I know that people are individuals, but we can't seem to resist grouping them. I tend to categorize young children by the methods they attempt to self destruct, putting their parents at wits end.This morning on the news there was a story of a motivated, intelligent, three year old who seemed to decide the dog needed to go for a walk, at 4am...and his parents didn't wake up until 4:45. All I felt for these parents was sympathy. I'm glad the child was found safe. I just hope the community around his household doesn't get too judgy. For the kid was clearly a Houdini child.
I have a friend who had a Houdini child who enjoyed escaping from car-seats. He somehow managed to live to adulthood, and is still a very creative soul. My boy number three had a few Houdini moments,but thankfully this wasn't his lifestyle choice. These kids are 1)smart,2) extremely coordinated for their age and 3)QUIET toddlers. This kid being awake when a parent is distracted for five minutes, say cooking or nursing; or sleeping, is a challenge to say the least. These are the people who put leashes on their kids in shopping centers, and people look at the docile child and feel sorry for them. Except that the third time mom takes her little escape artist to Walmart with his monkey backpack with strap around the waist duct-taped on, he somehow loses her between the cereal aisle and the canned goods. Fortunately the child is usually pretty easy to find, being a kid....he'll be up on the second level bike rack in toys.
Also among the ranks of kids are those who are "permanently content." At first, this seems like a blessing. This baby never cries. He's compliant and easy to manage as a toddler/preschooler. He can keep himself occupied for HOURS with anything. The real parenting quandaries with this child are when 1) something breaks the child is attached to, 2) one needs to find a form of negative discipline that well, works. Most parents figure out 1) pretty fast. If the kid doesn't sleep with it, it can just disappear during the night, and he'll look for it in the morning, then shrug it off and play with something else. If the kid does sleep with it, well, scrappy will eventually be outgrown or the kid will start preschool and you can pull a switch. There might be some minor resistance the first night, but after that it's smooth sailing. It's 2) that sends parents over the edge. Thankfully, since Mr. Contentment is extremely compliant, the p word isn't really an issue all that often. I have a teenager in this category, and I merely want him to get his schoolwork done on time. He's really great overall. His answer to any small household request from unloading the dishwasher to babysitting a couple of hours is okay. We have tried many ways to reach him.
Converstation A:
"Do you have any homework?"
"No."
"What about x class?"
"Done."
"Show it to your Dad then."
"Mom." rolls his eyes and retreats to his cave.
Conversation B:
"How is your project going?"
"Fine."
"When is it due?"
"2 weeks ago."
Conversation C;
"That was a fabulous grade you got on your Divergent journal"
Chesire cat smile from boy.
" How do you think we can apply those skills to some of your other schoolwork?"
"I don't know."
Obviously, talking hasn't worked very well. Last year we took away his electronics. The thing is, the kid likes to read. So we took away his leisure books. He spent his time drawing. I can't take away his paper and pencils. He needs those to do his homework! His father has this temperment too, and I admit, it makes an easy man to live with.
On the other end of the toddler spectrum is "danger baby." No matter how diligent the parent, it only takes a few minutes nursing a younger sibling, using the bathroom, or some other totally unnecessary task for this child to seize his opportunity. These are the quiet, curious kids! (If they were more vocal, we could head off some of their adventures!) Boy #3 is the poster child for danger baby. You name it, he's done. Pushed up a chair to the stove, loaded a pot with wooden utensils and turned it on. Check. Climbed out on the roof, in November, NAKED. Check. Cut a vacuum cord with kitchen shears while it was plugged in. check. Thankfully that last one had a spectacular enough effect he now checks with us before conducting experiments.
I could go on, but I'm sure you all get the idea by now. Right now I need to go chase monkey boy. Bet you can guess what his thing is.
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