are more "out there" on their own...and each group of parents has their own "club" Oh, and there are more hormones. It's here the dating game often starts to get played....and your resources are fewer. So off you trudge to back to school night, because at this stage of the game, as a parent, you would walk across hot coals for every scrap of information about your child's world you can get.
High school was our first back to school night, and our oldest is a freshman so it was the night of grand first impressions...or not. More like I ran late in the garden, so i didn't have time to shower before the stampede of children with backpacks and interactive homework and cooking dinner that had to be ready by 4:45 because somebody has practice at 5:30... so yeah, I was kind of grubby. Probably smelly too. Mr. Man was hoping to go play basketball directly after so he wasn't exactly dressed for success either...and he ditched me after second hour...to take above mentioned kid with practice home...but he never came back. Let's just say I loved seeing all my parent friends in my kid's classes, saw some new parents, but with everyone in such a rush didn't really get a chance to get to know anybody I didn't know already. I met all the teachers, probably got labeled as the crazy mom with a couple. I find it a miracle that it was only a couple. I especially loved his Biology teacher.
Moving forward to Monday night, the middle school. Oddly enough, this is my comfort zone. Except, as I looked around I realized what caused my son's initial social angst was true. My darling seventh grader only has TWO of his previous classmates in ANY of his classes...(at least whose parents come to these kinds of things.) He has made friends though, so a fresh slate was a good thing.
He is one of two seventh graders in his Algebra class. I totally love his Algebra teacher. She's very outgoing and human. (Most Algebra teachers are Vulcan.) He only has two teachers his brother had and both of them admitted that he is a totally different child. One teacher said "They don't look alike. They have totally different personalities. If I didn't have the name on the roster in front of me I would never have guessed those two are siblings. Fortunately, I also have two VERY different kids, so I get it." Here's hoping next year, when there are fewer teachers teaching honors courses, they'll get it too. Oh yes, and he has strings with my favorite third grade teacher's daughter. A sweet night indeed.
Moving forward to last night. I was hoping for a divide and conquer, since the elementary is nice enough to offer two sessions for each classroom. Our school is brilliant in providing staff supervised entertainment for the kids so both parents can attend. Due to sibling issues, I ended up going it alone.So I'm sorry lovely teachers for my divided attention during the sessions, but I was doing two kids paperwork in each one. I went to 2nd and 5th grade, because we just had 1st and 4th last year. It was reaaally hard not to go to first though, because it was a different teacher and I didn't really feel like I got the vibe of it last year. Not to mention Si Guy is my baby and has never left me for an entire day before. I still feel like a stranger in a strange land in the lower grades at this school, but if there is one thing I have learned from this parenting gig is if one is to err in attention, err on the side of the older and/or less demanding child. You'll still feel like they get shorted in the end anyway. I still only get a C though, because I forgot to sign up for first grade conferences. Here's praying she still has a slot Thursday morning before 10 or around 11:30.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
The donation files part 2. (or when to say when when sorting.)
Today was the first day with real, live, school volunteers. I love these PTA ladies who swoop in to go through the unknown sitting in trash bags on the clothing center floor. Their efficiency and courage are to be admired. The center could never, ever, exist without them. Yet the one question they always have is, "Is this okay?"
In our last post, we covered the unbelievable things that escape the back room somehow. Today, let's look at the other foot. What is okay to put out, when "less than perfect." What got me going on this was an incident where I found some perfectly good girls jeans stuck in the cast off bag.
"What's wrong with these?"
"There was dirty underwear in the bag they were in."
(Uh, no there wasn't. That bag came from my house, and I loaded it directly from stuff that had just come out of the dryer. Now there might have been some stained clean underwear stuck inside a pair of pants that laundry man missed, but stained and clean is worlds different than dirty...but that's off topic. The point is, there was some horrible underwear related error.)
"Okay, but what was wrong with these?"
"Nothing."
"Then we need to hang them up. We can't just toss stuff because of what was around it."
(I would have gone back and rescued the scooters too, but I could tell we had hit this person's shock limit already. I bought those flippin things NEW.)
"How long have you been a chair?"
"Since last October."
"Okay."
Remember, I am the one who found the stained thong out on the display floor! I am sympathetic to the eww moments of used underwear. I folded up that t-shirt and put it back on the table. Our clients are shrewd. They will wash before they wear.
That followed one of our regulars bringing me some "but they're perfectly good jackets" with stains. We kept two, (one I couldn't even FIND what she was talking about. The other was totally in a
"discreet" location) set aside one for laundering (which I forgot to bring home), and pitched two (you don't want to know. shiver.)
Hitting both these extremes in one day made me think perhaps the standards need to be further clarified.
So for the shoe on the other foot rules...it's pretty simple.
1) Clothes, like people have to be judged on their own merits. One icky item in a bag doesn't mean pitch the whole bag.
2) Gently used is not the same thing as "new." Missing tags, slight fading, stretching,etc. is okay. Really. It adds character. We will happily accept donations of new/my kid didn't like it items though!
3) When deciding if a spot is "bad enough" to put something that is otherwise okay into the castoffs, origins and location are key. Small ink stain towards the bottom of a blouse that can be tucked in? No big deal. Stains of bodily origin, (sweat marks, pet marks,etc.) Pitch it. Paint? Pitch it. Slightly mud stained knees? Let the mom decide how desperate her kid is for jeans.
4) There is bargain brand detergent clean and laundry whiz clean. They both are clean.
5) There is an inverse relationship between the demand for an item and the condition we will accept it in.
This applies to brand names as well as particular types of items.
I am absolutely ruthless about screening adult t-shirts. We get bajillions. It takes some serious nastiness to get me to pitch a pair of kids pants.
This is because the center always has an excess of t-shirts and a shortage of pants. I will deal with holey knees, slight fraying at the bottom, and colors that have faded a hue or two. Sure we still get rid of some. Anything so short that unshaved pubic hair might be visible, or has holes in personal places.
The point is though, when we have a tough time acquiring inventory, then standards are sometimes stretched a bit. The same principles apply to kids tennis shoes. If a pair has unfrayed laces and soles that aren't cracked or floppy, they probably won't see the yellow bag of doom...scuffed toes or not.
In our last post, we covered the unbelievable things that escape the back room somehow. Today, let's look at the other foot. What is okay to put out, when "less than perfect." What got me going on this was an incident where I found some perfectly good girls jeans stuck in the cast off bag.
"What's wrong with these?"
"There was dirty underwear in the bag they were in."
(Uh, no there wasn't. That bag came from my house, and I loaded it directly from stuff that had just come out of the dryer. Now there might have been some stained clean underwear stuck inside a pair of pants that laundry man missed, but stained and clean is worlds different than dirty...but that's off topic. The point is, there was some horrible underwear related error.)
"Okay, but what was wrong with these?"
"Nothing."
"Then we need to hang them up. We can't just toss stuff because of what was around it."
(I would have gone back and rescued the scooters too, but I could tell we had hit this person's shock limit already. I bought those flippin things NEW.)
"How long have you been a chair?"
"Since last October."
"Okay."
Remember, I am the one who found the stained thong out on the display floor! I am sympathetic to the eww moments of used underwear. I folded up that t-shirt and put it back on the table. Our clients are shrewd. They will wash before they wear.
That followed one of our regulars bringing me some "but they're perfectly good jackets" with stains. We kept two, (one I couldn't even FIND what she was talking about. The other was totally in a
"discreet" location) set aside one for laundering (which I forgot to bring home), and pitched two (you don't want to know. shiver.)
Hitting both these extremes in one day made me think perhaps the standards need to be further clarified.
So for the shoe on the other foot rules...it's pretty simple.
1) Clothes, like people have to be judged on their own merits. One icky item in a bag doesn't mean pitch the whole bag.
2) Gently used is not the same thing as "new." Missing tags, slight fading, stretching,etc. is okay. Really. It adds character. We will happily accept donations of new/my kid didn't like it items though!
3) When deciding if a spot is "bad enough" to put something that is otherwise okay into the castoffs, origins and location are key. Small ink stain towards the bottom of a blouse that can be tucked in? No big deal. Stains of bodily origin, (sweat marks, pet marks,etc.) Pitch it. Paint? Pitch it. Slightly mud stained knees? Let the mom decide how desperate her kid is for jeans.
4) There is bargain brand detergent clean and laundry whiz clean. They both are clean.
5) There is an inverse relationship between the demand for an item and the condition we will accept it in.
This applies to brand names as well as particular types of items.
I am absolutely ruthless about screening adult t-shirts. We get bajillions. It takes some serious nastiness to get me to pitch a pair of kids pants.
This is because the center always has an excess of t-shirts and a shortage of pants. I will deal with holey knees, slight fraying at the bottom, and colors that have faded a hue or two. Sure we still get rid of some. Anything so short that unshaved pubic hair might be visible, or has holes in personal places.
The point is though, when we have a tough time acquiring inventory, then standards are sometimes stretched a bit. The same principles apply to kids tennis shoes. If a pair has unfrayed laces and soles that aren't cracked or floppy, they probably won't see the yellow bag of doom...scuffed toes or not.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
A few guidelines about donations.
I have the privilege to assist in running a free clothing center on Monday mornings during the school year.
As I have spent a couple hours almost every day this week readying our space for the new customers, I think about how thrift stores who do this on a MUCH larger scale must be staffed by saints. Because this week alone, has reminded my many times that we all know which path is paved with good intentions.
Fortunately our cast offs go to be recycled so nothing is wasted...but if you are thinking of donating the following, please consider saving our volunteers some work and recycling them appropriately yourself.
1) Used undergarments with stains. Just this week I found a pair of white mesh thong underwear w/ skids on the thong part. Thanks, but uh, no.
2) Clothes with so many pills on them they need a prescription.
3) "Self decorated items" (tie-dye excluded.) Really, who besides the child who made it will want a puffy painted bumblebee shirt with their name on the front? Some of these slip out onto the floor...and then stay there for-ev-er because even though we're grown ups, we feel like schmucks for pitching little Joanies handpainted t-shirt she outgrew three years ago...and she's not even our kid! and it's corollary....
4) Personalized items. If the kids name is ironed on, and they didn't grow up to be a professional athlete, another kid will not want to wear it. Really.
5) Items that need stain removal by a laundry genie.
6) Garments with holes in awkward places. Yes, ripped out knees are sometimes fashionable. Huge holes in the armpits of t-shirts are not.
7) Clothes you might find on a downtown street corner. Remember, we are a clothing center for students.
8) Ditto on the illegal activity, alcohol themed, etc. garments.
9) Clothes that were going out of fashion when you were a child.
10) Single shoes. Shoes with the toes busted out. Shoes with holes in the soles. Shoes missing their insoles.
What do we want then? Well, we want ALL your gently used clothes from infant to adult, but especially have a need for....
1) shoes in pairs in decent condition. Last years boots that Johhny wore twice. The shoes Cara only wore for gym class.
2) Pretty much any boys clothes, especially pants, that aren't totally destroyed. Being the mother of four boys, I can appreciate what a challenge this can be.
3) NEW socks and underwear are always appreciated! We give five pairs of each to any student whose parent shows up with proof of enrollment.
4) small toys/books,etc. to give our tag-a-long guests to keep their hands busy while mom shops.
5) Teen girl clothes always seem to go fast, especially the branded stuff.
Thanks!
Momma M
As I have spent a couple hours almost every day this week readying our space for the new customers, I think about how thrift stores who do this on a MUCH larger scale must be staffed by saints. Because this week alone, has reminded my many times that we all know which path is paved with good intentions.
Fortunately our cast offs go to be recycled so nothing is wasted...but if you are thinking of donating the following, please consider saving our volunteers some work and recycling them appropriately yourself.
1) Used undergarments with stains. Just this week I found a pair of white mesh thong underwear w/ skids on the thong part. Thanks, but uh, no.
2) Clothes with so many pills on them they need a prescription.
3) "Self decorated items" (tie-dye excluded.) Really, who besides the child who made it will want a puffy painted bumblebee shirt with their name on the front? Some of these slip out onto the floor...and then stay there for-ev-er because even though we're grown ups, we feel like schmucks for pitching little Joanies handpainted t-shirt she outgrew three years ago...and she's not even our kid! and it's corollary....
4) Personalized items. If the kids name is ironed on, and they didn't grow up to be a professional athlete, another kid will not want to wear it. Really.
5) Items that need stain removal by a laundry genie.
6) Garments with holes in awkward places. Yes, ripped out knees are sometimes fashionable. Huge holes in the armpits of t-shirts are not.
7) Clothes you might find on a downtown street corner. Remember, we are a clothing center for students.
8) Ditto on the illegal activity, alcohol themed, etc. garments.
9) Clothes that were going out of fashion when you were a child.
10) Single shoes. Shoes with the toes busted out. Shoes with holes in the soles. Shoes missing their insoles.
What do we want then? Well, we want ALL your gently used clothes from infant to adult, but especially have a need for....
1) shoes in pairs in decent condition. Last years boots that Johhny wore twice. The shoes Cara only wore for gym class.
2) Pretty much any boys clothes, especially pants, that aren't totally destroyed. Being the mother of four boys, I can appreciate what a challenge this can be.
3) NEW socks and underwear are always appreciated! We give five pairs of each to any student whose parent shows up with proof of enrollment.
4) small toys/books,etc. to give our tag-a-long guests to keep their hands busy while mom shops.
5) Teen girl clothes always seem to go fast, especially the branded stuff.
Thanks!
Momma M
The last little bird has started to fly.
Today, is the first day in almost fifteen years I have spent an entire school day alone. Yesterday, Mr. Man worked from home. A few things I've come to realize.
8-3 is a much shorter time than I ever imagined.
I am very good at housework avoidance.
Letting go is hard.
It only goes faster from here. Mom...mom...mom...I NEED you turns into "why were you on the porch when I got home from school?" awfully quick.
The younger kids are like puppies tripping over each other trying to tell me the best part of their day and show me their homework. They are all hugs and cuddles, and a tad clingy after a whole day away after spending the summer with mom. They yap about their pals, their shoes, anything.
The middle schooler gave me the teacher rundown on the first day. He gave me stuff to sign on the second. He asked me to buy apples this morning.
The high schooler:
" So, how do you like your teachers?"
"Fine."
"What class do you think you'll like best?"
"I dunno. Probably video."
"How was your first day of block scheduling?"
"Okay. I only had one honors class, so Wednesdays will be a light homework night."
"Okay. I only had one honors class, so Wednesdays will be a light homework night."
Notice, nothing...nada...about the teenagers friends...either one of them. They are starting to separate their social lives from us. It's normal, but terrifying. I'm their mother. I NEED to know everything. Then again, remembering my teen years, maybe I don't.
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