The worst day at church, ever

Call it a cop out, but I love Kids World at church. I have six, eight, and ten year old boys. Grouped together without the second parent present to separate them I won't even set foot in the sanctuary. Instead, we hang out in the library. The kids look at books. I read a magazine or short novel. Chip can crawl under the table. Everyone's happy. Usually. Usually it's only for twenty minutes or so. Today, because of a concert "special" they waited almost an hour into the service to dismiss the kids. If I had known it was going to be that long, we would have gone home, sick Dad or not.

As it is, I'm not a member of the psychic friends network, so we followed our usual routine...and about twenty minutes into it the younger two boys got bored. Our oldest found a fat suspense novel to read. It could have been twice as long and he wouldn't have even noticed.

So they teased each other and wrestled and bugged for about ten more minutes. Then, knowing it was past the usual time, they took off....but no one was there. So we sat outside the youth room, without the benefit of library books, and tried to wait...and wait....I think I turned into the nana-nag.

"Get off the carpet roll!"
"Sit on the pew, no. no. Keep your feet off of it!"
"On is not under."
And so on and so forth for about another twenty minutes.

Finally, relieved they were all in place. I headed back down towards the library, since I didn't want to interrupt in the sanctuary. I can hear the whole service from there anyway. Fifteen minutes later service was done.

Collecting the kids didn't really go much better. First to the nursery. Our two year old wanted to finish her movie. Okay. I go to get the one year old and it takes a while to find his coat. I almost forgot our four year old, but ya know the staff isn't going to let you leave anyone behind. The nana-nag returns.

"Okay, let's get the boys! No Princess P, not downstairs. They're up. It's not AWANA. Hey girls, wait for me."

Sure enough, they charge ahead into where kid's world is held. I get the older kids out faster than the ones who shouldn't have been in there in the first place!

"Okay, do I have six kids? One, two, three, four...Hey! Where are the other two? Get back here. We're not going that way. We'll go out this door."

Yeah, this door that was on the opposite side of the building from where we parked. I forgot that I had parked next to the nursery this morning to it would be "easier" when it was time to go. It's a nice day. We can walk outside right?"

"Stay together"
"Hey! Stay with your herd. Animals that stray from their herd get eaten!"
"Abe, I've unlocked the car. Run and catch up w/ princess D so she can get in. Close the book and RUN!"

K, finally. Everyone loaded. Everyone on the way home. We were there. At least today the music was good.