Kids and prayer

I recently received an e-mail from my mom, asking my take on "teaching kids to pray." I've mulled over the topic the last couple of days, looking back at how we do things. I even quizzed our oldest two boys in the van yesterday.

"Guys, have Dad and I ever really tried to teach you how to pray?"
"Nope."

"Do you pray?"
"Yes."

"How do you pray?"
"By myself, in my head mostly."
"I write letters to God in my head." (I LOVED this answer. I'm sure they're delivered by angelic expressions air mail service.)

When do you pray?
"At bed time and at church?"
"At recess, and at bed time."

When can you pray?
"Anytime. Anywhere."
"Yeah."

So they know the basics, and they are both comfortable praying & talking about prayer. How did they learn them?

Example certainly doesn't hurt anything. They've seen a lot of prayer, over lots of things. Yes we pray about the big stuff, but I pray a lot about the day to day stuff too. Sometimes I pray out loud when I can't find shoes, keys, or a parking place. I sing praise songs in the car. Their father sometimes bows his head quietly before one of their games. We pray at dinner. Sometimes I lay a hand on them and pray for them after they’ve gone to bed.

Really though, I think the main reason they're growing in prayer is because we have always presented faith as a relationship. (We've offered to help with the introductions.) When you have a relationship with someone you want to talk to them. And essentially, that's all prayer is, is talking to God. It never made sense to us to try and teach "public" prayer before they understood "private prayer." Jesus warned against "empty words."He wants everything we do for Him to come from the heart. Meaningful prayer is personal. It takes maturity and courage to share it.

That's not to say we just leave our kids alone in a closet without a flashlight. We make sure they have the tools they need. There are a few scriptural principles that we've taught them which helped prayer become a natural part of their lives. After all, "the word of the Lord, will not return in void." (Isaiah 55:11. That chapter gives some powerful examples of why we should go before the Lord in prayer in other places too.)

"God knows us better than we know ourselves" (Psalms 139:1,5-6.) Knowing this truth makes it easier to be obedient in confession. Nothing takes God by surprise.

"God wants what's best for us." (Jeremiah 29:11 of course, and Romans 8. All of it.) It's a lot easier to trust someone when you know they're not out to "get you." It makes it easier to accept God's answer when it's not what we want to hear. It makes praying for their friends relevant. After all, God wants what's best for them too “Do all things as unto the Lord.” (Col. 3:17,23) Praying for God to reveal his will in our lives is important.

"Dwell on the good stuff." (Philipians 4:7-9) It really helps with the prayer cornerstone below.

"Have a gratitude attitude." (1 Thess. 5:18) Thanksgiving is a huge part of prayer. Sometimes we even play a gratitude game at the dinner table, where everyone lists things they're thankful for. According to my search on Bible Gateway, the words give and thanks are put together 85 times in the Bible. I really believe that gratitude is the cornerstone block of a good prayer life. Just look at the Lord’s Prayer. Most of it is acknowledging the greatness of God. It begins by stating our relationship with him. The next stanza acknowledges his holiness.The next one is about how his will is the best, and wishing it to be enforced here as it is in heaven.

Matthew Chapter 6 says a lot about prayer, besides the wonderful example provided by the Lord’s prayer. I believe the key verse of that chapter is Matthew 6:34 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” If our children are planted in relationship with Christ, prayer will be grow naturally from it.