Mr. M & I are far from health food icons. However, from what we've seen, we do feed our children better than the average bear. We started young and idealistic. Our oldest thought whole grain graham crackers were cookies until he started preschool. Over the years, and with additional siblings, the standards have relaxed some from that day. Yet what I consider our biggest success isn't with my children anyway. It's with my husband.
When we were first married, Mr. M had borderline high blood pressure. His current numbers, even though he's in his 40's instead of his 20's is in the "safe" zone. So what changed?
It wasn't his exercise habits. If anything, he's less active now than ever. (Not something we're proud of, just a fact.)
No, what we've changed is a) what he eats and b) his stress levels. Leaving the fast food industry was the best thing we've ever done for my husband's health.
What the restaurant industry doesn't share is how it kills it's employees two ways. 1) Free/reduced priced food. 2) Overtaxing their bodies There are reasons those jobs pay well for the education they require.
One of the easiest ways to lower blood pressure is bring your sodium consumption down to a (more) reasonable level. Eliminating fast food does wonders for this. Working in fast food, odds are a person is eating there once or twice a day, because well...it's cheap or free and they aren't paid overly well. They're still jobs aimed at low education levels after all. Odds are, that person will eat less fat too after leaving. And just the grease in the air can't be a good thing IMHO.
The work is physically taxing too. I have pre-carpal tunnel from all my years cashiering in various fast foods. It's not documented as well as with office employees/retail but is probably at a higher prevalence. These peeps just can't afford to pay for the treatment, and it's hard to prove a single job liable, since most people in this industry change jobs fairly regularly. The constant availability expected of employees with more seniority probably has something to do with that. Part of why I quit my last job was because they refused to cut my hours. I still think Mr. M's hernia surgery was related to that work, but again, hard to prove...but he never went back...and has been much happier since. I too, broke down from the exhaustion and constant time on my feet. This work was not for the middle aged.
I've also spent a fair amount of time waiting tables. In general, the higher tier the restaurant, the better you were treated. There were also more healthy options available, more breaks with shorter/split shifts, and better money. While it still shares some of the hazards of fast food, it's easier to eschew them.
Yet even after all this, the kids love their biweekly fries. Hopefully that's the only fast food legacy we leave behind.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Snow, glorious snow.
One thing I love about being a SAHM. I can still love snow. I don't have to go out every day and battle it on the roads. I don't have to scrape my own car very often. So the adult bitterness against it never really set into my life.
Why do I love snow? I have six kids. How could I not?
In younger kids, snow means little eyes peering over the windowsill, jaws dropped in wonder.
Such pretty, drifty, sparkly stuff. They just have to get a closer look. So, wrapped up like a mummy in layers of underclothes, clothes, snow clothes, hats, mittens, scarves, boots, they venture out moving like little stiff robots. Then the inevitable happens. One mitten comes off, and they have to touch it.
"Ow! It cold!" "Mamma!" (waddling back to the door.)
In we go to run hands under warm water and reinforce the idea of dressing for the weather.
Now with some kids it's their feet, because they refused to wear boots...but the results pretty much the same. I think I must be a little bit of a sadist to find this funny.
In school age kids, the snow brings the inevitable question "Are they going to cancel school?"
The parent answer is "I don't know. we'll see."
The parent thought is more definite. Either "Yeah, right, for half an inch of fluff that will melt by morning" or "What insane bus driver will be out in 4" of snow on the road. Yes! It's canceled, but that doesn't mean you're going anywhere kid."
There is a certain satisfaction of getting out of bed in the morning and turning off the kids alarms though. Or when they start stirring saying "Go back to sleep. There's no school today."
I kind of love those snuggle down under the covers, group sleep mornings.
The problem is they're followed by the severe cabin fever afternoons.
The first day they can stomp in the yard and build snowmen.
The second day they can poke sticks in the snow in the back yard.
By the third though, we're all in trouble.
This year though, on many of those afternoons, they've been rescued by an angel of light, or at least a friend of mine that's an EMT. He took them sledding. And when I see the pics of joy from that I just can't hate snow. It brings too much joy to my kids.
Why do I love snow? I have six kids. How could I not?
In younger kids, snow means little eyes peering over the windowsill, jaws dropped in wonder.
Such pretty, drifty, sparkly stuff. They just have to get a closer look. So, wrapped up like a mummy in layers of underclothes, clothes, snow clothes, hats, mittens, scarves, boots, they venture out moving like little stiff robots. Then the inevitable happens. One mitten comes off, and they have to touch it.
"Ow! It cold!" "Mamma!" (waddling back to the door.)
In we go to run hands under warm water and reinforce the idea of dressing for the weather.
Now with some kids it's their feet, because they refused to wear boots...but the results pretty much the same. I think I must be a little bit of a sadist to find this funny.
In school age kids, the snow brings the inevitable question "Are they going to cancel school?"
The parent answer is "I don't know. we'll see."
The parent thought is more definite. Either "Yeah, right, for half an inch of fluff that will melt by morning" or "What insane bus driver will be out in 4" of snow on the road. Yes! It's canceled, but that doesn't mean you're going anywhere kid."
There is a certain satisfaction of getting out of bed in the morning and turning off the kids alarms though. Or when they start stirring saying "Go back to sleep. There's no school today."
I kind of love those snuggle down under the covers, group sleep mornings.
The problem is they're followed by the severe cabin fever afternoons.
The first day they can stomp in the yard and build snowmen.
The second day they can poke sticks in the snow in the back yard.
By the third though, we're all in trouble.
This year though, on many of those afternoons, they've been rescued by an angel of light, or at least a friend of mine that's an EMT. He took them sledding. And when I see the pics of joy from that I just can't hate snow. It brings too much joy to my kids.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Parenting seminar topics?
I recently had a friend suggest in humor, that I could probably teach them a trick or two. Truthfully the phrases she used in her post were foreign.
Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.
Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.
Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.
Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Why I married a hermit
Every now and then, some acquaintance of mine will ask why I married Mr.M. (or am still married to him.) Don't judge the person asking here. They generally don't know him well.
They just see the contrast in our personalities, and know we have some separate hobbies.
Maybe they met him at a party where he sat in the corner with a book, barely grunting a greeting to anyone. Maybe they've known me a while and still haven't met him at all.
I have to admit, from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem to make sense. Yet, I can't imagine my life without him.
The short answer is God chose him for me..
These people are rarely satisfied by the short answer.
So here's the long answer.
A long time ago, I wrote a list. I was sick of dating. So, I wrote a list. I wrote a list of attributes I wanted in a husband. I was not ever going to get seriously involved with another man romantically unless he matched up to that list. I put the list in a drawer. I forgot about it.
About 6 months later I met my husband. About six months after that we were married.
About 5 years ago, in the process of moving I found the journal with that list. My husband has every single trait I asked God for in a husband. I was given exactly what I wanted.
I did not put down extrovert. And truthfully, I'm glad Mr. M is what he is.
He's centered, emotionally stable, hard working, loving & kind.
While he's not a beacon of encouragement and enthusiasm, he's not critical or afraid to get his own hands dirty to get things done. The man never curses or complains. Ever.
He's patient & considerate. He's the one who explains things for the millionth time, and washes the hand wash dishes. If the washer is in the basement, he does the laundry, because he knows stairs are hard for me and that bugs and concrete floors creep me out.
He's brilliant. We can converse on any topic intelligently, and he won't be offended if I get a little "intense". He knows I'm not angry. I'm passionate. We rarely disagree, so often one of us plays "devils advocate."
We both work hard at learning about the other one's interests. He's watched an episode of Grey's (even though med shows make him turn green.) I've learned about NBA basketball.
Sometimes we pick up something new. (Never, in a million years, did I think I would be a secular fantasy fan.) Sometimes we don't. (He will never sing karaoke, ever. )
Bottom line though, is we've grown together over the years, and our lives are more intertwined now than ever....and that doesn't even touch the kids and what they've done to our relationship.
There are moments there that I could love him for the rest of my life for.
He's so sensitive to my needs he can reach out and wake me from a nightmare in his sleep.
Just pick a kid moment, any of them. Whether telling silly jokes with the older boys, reading Si Guy his "truck book" or miss D her purple daisy bible, or letting Miss P "help" clean or cook.
Sometimes, I can "feel" him praying....and the peace that comes with it.
We can't beat God's best for us, and I know that I know that I know my husband is God's best for me. I just hope I am the same for him.
They just see the contrast in our personalities, and know we have some separate hobbies.
Maybe they met him at a party where he sat in the corner with a book, barely grunting a greeting to anyone. Maybe they've known me a while and still haven't met him at all.
I have to admit, from the outside looking in, it doesn't seem to make sense. Yet, I can't imagine my life without him.
The short answer is God chose him for me..
These people are rarely satisfied by the short answer.
So here's the long answer.
A long time ago, I wrote a list. I was sick of dating. So, I wrote a list. I wrote a list of attributes I wanted in a husband. I was not ever going to get seriously involved with another man romantically unless he matched up to that list. I put the list in a drawer. I forgot about it.
About 6 months later I met my husband. About six months after that we were married.
About 5 years ago, in the process of moving I found the journal with that list. My husband has every single trait I asked God for in a husband. I was given exactly what I wanted.
I did not put down extrovert. And truthfully, I'm glad Mr. M is what he is.
He's centered, emotionally stable, hard working, loving & kind.
While he's not a beacon of encouragement and enthusiasm, he's not critical or afraid to get his own hands dirty to get things done. The man never curses or complains. Ever.
He's patient & considerate. He's the one who explains things for the millionth time, and washes the hand wash dishes. If the washer is in the basement, he does the laundry, because he knows stairs are hard for me and that bugs and concrete floors creep me out.
He's brilliant. We can converse on any topic intelligently, and he won't be offended if I get a little "intense". He knows I'm not angry. I'm passionate. We rarely disagree, so often one of us plays "devils advocate."
We both work hard at learning about the other one's interests. He's watched an episode of Grey's (even though med shows make him turn green.) I've learned about NBA basketball.
Sometimes we pick up something new. (Never, in a million years, did I think I would be a secular fantasy fan.) Sometimes we don't. (He will never sing karaoke, ever. )
Bottom line though, is we've grown together over the years, and our lives are more intertwined now than ever....and that doesn't even touch the kids and what they've done to our relationship.
There are moments there that I could love him for the rest of my life for.
He's so sensitive to my needs he can reach out and wake me from a nightmare in his sleep.
Just pick a kid moment, any of them. Whether telling silly jokes with the older boys, reading Si Guy his "truck book" or miss D her purple daisy bible, or letting Miss P "help" clean or cook.
Sometimes, I can "feel" him praying....and the peace that comes with it.
We can't beat God's best for us, and I know that I know that I know my husband is God's best for me. I just hope I am the same for him.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My kids thoughts on marriage.
"Mom. I'm NEVER going to get married."
okay.
"Maybe I'll get married, but I won't have kids."
okay.
"Can I have kids without getting married?"
Kinda hard. Since you're a boy.
"oh."
Raising kids is a two person job anyway.
"Yeah, but I want to be the one who stays home and plays on the computer."
Gee, Thanks.
"I'm not going to kiss a girl until I get married."
That's fine.
"But that's like forever away."
Mhmm. That's okay. We'd rather you didn't date until college anyway.
"I think I can handle that, but I want to marry O. Okay?"
"Why can't I be the mom?!"
"Because you're a boy!"
"That's sexist!"
"You have to be married before you can have a baby."
"DO NOT!"
"Do so!"
Not really, but it's a good idea.
"Told ya so."
"Really? Mommy, you're joking right. How can people have babies without being married? That's just silly."
"Mom. I want to get married someday, but I don't want to do that yuck stuff you and dad do okay?"
Okay.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
Written on 1-1-11. :)
2011 is here. This should be a big year in our house for many reasons.
a) We should finally be moving into our REAL home..the one I intend to grow old in.
b) Our oldest son is leaving elementary school, entering 7th Grade, turning 13!
No more Kidz Choir plays, he's movin on up to YOUTH! Please let him continue to make good choices at school too.
c) Our younger daughter, Princess P, starts kindergarten. This leaves me with just Si Guy for half a day each day. Hope he doesn't get too lonely. Heck, hope I don't get too lonely, or crazy. Might be a little late for crazy though.
d) Si Guy will finally finish potty training....Our home will diaper/pull up free for the first time in, well, about 13 years. Part of me LOVES this. Part of me hates it. No diapers, means no babies after all, and I'm a confirmed infant addict. Fortunately I have a few friends with babies right now, so I can ease off them gradually. Not sure whether to dance or cry.
e) We *may* take a real, just because vacation with some friends for the first time, ever. (If the week Mr M is not on pager is not a kids camp week.) We will take a day or two to see family, ((how could be be in WI and not??) but for the most part it'll be a purely recreational trip, if it happens.
f) Even if the above doesn't happen, we will take a family camping trip, because our kids will tar ,feather, and duct tape us to our beds in our sleep if we don't. That though, will be taking a spin on the "wheel o' relatives!" Texas? Wisconsin? California? Indiana? North Carolina? So many destinations, so little money and time...
Wherever we go, whatever we do, God knows what's best and it'll be great. It's all good, all the time. 2011, here we come! Ready or not.
2011 is here. This should be a big year in our house for many reasons.
a) We should finally be moving into our REAL home..the one I intend to grow old in.
b) Our oldest son is leaving elementary school, entering 7th Grade, turning 13!
No more Kidz Choir plays, he's movin on up to YOUTH! Please let him continue to make good choices at school too.
c) Our younger daughter, Princess P, starts kindergarten. This leaves me with just Si Guy for half a day each day. Hope he doesn't get too lonely. Heck, hope I don't get too lonely, or crazy. Might be a little late for crazy though.
d) Si Guy will finally finish potty training....Our home will diaper/pull up free for the first time in, well, about 13 years. Part of me LOVES this. Part of me hates it. No diapers, means no babies after all, and I'm a confirmed infant addict. Fortunately I have a few friends with babies right now, so I can ease off them gradually. Not sure whether to dance or cry.
e) We *may* take a real, just because vacation with some friends for the first time, ever. (If the week Mr M is not on pager is not a kids camp week.) We will take a day or two to see family, ((how could be be in WI and not??) but for the most part it'll be a purely recreational trip, if it happens.
f) Even if the above doesn't happen, we will take a family camping trip, because our kids will tar ,feather, and duct tape us to our beds in our sleep if we don't. That though, will be taking a spin on the "wheel o' relatives!" Texas? Wisconsin? California? Indiana? North Carolina? So many destinations, so little money and time...
Wherever we go, whatever we do, God knows what's best and it'll be great. It's all good, all the time. 2011, here we come! Ready or not.
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