Set your "reminder" on your cell phone to go off on LOUD every two hours. Every time it goes off boil some water on the stove, and make a cup of caffeinated tea. Drink tea. Try to sleep until alarm goes off again. Repeat for six weeks. (The frequent bathroom breaks are great practice for pregnancy and beyond.)
Practice the newborn burrito wrap on a small squirmy animal, like a cat or a rabbit. Make sure no legs get loose to scratch you or themselves with.
Take that animal, and set it on the floor with a few trays of paint. Leave unattended for 5 minutes. Clean up mess, with paint trays and pet still loose.
Now let's take both those animals shopping. Pay for everything they chew on, open, or break.
Go roller skating with a bowling ball duct taped to your leg.
Use a different glass every time you get a drink without washing any for three days.
This is approximately the number your eight year old will use in one day.
Put a half eaten apple behind the couch. Leave it there for a week. Clean carpet.
Bonus points if a month goes by because you forgot about it.
Let your husband host an all night guy's party. You'd be surprised how similar the aftermath is to a slumber party.
Have your husband wear earplugs. Now ask him to take out the trash.....
Go to the grocery store blindfolded. Load your cart and pay for it. Don't peek at the groceries until you get home.
Leave your car parked on a busy street in a questionable neighborhood for a few hours. Try not to notice the new dents or missing headlights/hubcaps.
Give away one of your most prized possessions. A lot of parenting is learning to let go of something/someone you treasure.
2 comments:
The last line is one I totally understand.
:) Well...I guess it's a little late if i'm not ready!
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