Friday, January 21, 2011

Parenting seminar topics?

I recently had a friend suggest in humor, that I could probably teach them a trick or two. Truthfully the phrases she used in her post were foreign.

Most of my parenting is based on the rather mundane concepts of trust, truth, and natural consequences.
So while I get exasperated by my three year old son's food thievery, or the kids jockeying for computer time...for the most part we just keep moving forward.

Remember the phases of parenting.
Until they're about 6 or so, you are the fireman and police officer. You make the rules. You enforce the rules. While you may give simple explanations of the whys of the rules...in reality, it's the consequences that keep them in line.
Then comes the age of reason, where you state your reasons and they believe you without question. 6-9 year olds are the golden age of parenting.
Then it comes to needing a law degree to talk to your kid. My MIL calls ten year olds "deca-dent. " I call them mini-lawyers. Preteens are so good at hypotheticals and exceptions it's unreal. Sure there's always "because I said so." BUT you'll get more trust and respect out of your logic-oriented kid if you can guide him to see the reasons to the rules himself. Kids this age can handle having a hand in the consequences too...both good and bad.
Here's hoping I've laid the groundwork well in these phases, for the one ahead, teens...is what we call "practice adults." In theory. We're not there yet. We'll see.

No comments: